Long time lurker, first time posting (Note: English is not my native language). Swallowed the pill about one year ago. I'm married, 40, wife is 38, one son age 12, been together 15 years and married 14. Height: 5'6" Weight: 160lb, I´m lifting for 2.5 months SL 5x5 (seeing improvements in strength and dropped BF from 26% to 23%, still a long way to go, I know !), taking good care of what I eat for about 1 month, tracking calories with an app. Read NMMNG, MMSL, WISNIFG, Rational Male years 1 to 4, the book of pook, the way of the superior man.
Background: Been completely BP all marriage, drunk captain big time, don't own my shit, all the usual problems. We work at the same company, different departments. First 3 to 4 years everything went great, then she changed to another department, sex declined to once a week and starfish, started working more hours, I started to get suspicious and found out she was cheating with her department head, never had hard evidence, but all red flags were there, she never admitted to it formally, only implicitly when I gave her an ultimatum, said "I prefer to be alone than with a cheating whore", she said nothing. But the cheating seemed to stop and she changed department again.
I have a little kid to take care, otherwise I would have divorced her. Fast forward to about 3 years ago, she and her sister got to be responsible for a new department with about 20 people, and with services outside de mais office.
(about her sister, she is one of the biggest bitches I ever seen, she complains constantly about everything, and everybody, and talks trash about me, behind my back to my wife). Almost all workers are women, except for two guys, from the beginning they started hitting on the two guys, it was a sad thing to see. When i heard my wife talking about one of them (chad) i knew i was fucked.
She tried to hide it, but it was completely clear she is crazy about Chad, she is his supervisor and would see him twice a week in the main office. The days she saw him she always dressed differently, showing more of her body, you get the picture. Red flags start popping out, like being alone with him in another company building and after getting home going to the shower, something she never done before on that day of the week (and in the middle of her cycle), etc. It´s a complete shit show, once again I don't have hard evidence, and she is a master at gaslighting, so forget confronting her and trying to get her to talk.
So I think I have two choices: 1 - do nothing and live miserably and be unhappy like I have lived for so many years. I feel a lot of anger and resentment towards her, and the only thing that keeps me here is my son. 2 - jump ship and try to live my live the way I want, do the things I cant do right now, like traveling abroad, buy a motorcycle, and many other things she would completely freak out about, (she is very obsessed about money).
I choose option number 2, and I´m thinking of doing it next summer, when school ends, and I don't have to drop and pickup my kid at school, and it wont fuck his school year.
I know that if I leave, it´s going to be a big shock for him, he already has to deal with some problems in school like bulling and a lot of envy from other kids because he gets the best grades, most of the time. It´s crazy, it´s a very small town, everyone knows each other and there is a lot of envy.
So what the fuck í´m doing here ?? You ask !! Well I would like to know if there´s anyone here with kids, that got divorced, or knows men divorced in the same situation, how did things go with the kids, they hate you / resent you for getting divorced ? Did they turn out OK, or got screwed-up because of it ?
Sorry for the long victim puke.