Yesterday, my wife said her brother is more masculine than me. Her brother is a bum...barely holds a job, smokes weed nonstop, out of shape, no ambition, etc. I was shocked and said, really? She said mhmm. And I laughed.
This stung more than I'd like to admit. 12 hours later it's still bugging me. I try to rationalize it: is it because the jobs he manages to get are in construction? Because he goes hunting? And then I get angry and think I pay our bills. I am a good father to our baby. I have been a dedicated partner and husband. I keep our house in order. Yet this fucking skid is more masculine than me. What I heard was, he's more of a man than me. And it's frying me.
It is my "aha" moment. Realizing my wife thinks her brother is more masculine -more of a man- than me is fuel. It's made me angry, resentful, but motivated. I realize how far I have to go. I took some time away from MRP because of pregnancy and newborn. But it's clear I have no respect from my wife. The little phrase, which was said innocently enough, and probably with harmless intentions (we were joking around) has explained a lot to me. I'm struggling with it.
What was your "aha" moment?