709,179 posts

SO swears nothing happened

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December 25, 2017
38 upvotes

So I hear a noise late last night which wakes me up and I look over and see my partner is not in bed. I creep down the stairs and I see she is on her knees in front of the fireplace, wiping her mouth. I hear this sound like a large animal or something climbing up the chimney. She looks nervously at me and says she heard the noise too and she explained she was only down on her knees so she could look up the chimney to see what the noise was. I am very suspicious about this so I ask her if she is seeing anyone. She told me after while that she has been talking to an old friend but nothing has happened.

I am red pill as fuck so I instantly suspect trickle truth, also she has something that looks like eggnog trickling down her chin!! I get really mad and she tells me that she has only seen this guy once before and it was a year ago. I ask her if anything happened and she told me that he showed her his sack, but she didn’t do anything physical, she just needed someone to talk to. I am glad I had the chance to talk to her about it and sharing my feelings with her really helped us to have a better christmas together. Anyway guys, remember AWALT and have a merry Christmas!

EDIT: I found a number on her phone so I rang and some dude answers. I asked him straight up what do you think about my girl, he doesn’t answer, so I ask again, he still says nothing, I ask him one last time then I yell down the phone “answer my fucking questions!” He says “Ho ho ho” and hangs up.


Post Information
Title SO swears nothing happened
Author 88Will88
Upvotes 38
Comments 18
Date 25 December 2017 09:56 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/205029
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/7m0oy6/so_swears_nothing_happened/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
AWALTthe red pilltrickle truth
Comments

[–]GC0W30Fat, needs discipline12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

At least you only got cucked by an old guy who has a toy company, and none of his reindeer got involved.

Merry Christmas!

[–]ddiogenesofsinope2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Loled

Happy Christmas!!

[–]dontbedenied2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

NEXT!!

Merry Christmas fellas, here's to a great 2018!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Epilogue ........

As I got older, I finally took my life back, quit wearing red and climbing down chimneys to get laid with a Ho. Ho! Ho!

...And a Very Merry Christmas to all you cucks that provided the Ho Ho Ho.

[–]DanceMonkeeDanceRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

My wife was alpha widowed by that fat guy, too. She thinks about him this time of year.... denies it, but I know.

I draw the line on her sitting on his lap.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My girl sat on his face

[–]sunthas1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

sings I saw mommy kissing blowing Santa Clause...

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If that old guy were on this sub, he'd give new meaning to the flair Hard Core Red. :)

[–]bogeyd6Mod / Red Militia1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Nice troll post. Not buying it

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Whaddya mean troll post!! That mother fucking chimney scraper railed my wife!! I loved her!! She told me she emptied his massive sack and his north pole was bigger than mine! You don’t even care. You red pill assholes will back anyone wearing a red suit! I am off to TheBluePill for a big cry with people who understand me

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

It sounds like you lost frame... you know what happened without even asking. Your choice seems to be stay and be a cuck, get some strange and move on, or leave her ass. Don’t let oneitis set in.... you have options right? You don’t need her and you don’t give a fuck right?? Stop being her bitch!

[–]throwawaynumber8566 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

You do realize that this is a satire post, right?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Nope lol you got me. Fuck!

[–]throwawaynumber8561 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I was gonna make a joke about Santa’s frame, but I was afraid the punchline would “go south.”

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Now all I can think about is his North pole and wondering is it bigger than mine

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't worry... Got me too!

I had to read it twice to pick it up.

[–]EveryGodDamnDay0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sleighing it again, Will.

[–]Narcissist4560 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I’m dead lmfaoo



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