34 years old, Wife 33, kid 4 years old. Married 5 years, together for 7. Dead Bedroom. Discovered MRP two months ago and have started the journey of unplugging and trying to get my shit together. Lifetime Beta, part time Omega with a lot of bad habits to shed.
WARNING - this may be long but I need to start somewhere.
Background (victim puke) - I live in Europe, met my wife online, things were rosy for the first year, she moved to my country. I was besotted, sex every other day. She was hot, foreign, interesting but had some issues that I thought I could remedy.
Sex started to slow down towards the end of our second year together but I had full on oneitis at this point. I let her dictate the terms of the relationship and she walked all over me. The most sickening thing is that I was happy to let her do it.
I later found out she had been sexually abused as a child and wanted to believe her when she said that she had dealt with it through counselling.
She got pregnant in the third year, sex became a distant memory but we still got married. I was convinced the lack of sex was down to the pregnancy and couldn't possibly be anything to do with the devoted, caring husband.
Sex was still infrequent after the kid came along and I fell into a trap of covert contracts. The harder I tried the more resentful I became with the rejections. All intimacy vanished.
Went into full on drunk maybe even paralytic Captain mode. Played video games and jacked off all day, basically I let myself live in an alternative reality and became full on Omega. House was a mess, I couldn't even decide on what type of pizza to get. I was a boring recluse and bitched, blamed and complained about anyone and everything. I can see, now that I've started to unplug, what a waste of oxygen I was. My wife had no support, no leader and was crying out for me to step up. She kept asking for the "old me".
I did start making changes about a year ago and things have significantly improved, communication is better and I was only jacking off half as much, still her lack of respect was there and I didn't have the answers.
Sex hasn't happened in over two years and any initiation or attempt at intimacy on my part is met with a lengthy discussion about her child hood issues and how her feelings for me have changed.
After years full of resentment, arguments and no sex, I am finally in a place where I can see the mistakes I've made and how the blame lies with me and my inaction to start living my life. Thank you MRP.
I did take that long hard look in the mirror and no I wouldn't want to fuck that guy, hell i'm not even sure I'd even want to have a beer with him. But that is going to change. I don't know where this will take me but I am feeling better with each day that passes. It feels awesome to go to bed knowing I grabbed the day by the balls and gave it my all.
Physical - 5"10, 135lbs, scrawny and former distance runner, just started lifting. Began with 100 push ups a day and signed up to the gym three weeks ago. Managed to coerce a guy I met last week into showing me the ropes, so will post numbers once I know what the heck I'm doing.
Books - after stumbling across MRP by chance, I spent the first few weeks reading the sidebar and finished NMMNG, MMSLP and WISNIFG. Currently reading the MAP and also bought 31 days to masculinity.
I have found I can relate to the material in all the books so far, I will ensure I read the entire library again, I'm not naive enough to think I've fully digested everything.
Financial - Earning 60k SO - 50k Certainly not living the life of luxury. No significant debt (one small loan that I'm paying off) Currently renting a property. Have now taken control of the finances, despite protests. Given the wife an allowance and cut down on unnecessary outgoings. Wife is a heavy spender, had a frank talk about how her purchasing decisions were affecting the family. Have a goal to save enough money for a deposit on a property in the next two years.
Captain - Went from occasionally washing the dishes, to doing literally all the chores in the house. Planned a trip to my folks, asked for input but made all the decisions. Went out for dinner a few times, booked it and arranged the babysitter, just asked the wife if she fancied coming, she did. Felt awesome to take ownership of some stuff.
Relationship - Wife has noticed the changes I've made and appears to be getting on board. She has started to hug, kiss and cuddle which would not have happened two months ago. She allows me to initiate kissing but I have not yet initiated sex. After swallowing the pill I have started taking better care of myself and ensure I look good everyday, this has drawn compliments from a lot of people I know and my wife has caught some of the comments. She says I'm like a different person and actually broke down into tears last week saying I think that I'm better than her and she is worried I will find some one else. I think this was a comfort test so I just gave her a hug and told her that I'm in the process of improving myself. I'm still getting the hang of shit tests but even after a month they have decreased noticeably. I tend to just AA or STFU.
I've made it clear that I need a sex life and my wife says she understands but does not like the pressure. It is a little more complicated given her past but I have told her that I didn't sign up for a sexless marriage.
I will just continue down the red pill path and keep on the road to self improvement. I like my wife, she is fun, a good mother, intelligent and attractive but without the sex it's just like window shopping for a Ferrari. I might just have to go and buy myself a Rolls Royce.
Give it to me gentleman.