Long time lurker, read most of the sidebar, lift: stats, 5’ 11, 175 lbs, 20 pct BF, 5 months into Stronglifts, currently at 260 SQ, 3x5, 190 Bench, 5x5, 275 DL.

Marriage is good, but it is my second one, so learning from the first one, this is preventative medicine. Our sex life is good, I have zero complaints. Literally anything I ask for she does enthusiastically, (and I am pretty out there sexually) she initiates as much as I do.

So the question. If I am for some reason given some silly excuse for not being “in the mood”, my go to response is to say “that’s fine, I am not always in the mood either, some other time” or something like that, then roll over and go to sleep. I withdraw affection as prescribed, but remain stoic. And here is the thing I am legitimately not butthurt inside. I know from experience that I am fully satisfied sexually generally in the relationship, so I have no reason to be butthurt, however, she interprets the withdraw of affection as butthurt every time. I have tried every way every how I can think of to manage to withdraw affection and not come across as butthurt and it seems to be impossible. And she calls me on it. Seems like a double bind. Anyone else struggle with this?