I last posted ~ 5months ago. Since then I have broke up with my LTR, have been re-reading the sidebar like it might disappear (The Book of Pook, WISNIFG, No more Mr. Nice Guy, The Rational Male, (1/2) Bang,The subtle art of not giving a fuck (not side bar, but it wouldn't be amiss there)) and almost daily I am struck by a feeling of awesomeness/opportunity/world-is-my-oyster that has resulted from it. I feel high on life and I fucking love it.

As a result of all of this reading and my circumstances, I have come to a personal conclusion in regards to thinking about shit tests that I want to invite feedback on.

Background: I was always confused previously about whether or not her behaviour was "classic shit test" or "lack of respect". Did I need to man up and give her a smack on the ass, or was her behaviour unacceptable? This had been my only long term relationship up to that point, and I really didn't have anything to base it on other than the relationships around me, so I wasn't sure if this was normal (see: scarcity mentality). The responses that I received on the forum, and that other people often receive, was along the lines of:

You take her too seriously At some point her nonsense should become amusing to you, even if shrill and bitchy. Your frame blows. That's why you get shit tested so much. So your 6 months in based on your Reddit age...You can either beta out and quit - have fun MGTOWing.

Some responses suggested the opposite, which was encouraging, but the majority suggested I need to "fix it" and that I was the problem. Cool. It was very easy for me to accept this and shoulder it all: I fucked up in the beginning of our relationship, I let her walk over me, and now I need to fix it no matter how difficult it is, because I am a man goddamit! All I needed to do was get better at AA, AM, Fogging, not DEERING, don't show butt hurt...(but I've been doing this for 8 months. Why isn't it working?)

Which brings me to today, when I am re-reading "The way of the superior man", specifically the section titled "Stop hoping for your woman to get easier"and I think "NO!"...when suddenly a wild Pook appears and goes >remember the 3 date rule! Aha!

Main Point So much of this community is built around defining for others (those that seek advice, myself included) what is acceptable behaviour by their women. What is AWALT, something that you just need to get over, what should be fun to deal with, what is unacceptable. So much of my confusion (see: lack of confidence) came from a difference of opinions between "If dem supa smrt intrnt guys say so, den it mst be so!!" and my gut saying "fuck.this.shit". Are all women REALLY like this? If I leave her without a successful ending will I certainly fall into the same shitty behaviour with the next woman I sleep with? If I leave her am I just weak(er) than the online guys who made it work with THEIR women?

YOU need to define what is acceptable behaviour and what is unacceptable behaviour, to YOU.

There was a bunch of behaviour in my relationship that wouldn't pass the "3rd date rule" (If this behaviour happened on the 3rd date, would there be a 4th date?). Did I leave when she got unty? yep. Did I look good naked? Yep. Did I whip out AA and AM with increasing frequency? yep. Was I always gaming her? yep. Was I the archetypal super chad? Nope. ...but I also wasn't the bluepill bitch that I was 2 years ago. Just because I hadn't(haven't) reached my ultimate goal (life is one long march towards that personal ideal) doesn't mean I need to keep eating shit pies either.

And I, RedishPill thundercock, decided that I will not be talked to like this. I had decided that screaming, swearing, and condescension (along with a few others) would no longer be tolerated.

To me, this is substantially different from "let her talk as she will, and then use game to show her that you aren't affected by her. You are an Oak".

"The Oak" vs. "The Punching Bag". Important distinction.

Supporting Drama - This is what a main event looks like When my actions fell in line with what my "gut" had been telling me, I ended the relationship. After two instances of unacceptable behaviour in as many days, I told her I was done. I knew that I was making the right decision, this was 50% of our time together in the making, not some spur of the moment come-to-christ episode. Her reaction went from disbelief, to anger, to sadness, to begging me not to go. I wasn't budging on my decision because I knew that I was doing what I needed to do, and she completely lost it when she realized that I was actually going. I left that night, and when I returned the next day to start packing up my things she was even more of a mess. Snot bubbles, tears, unintelligible words, pleading, bartering. Trying every trick in the book, blatantly. It's a horrible site. Pure emotion.

Be the Oak, not the punching bag...but first, define what the punching bag looks like to YOU.