TL, DR: Discovered red pill, spent six months working on things, realized that I wasn't in a sustainable situation, had an affair and got caught and now separated. But very happy.

Body:

So I discovered TRP about ten months ago after the birth of my second daughter. I have to say that it was like someone had slapped me in the face. I started reading, and NMMNG was me in a nutshell. I had the life. Two small kids, big house in the suburbs and a wife that didn't give me any sex, ever (less than half a dozen times in almost three years). Thought I was living the suburban husband dream but quickly realized that it definitely wasn't what I wanted long term.

I worked on myself and trying to right the ship. Started taking charge of things around the house, finances, organizing and dealing with kids like a champion. What I realized quickly was that my wife was threatened all the time, and just wanted a beta guy that she could control. Shit tests/comfort tests around every curve and when I tried to deal with them it only made things worse because I didn't know what I was doing. She had a medical condition that meant no sex for a while, and frankly I wasn't that attracted to her any more anyway. She was not willing to be a first mate in the slightest and I was not ready to be a captain over her.

We did counselling (yes, I know) and in our first session the counsellor questioned why we ever even got together and my only answer was that "she checked all the boxes". It was then I realized that I had to start looking at a life without her even though we had the family already. Continued to try to work on things, including induging her ridiculous notion that we needed to be more "emotionally connected" to have sex. Nothing worked. Possibly a failure on my part, but I think by then I already had the idea that it was going to end.

Decided I was going to test the waters outside the marriage and found a willing partner (also married) very quickly. The sex was mind blowing. Better than anything I ever had with my wife even at the beginning of our relationship. Got busted and when she found out what had happened she asked me to leave, which I did willingly. Here in Canada we don't have to worry about leaving the home and I just wanted out. I didn't beg, I had a plan in case it happened and I executed. I accept full responsibility for my actions and knew what I was doing.

That was six weeks ago. I've moved into a condo with my dog, have visititation three times a week with my kids and lots of plans for the future.

Here's the thing that some of you married guys may not want to hear: I'm happier. Much happier. I know my kids will be okay, they are young enough to not be really affected by what happened and will see our relationship as normal. We're separated and are being civil about everything (so far) and both have acknowledged that we are getting divorced.

I've been focusing on myself and my business and increased by 20% in a month, I'm working out five days a week and looking much better, I get home and can cook a good meal and go to bed. I have time to work on things I never had the time to before. I'm living a simple life, but that's all that I need. I sleep great at night. It's like I've discovered a whole new world. I've discovered that plating women at my age is laughably simple to the point where I don't even worry about getting sex whenever I want it.

Society would tell me that I'm a horrible person, that I've left my family and kids and should be working hard to get them back. My kids are okay. They still love me and now I have the chance to develop into an awesome person that they will look up to. I don't need a 2500 square foot house to be happy.

I'm writing this as a way to show people that if you feel trapped, you're not. You have the choice to do what you want to do. Work on righting the ship, but when you realize that the ship simply isn't one you should be on any more, make plans and go be happy. Not only for yourself but anyone else in your life. Go be awesome. You can do it and still keep the things that matter to you.

Hope it helps some of you.