How to handle disrespect without seeming whiny?

[deleted] · 2018-01-06T18:04:42+00:00

If a little innocuous comment like that sets you off and makes you lecture and pout, how would you react when some shit really hits the fan?

All you had to do when she said that was laugh and say "you're right...I think we could both use a really hard workout together later this evening" with a wink and maybe some light-hearted kino.

She's absolutely right that you're acting sensitive. Has this (your physical fitness) been the source of insecurity previously?

outlawrp · 2018-01-06T18:17:54+00:00

It kind of sounds like she tossed a ping pong ball at your frame (underhand) and dented it. I think this is more of a sign of your respect level for yourself than hers.

Tolerate disrespect? What is there to respect if you do not first respect yourself? What exactly is she respecting? Your inability to handle the most minor slight on what you’ve been working on for yourself? Think about it.

SiegreicherMarsch · 2018-01-07T02:07:53+00:00

Let's try some logic. If you are "top 1%", then ANY jab at your gym work ethic should be blatant sarcasm to anyone who hears it. It's like saying "I don't think he eats enough broccoli" about the guy who eats a huge bowl of broccoli for lunch every day. Therefore either you're not actually top 1% or you're just irrationally insecure.

mtdog · 2018-01-08T05:06:41+00:00

Tldr; Autist too insecure to recognize sarcasm.

straius · 2018-01-06T19:10:22+00:00

Did you guys hear something? I think there was a bee buzzing in my ear. Huh... so anyway...

BobbyPeru · 2018-01-07T01:22:10+00:00

Amused mastery is your best move here.

Then, figure out why you care so much.

Also, it depends on whether it is an isolated incident or not. If it’s a chronic daily occurrence in front of friends and relatives, you talk to her when you’re alone and have a brief chat. Then STFU, don’t engage. If you did it right, you should be able to stop her dead in her tracks with just “a look.”

pridebrah · 2018-01-07T01:17:43+00:00

inb4 soft next

She might need to soft next you, but not the other way around for that quote. She shot a spit wad at you and you reacted like it was a hollow point to your liver.

"Why are you in a mood" "I'm not" "It was just a joke, I'm sorry I didn't know you were so sensitive" "K" "Can you talk to me" "I am".

Just glancing at these I can tell you're butthurt.

The appropriate reaction here is amused mastery / picturing a 4 year old with an ice cream cone talking shit. If you're really in that good of shape then it's obvious you "do enough in the gym," so this shouldn't even be remotely offensive, let alone warrant a comment. A&A would work here as well -- "She's right, I've been thinking about hitting some 2-a-days" etc. Ignore, spin it into a joke, or deflate the comment completely with minimal (if any) effort.

You gave her exactly what she wanted, an acknowledgement and response that she can get to your ego without much effort.

40mullet · 2018-01-07T06:08:25+00:00

Stop taking steroids.

snatch_haggis · 2018-01-07T07:25:15+00:00

I've been hitting the gym 6 days a week for over a year one of my best friends who is an amateur bodybuilder too

Wow, one year and you're Mr Universe. Good on you, OP.

Top 1% in terms of body

At Curves, maybe.

BostonBrakeJob · 2018-01-06T17:23:49+00:00

Sounds like you came here seeking the validation you didn't get from gf. Good luck with that...

drjamesstone · 2018-01-06T15:56:11+00:00

My wife has said something similar and it's the perfect time for high level STFU. This is what that means

Smile, "ok" and go back to the conversation with your friend. You caring about her disrespecting you is proof positive that you care what she thinks too much.

Being alpha or rp doesn't mean 100% stone faced all the time. It means you control what impacts your frame.

screechhater · 2018-01-06T18:46:57+00:00

AM is your best diffuser here.

My wife once told me in front of the kids she wished she had married someone else because the kids would not be so hyper, I laughed and told her they would have sweaters on all the time and have the sniffles cause the guy she named was such the fag

We went back and forth and I finally shut her down with a comment to the daughter not to “marry a fag” and “the boys to not end up spineless fag men with fag children”

I let the conversation and disrespect ride until the main event. Three days of tantamount hell. I berated her with that conversation of pure disrespect especially in front of the kids. She sat there silently, crying, gushing tears. I told her that was way over the top and she could definitely keep the attitude and the joint custody would be 50/50 with that kind of incredulous shit

Then I congratulated her on winning my “proffessed no longer giving a fuck about her or the relationship” as her choice of such incredible disrespect had me a new levels of disgust and NGAF.

I held on to the disrespect and beat her over the head with it objectively. Got it ?

Using it as a weapon, I won the main event. I was very careful with delivery and timing it just so, that it was a nuclear bombshell and she could not gaslight me with it or deny it

Never call her out. Never confront, unless it’s gross until you have won the main event, then you stop the shot in its tracks. Until then you are fag fodder

Senor_Martillo · 2018-01-06T15:41:19+00:00

Fuck out of here u little 1 post troll.

Top 1% of bodies....

weakandsensitive · 2018-01-07T05:45:19+00:00

you are fucking soft. your lady should next the shit out of you.

DanG3 · 2018-01-07T23:43:38+00:00

"I don't think he does enough at the gym."

You’ve got to give her credit for being up front. She telling you that you are not fucking her hard enough. I suggest you read/re-read “The Sex God Method” and make it your goal to shatter the bed.

captainarnold · 2018-01-09T13:20:36+00:00

Honestly if you are in as good shape as you said, her comment really is laughable and if you even acknowledge it you are giving her comment credibility. If you don't act disrespected then her comment isn't disrespectful, it's just dumb in the face of obvious evidence to the contrary. Don't validate her by answering to it. If you feel disrespected, you must respect her comment in some way, see what I'm saying?

SimilarSalvation · 2018-01-06T15:58:00+00:00

Did you punch her really hard like she deserved? But like, really really hard, taking a big swing with your closed fist right on her nosey nose? I mean: How dares she, asking a question! Showing interest in your hobbies? Trying to be in the converation??

Pfieuw, you really dodged a bullet there!!!

Way the go, captain! You really showed her you are worth of her attention. You really are the prize among prizes, the fun guy to be around, mister awesome... No asshole whatsoever.

Title	How to handle disrespect without seeming whiny?
Author	BetaFucks
Upvotes	0
Comments	39
Date	January 6, 2018 3:35 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/7ojuwr/how_to_handle_disrespect_without_seeming_whiny/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/how-to-handle-disrespect-without-seeming-whiny.204985 https://theredarchive.com/post/204985

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