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The aha moment

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October 8, 2018
17 upvotes

Yesterday, my wife said her brother is more masculine than me. Her brother is a bum...barely holds a job, smokes weed nonstop, out of shape, no ambition, etc. I was shocked and said, really? She said mhmm. And I laughed.

This stung more than I'd like to admit. 12 hours later it's still bugging me. I try to rationalize it: is it because the jobs he manages to get are in construction? Because he goes hunting? And then I get angry and think I pay our bills. I am a good father to our baby. I have been a dedicated partner and husband. I keep our house in order. Yet this fucking skid is more masculine than me. What I heard was, he's more of a man than me. And it's frying me.

It is my "aha" moment. Realizing my wife thinks her brother is more masculine -more of a man- than me is fuel. It's made me angry, resentful, but motivated. I realize how far I have to go. I took some time away from MRP because of pregnancy and newborn. But it's clear I have no respect from my wife. The little phrase, which was said innocently enough, and probably with harmless intentions (we were joking around) has explained a lot to me. I'm struggling with it.

What was your "aha" moment?


Post Information
Title The aha moment
Author Bencousinwater
Upvotes 17
Comments 47
Date 08 October 2018 02:15 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/203922
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/9mf7ux/the_aha_moment/
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Comments

[–]justpickanyusernameRed Beret22 points23 points  (5 children) | Copy

The fact that this is still bothering you means she is right. If you truly were masculine you wouldn’t give two shits about that comment and would have known how to make her tingle by your response or lack thereof depending on the scenario.

Good. Use it as fuel. You now know you are a faggot. What are you going to do about it? Hint: lift, sidebar, and STFU.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy

Goddamn. Good point. Faggotry confirmed.

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"18 points19 points  (3 children) | Copy

Shoot a bear, skin it, sleep in its corpse overnight to avoid the elements, carry it back home, throw it on the floor, club your wife, drag her up to bed, fuck her, run back downstairs, gnaw off some bear flesh, head to your BIL's house, punch him in the face and push him out the window, run downstairs, hop in your car, drive over his lifeless body, head back home, put on some drywall stilts and redo your living room, grab the phone and electric bills and run 'em through a paper shredder.

You win.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

This guy masculines.

[–]civilizedfrog4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

masculinity intensifies

[–]SaintJohnRakehell2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Done it. It really works!

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

The fact that you care is bad enough. The fact that you are analyzing it means you have no frame or map yet. Get on it.

And you're breaking some cardinal rules of listening to words instead of actions and giving entirely too many fucks.

I would wager... that your b.i.l. doesn't give a single fuck about much, which, if it mattered (which it doesn't) may be the only point you should take from this.

A woman saddled with a beta weak sauce could compare him to a lamp and he'll spend the next week autisting about it.

I mean really this would have been an easy ngaf a.m. /a.a. situation.

My brother is more of a man than you.

<Surprised Laugh>

"Gross, you're attracted to your brother?"

<tries to change slant>

I mean in the broader sense that he's more...

<keep laughing> "Uh, that have support groups for that. But I'm telling you, I ain't calling you 'sis' next time in bed.."

You're disgusting...absolutely not wh...

"I'm just pulling your leg. Sister." <chuckle>

And again. If you realize you're in some shit test that you find yourself caring too much about, can't a.a. successfully then walk off.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I did the surprised laugh and then asked really, but left it there. It was less of an amused laugh but more of a sarcastic laugh, so an all round fail really.

Good point...I could have definitely done some AA or AM.

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

He could also have opened with, "Ok, real talk time.... What is it that turns you on about your brother? No, really you can tell me."

hero stands in silence while staring directly at her.

[–]JudgeDoom696 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

But it's clear I have no respect from my wife

This is all you need to take from that comment.

Put your hurt feelings aside and get back to work improving yourself before it's too late.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

10-4. Starting from the bottom.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine13 points14 points  (2 children) | Copy

“The little phrase, which was said innocently enough”

Sure about that?

Have you considered it was truth hidden in plain site? A cry for help. A shot across the bow..

Basically, calling you out as a pussy in the nicest possible way. Something she could never tell you in a serious conversation.

Be glad she had the courage to “joke around” with you faggot..

Women crave an unapologetic high-value man to take them to pound town.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think you're right.

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I know he’s right.

Ask me how I know....

Wait..

Better not.

[–]Reach180Red Beret5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

What she said might ring true to RP aware men. I don't care. You should never, ever believe that what women say with their mouths. And especially don't believe what they tell you about you.

[–]RedPillCoach6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

is it because the jobs he manages to get are in construction?

Nope but it probably doesn't hurt.

Because he goes hunting?

Nope, but it probably helps.

then I get angry

Nobody cares.

I pay our bills. I am a good father to our baby. I have been a dedicated partner and husband. I keep our house in order.

None of that is "Masculine." Who told you that it was?

Yet this fucking skid is more masculine than me. What I heard was, he's more of a man than me. And it's frying me.

Nobody cares.

Your wife described a BEHAVIOR and an ATTITUDE. She is not describing how you do the dishes and pick up the house. She is describing how this guy doesn't give a fuck. He operates in his own frame. He is his own center of origin. He doesn't sit up at night saying: ""Oh, maybe I can be more masculine if I smoke weed." He decides what he wants and then he does it. He doesn't people please. He doesn't pick up the house to please his wife or make her happy. If he picks up the house he does it because HE wants it picked up, not because mommy told him to pick it up.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's a great way of framing it. Makes sense now. Meanwhile people pleasing is a major thing I'm trying get past. Thanks man.

[–]SepeanRed Beret9 points10 points  (5 children) | Copy

And then I get angry and think I pay our bills. I am a good father to our baby. I have been a dedicated partner and husband. I keep our house in order. Yet this fucking skid is more masculine than me. What I heard was, he's more of a man than me. And it's frying me.

It’s pretty fucking telling that all the stuff you mention about yourself is beta. This is for you https://therationalmale.com/2011/10/20/alpha/

[–]WesternhagenWinner2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Classic bluepill wishful thinking - "real alphas are good fathers, partners, and providers."

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Guy’s like Corey infuriate men who have invested their self-worth in the accomplishments of what they think ought to be universally appreciated and rewarded.

Rollo is talking right to me here. Thanks brother, a good reminder.

[–]SepeanRed Beret26 points27 points  (2 children) | Copy

Well, it is appreciated. Women have a dual sexual strategy, they do want beta too. But it doesn’t make them wet and they don’t reward it with sex.

Beta is like bearnaise sauce, and alpha is the steak. Steak with bearnaise is awesome. But while a steak without sauce is great too, just bearnaise sauce is disgusting.

[–]RPWolfAlpha_as_Wolf_2.06 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

OK, this explanation is great!! Get an up vote!

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That is beautiful

[–]IRunYourRiver10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy

She's obviously fucking him.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Roll tide

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Incest is best

[–]RPWolfAlpha_as_Wolf_2.08 points9 points  (6 children) | Copy

You know how man prisons have alphas in them? All of them and lots of them.

You haven't read any of the sidebar or even the suggested posts here. Do the work and your questions will be answered.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Ive read everything man. But obviously there is a difference between reading and knowing...I clearly haven't internalized this shit yet.

I thought about the alpha in prison thing last night, but it doesn't apply. He's not the "bad boy" that fits the prison alpha description. He's just a bum. I suppose it says more about me than him.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy

you're missing the main point. he is his one and only point of origin. he lives his life for him and on his terms; even if that life is shit IN YOUR MEANINGLESS OPINION

he does what he wants and gives zero fucks. that is attractive to women.

what do you want?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Excellent. I'm a lifetime placater...I've no doubts that while my wife appreciates the beta shit, provider etc...she probably finds my lack of backbone repulsive. No tingles for sure.

[–]RPWolfAlpha_as_Wolf_2.07 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

The medium is the message. You aren't wrong, she is not attracted to you. This is her overt way of calling you out and shit testing you and you are eating it hook, line and sinker.

She doesn't want to tell you directly you are a faggot and she loathes you. She wants you to "just get it".

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You're right. Thanks Wolf.

[–]RedPillCoach1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

He's just a bum.

Rework that thinking! He is a MASCULINE bum. The two are not exclusive.

You can do all you are doing and still be masculine. However, you can't do it with your attitude!

[–]IsThisNameAvailable83 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

The fact it’s bugging you is proof she’s right.

[–]DeplorableRay2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hypergamy gives no fucks about how good of a husband or how good of a father you are.

Get the fuck to work already.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Bend him over a table and fuck him in the ass in front of her. When you're done, ask her who is more masculine now.

[–]juliusstreicher0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Then, irrespective of how she answers, fuck HER in the ass. Then, make her lick your dick.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

So I’ll throw you a crying towel. Wipe away the tears.

So let’s get to it.

You lifting ?

Who gives a fuck if you are dedicated husband, father and got your shit together with the bills ?

In the grand scheme of things, shouldn’t you be good at those things ? Seriously. You actually think that shit takes masculinity ?

Hands. You rake, do chores with gloves ? Lift with gloves ? Well, fucking don’t.

You complain about work ? Bad drivers ? Stop.

You try to listen to her every word and carefully tread not to break the eggshells in a sensible, friendly don’t rock the boat manner ? Or, yah that dress looks good on you ? When in fact it looks like shit ?

Masculinity comes from deep down. Bring true to yourself and telling the truth no matter what the backlash is. It’s a no holes barred attitude of this is my life, I’m true to me, and god damn it, I’ll admit I’m wrong but fuck you if you are going to rub my nose in it type attitude

Ignore what she said and reread NMMNG, then pick up the 16 Comandments of Poon,

Get some bro friends and get the fuck out of the house a lot more.

Dread. Each step. Slowly. Ratchet it up.

Did I mention you need to lift. ??

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good shit. Blunt and to the point. Thanks brother.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yep, you should be pissed.

Doing all those things are great for comfort - and you should be doing them as a Man, but they don’t make her wet.

A poor broke dumb ass construction worker in ripped jeans with his biceps showing just happens to knock on the door to say they will be repairing the street today.. can give her the tingles^ tm .

Attraction triggers.

Asshole Game hits several of them at one time.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Too true Mr Thundercock. Thanks.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

About the hunting.

There's a reason that hunting was a rite of passage for boys to become men in most pre-industrial societies. Thes days I might sound like a psychopath when I try to explain it, but fuck it... this is the locker room.

Finding your prey takes focus and patience. It requires drive to ignore discomfort, boredom, and difficulty. If you hunt with other men, it takes cooperation in a shared mission. These are masculine traits that women, however technically accomplished, fundamentally aren't evolved for.

Have you ever had the power of life or death over another living creature? It definitely changes your perspective. Pulling the trigger, or loosing your arrow, to kill a creature is an expression of power.

Have you ever eaten something you've killed? (Fishing barely counts, especially if you count more empty beer cans than fish.) Then you can feed your clan. You can survive. There's a primal aspect to hunting.

When you go lift, the iron moves or it doesn't. "Feelings" don't come into it.

When you hunt, you eat or you don't. Again, "feelings" don't come into it.

[–]SepeanRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’m surprised how many hunters miss. They get buck fever and their nervous trembling hands can’t hold the rifle steady, or they get greedy or pressured and take a poor shot, or they just fail to learn to shoot properly to begin with.

[–]juliusstreicher1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

When you start pumping iron, if she asks or mocks you for doing it because of what she said, just say"Oh, that? I thought you were just talking dirty."

[–]IsThisNameAvailable81 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

The fact it’s bugging you is proof she’s right.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Another comment said the same thing, and you're both right.

[–]innominating0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You say you’ve read everything, so you should know that paying the bills and taking care of babies aren’t masculine things to do.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t do those things, I’m just saying you shouldn’t use those things to distinguish yourself from your brother-in-law when determining who is more masculine. Honestly you shouldn’t compare yourself to your brother-in-law at all.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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