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Compassion Or BS

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October 17, 2018
8 upvotes

Hey guys. I'm in an LTR right now. And I have a question and need opinions. My LTR and I have been together for 2 years.

The last few months the sex has dried up. sj It's maybe twice a month. She's miserable because of her hands (carpal tunnel). I've had surgery and I know how much the pain can cause distress.

I've upped my dread. I significantly packed on muscle. I'm always getting hit on by other girls. I've left when I don't get Sex to go to the gym or hang out with buddies. I spend a night somewhere else and she fucks with enthusiasm then I'm back to the same shit.

Today is her surgery. So she can't really use that anymore. Do you think hand pain is a valid reason to not have sex?

Should i wait this out to see how she acts post surgery, overtly give her options, or just next?


Post Information
Title Compassion Or BS
Author Musicgoon
Upvotes 8
Comments 21
Date 17 October 2018 11:16 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/203883
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/9p3paa/compassion_or_bs/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
dread gamelong term relationship
Comments

[–]Red-Nerd1311 points12 points  (7 children) | Copy

Alright man, let me share my experience in regards to a painful sex for your girl. My wife has Endometriosis, which can cause extreme pain, specifically in that area of the body. On top of that, she's also has polycystic ovarian syndrome, same issue. Used to be a huge excuse from years 2-4 of marriage.

I started to get my shit together and just forget about dwelling on my woes of un-laid-ness. Found red Pill and lurked for a while and followed the advice. Read some books, got in shape (still a work in progress), and took control of my life again.

Guess what happened, we started having sex, a lot. She rarely turns me down, anymore. There are flair ups where she says it's to painful, but that always come with a blow job/hand job offer. So, I'll take it on those occasions.

When we first got together, those things weren't an issue. When she got bored and I became unattractive, they became the whole issue. When I started getting my shit together, issue is gone again.

"Hand Pain" is just an excuse, and when the surgery is complete, she'll find another one. So you need to evaluate whether or not the situation can be improved, or if it's time to call it quits. Only you can make that decision.

[–]runnowxxx2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you for your post

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That is it, in a nutshell. Similar trajectory for me, except the excuse was stress and, for a while, body shame.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

She's miserable to you because of her hands

Do you think hand pain is a valid reason to not have sex?

Yes, with you

Do you think she would have let her hand pain hold her back from fucking you during the early passionate days of your your relationship?

Also, you said she’s magically cured when the dread is increased.

So, up the dread, and keep your foot on the gas

What type of dread are you applying other than leaving for the night? That’s called active dread, and it’s just a band-aid. Passive dread is where you will see your real long term gains.

[–]redwall923 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Passive dread is where you will see your real long term gains.

This. So much this. Hard to measure with a real measuring tape... But it's evident. It's clear. Except for those times when I'm wanting sex RIGHT NOW and things cloud my judgement. It's so crystal clear when reading and focused and framed.

And damn ... passive dread does takes time to happen. Years in the gym. Lots of reading. Lots of social work. I think most guys here were born with a Nintendo controller in their hands; we're all looking for the up,up,down,down,left,right button presses for the cheat codes. Damn sidebar (maybe the real cheat code?) takes a long time to work its way into the whole man.

[–]SepeanRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

My wife had a complicated birth requiring surgery and blew me the day after. But she’s a tough ex-athlete.

It sounds like she’s good to you when she’s healthy, so if this is a temporary thing I wouldn’t make any sort of deal out of it. If it’s chronic, she’ll obviously have to learn to function with it (read: you have to stop being a pussy).

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy

Pain is not a valid reason to avoid sex.

Hand pain? No.

Head pain? Hell no.

Full-on body pain? For fuck's sake no.

Death? Maybe. But push on through.

Tell her to butch up.

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

By the way, OP, you are a total homo.

[–]Musicgoon[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Haha! I am acting like one aren't I?

[–]threekindsoflucky2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's some mighty fine fogging.

[–]civilizedfrog0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

There was a study done a while back which found that having sex while having head ache will reduce it.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

. Do you think hand pain is a valid reason to not have sex?

Yes. For a short period. But let's be honest it is clearly an excuse. Follow the formula, you already know reduced time together improves things

[–]gettingmymojobackRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you actually have multiple plates, why do you care?

Also, it’s BS. She’s clearly not attracted to you. Won’t fuck because of carpal tunnel pain? I didn’t realize her pussy was connected to her wrist joint. That’s a strange woman you got there.

Mine is going through some serious issues as well right now....hasn’t slowed our sex life down one bit.

You’re obviously creating zero dread and have zero game.

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

in an LTR right now

been together for 2 years.

The last few months the sex has dried up. sj It's maybe twice a month.

Have you tried talking to her about it?

I'll spell it out for you because your new.

What does the T stand for in LTR?

Hint: it's not testosterone

[–]RedPillCoach0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Is hand pain a valid reason to not have sex?

What the Hell kind of question is that? Is pain a reason to lose your sexual desire? Umm, I am going with yes for $500 Alex.

If you want to save this failing relationship I would wait for at least a brief time after she is cleared to return to normal activities before you even begin the evaluation and the options/demands. If you want to dump her then pull a Newt Gingrich and drop it all on her when she is laying in her hospital bed.

[–]Redpillbrigade170 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Why are you in this relationship ?



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