Need some real talk here. I've had more Main Events than I can remember. I thought somewhere between 3-5 but I think it’s probably more than that. These events are exactly as described in /u/Rian_Stone’s recent post. Namely, “if she’s throwing out snot bubbles and you’re largely indifferent”. I am indifferent. I throw in some comfort at these times like a hug or "it will be okay, I love you" or something. She thinks I resent her. It's indifference.
After witnessing (and feeling like a mere observer of) countless hysterical breakdowns, I have to wonder if I'm dealing with something exceptional here or if this is normal. Are your wives constantly melting down (in extreme ways), or is my wife unhealthily invested in the outcome of our relationship? I get the oldest teenager in the house thing, but my gut is telling me I'm dealing with an emotionally traumatized woman who can't deal with real life.
I have to wonder, because of her lack of ability to function in other aspects of real life: making friends, accepting flaws in people, dealing with normal shit that happens at a job, etc. I'm not going to sugar-coat my role in this, I've been a pretty big dick in a lot of ways over the past couple years. Said some shit I could have kept to myself, and run really high dread. I encourage her doubt I suppose, but she's always been like this. I just happened to stop catering to it and I'm fanning the flames with indifference. I don't really see an option right now that doesn't involve pandering/babying.
edit: My wife knows I messed around with other women, but this has been going on since before then.