Ego

“When a person irritates you. You must know that it is your own opinion which has irritated you." ~Epictetus

So after a few new posts, FRs, and comments I can see there are many that need to see how MPR views ego.

So I guess a discussion is needed.

To be clear a post like this was what greeted me here when I first started. I have embellished and I cannot credit the original author.

Sadly that post is lost to time, as it escapes my search fu.

Maybe someone's Monkey style is better then my Shoalin.

I don't even recall the original author. Full credit to that gentleman.

It is true there are many definitions of ego, but this isn't a spelling bee.

Sure one could just call it "lying to yourself' but it misses so much.

If unplugging guys could just stop lying to themselves then there would be no need for MRP or TRP.

The trouble is these betas are wearing rose colored glasses. They can't see any differently.

So drop the ego.

Later as you develop abundance, practice PUA skills then you can rediscover ego in it's proper context.

MRP has a foot in Stoicism. There lies yet another view of what ego we are talking about.

Have you ever thought about something so much

That you talked yourself out of it?

Or maybe you planned so well that somewhere along the way

You decided it is impossible.

Our minds take the shape of our thoughts.

Why bother?

What’s the point?

Failure is imminent.

We tell ourselves.

• This is so hard.
• The diet is rough
• I am so sore, I need a day off.
• I am not like everyone else, I can’t do it.
• My situation is different
• It’s too expensive

These things you may have heard, seen, or said.

I know I have said them.

Sometimes these things are true — but it’s a really bad starting point.

We confirm bias easily. It’s almost like we want to see the negative in life.

If we start with a negative mindset, we are going to find reasons to project it

Start with a positive mindset, e.g. "exercise is awesome.”

The change in mindset shifts any negative interaction from being a exercise/diet problem

and turns it into a “me” problem which is what we all want to avoid.

After all how can I be wrong?

in general, we have positive self views.

We think that we're smart, awesome, and gosh darn it people like us.

By and large the desire to be accepted is not bad.

What is wrong is the willingness to sacrifice ourselves for that desire.

When you seek validation from others you stop looking at your self worth

You stop becoming your own point of origin

You become reliant on others to provide that for you.

Then over time you are puffed up. You aren't wrong they are wrong,

Because you are good person, everyone tells you.

If she doesn't like it you can find someone else to validate your world view.

Consider what happens when they fail you…because they will. They are people.

when we have a positive clashing with a negative, it's too easy to blame the negative. i.e. it’s not my fault.

when we have a struggle our default position is that “this sucks and therefore exercise, dieting is too hard.”

The logical conclusion would be "this is another example of it not fitting for me or the right time"

because it can't be a “me” issue

after all I’m awesome. People like me for who I am, right?

If the same thing happens and our default position is "exercise is awesome",

the conclusion that exercise is too hard is much more difficult to reach.

It becomes more of a process to figure out what the root cause is.

When we change our mind set and seek out the positive

And we have internalized that exercise and diet are good,

then it's easier to be honest in our assessment.

it's a lot harder to default to "well, they're wrong" when we start off with an assumption that they are right.

Get rid of preconceived biases and assess things as neutrally and honestly as possible.

If I start off from the position that a exercise/diet should be X, and it’s not X,

all that does is feed my ego and that I'm right and they’re wrong.

This is 100% ego and 100% wrong.

To simply pass it off as "don't lie to yourself" misses the point.

Guys that are first coming in have no idea what a lie is and what it isn't.

They believe the feminine imperative, they are seeking validation, they only suspect that things aren't right.

Their perception needs to be adjusted, the sunglasses removed.

They are firmly rooted in their egos and self protection.

In every personal relationship where there are problems there is one common denominator.

You.

you must adopt a beginner mindset. You don't know dick. About anything.

Focus on the process not the results.. Stay dedicated to the path, external rewards are just bonus

Never let pride overcome you. Everyday remind yourself of how much work is left to do.

Find your life's mission and be ruthless in saying no to everything else.

Pursue mastery in your skills.

Leave your entitlement, your pride, and control at the door.

These things invite ego to determine that it must be done your way. The right way.

A positive mindset is the most important tool you can have in life.