Just say no to the friendzone

PlusGoody · 2014-09-06T15:08:29+00:00

Sure, but:

Please, don't be a drama queen about it. What you do after getting shot down, or realizing that you definitely would be if you made a move, is just FADE OUT. No butt-hurt or self-righteous calls or emails, no big scenes, etc. When this is done correctly, she STILL thinks you are friends, just one she hasn't caught up with. She will hamster that situation perfectly fine, and you won't be investing any emotional or tangible reasons. The coolest thing about this is that if you do a fade out, and then she gets winds that you have a girlfriend or have done something else to up your real or perceived status, you leave the door open for her to come beating down your door. This can NEVER happen once you've gone the butt-hurt / drama queen route, as this reveals you to be as unattractive as mathematically possible.

--and--

Don't be afraid to have actual women friends not corrupted by friendzone. Some of them can even be cute. Some women you can't fuck are still cool to hang with, or do cool things, or have cool things to offer you. This is easier when you're in a LTR yourself, but it's not like it can't work if you don't.

CrusherTheMutilator · 2014-09-06T17:39:29+00:00

Friendzone per se is just a symptom caused by oneitis. For me, one of the best things about taking the red pill was realising and treating oneitis/"love" as a disease. There's nothing "special" about this or that girl. It's just male hamster running wild, imagining stuff about her that isn't there. It makes me sad to think how much time and opportunities I've wasted because of this. No more.

As always, therationalmale puts it best:

[...]most guys subscribe to what I call the Sniper mentality. This is the AFC that applies all of his time, effort and resources to patiently waiting out his target, waiting for that perfect opportunity to summon enough courage in the most precise of conditions to take his one shot at the girl, who by then is the focus of his ONEitis. This process can take anywhere from a few weeks to a few years in extreme cases, but all the while he voluntarily sacrifices his most valuable of resource – potential opportunity. The man who subscribes to Plate Theory can more easily avoid this situation as he goes hunting for women with a Shotgun; scattering as much influence across the broadest area possible.

laere · 2014-09-06T14:15:09+00:00

It can take some time for guys to get themselves out of that habit.

I spent a decent chunk of high school like this. It was more oneitis than anything, and while I had other girlfriends throughout, I was completely into this one and only chick.

So, thinking that being her good friend would get me closer to her, I practically became her personal slave. Carting her to school all the time, giving her rides to friends houses and parties and shit. Even took her to homecoming one year only to have another guy dance with her. And even after this total bitch move, I still pined for her, it was fucking pathetic.

It makes me cringe to think that's the kind of guy I was as a teenager, but it was just another step to who I am now. I got over it once we graduated and I saw her for what she really was...a cheap slut that snorted crushed vicodins and would fuck literally any guy that waved a Norco or Oxy in her face.

It's hilarious to me now she's a microbiologist for a very reputable laboratory. She dated a friend of mine for years and he told me once she graduated college, then all of a sudden she was too fucking good for anybody.

Sorry, got off topic here. Moral of the story however is NEVER be any woman's little purse dog. She'll take advantage of you and laugh at you while she gets double-teamed by every guy that whips their cock in their face. And when she reaches a point in her life where she feels like she accomplished something, she'll act like her shit doesn't stink and do her damnedest to hope her friends forget what a slut she was for years and years.

If you wanna fuck her, and she doesn't want to, then she officially has become a waste of your time and effort.

DistanceSkater · 2014-09-06T15:42:12+00:00

The problem with the friend zone is that it very rarely even exists. Most are in the "Ugh, not this guy again" zone

Flaye2 · 2014-09-06T15:01:16+00:00

It's the worst place to be in.

It's a place where you only want sex, she wants everything but sex. The difference is she gets what she wants and you get nothing. And you'll still be the bad guy because you were wanting sex.

Why would anyone want to be in that position? Especially when it takes an easy "no" to get out of.

Blake55 · 2014-09-06T13:38:45+00:00

If someone is used to walking in puddles, it's a hard habit to break. I spent about 2 years of my undergrad in puddles I had walked right into before I realised it was my actions/inactions that got me there.

kempff · 2014-09-06T17:34:53+00:00

A simplistic as it may sound, the easiest way out of the friendzone is to stop acting like a friend.

CaniborrowafeeIing · 2014-09-06T20:02:35+00:00

If there is something ive learned from real life experiences, it is that some women simply dont KNOW what guys goes through when they have accepted the "friend" deal.

Lots of women geniuely think its an okay way of passing down interest from male affection. From their point of view they see nothing wrong because "he said yes to be friends, therefor he just sees me as a friend too right?"

Newsflash, youre not her friend. Youre just an orbiting attention that can validate them when they need or be used as an emotional dumpster.

The sad part tbh is not that they think its okay, often theyve been raised with it, no the sad part is that men accept this when they know deep down its not what they wanted.

This is where TRP helps you with understanding the rules of the game.

Once i read all the sidepanel material, i moved out of the anger phase.

Women just cant help how they are deep down biologically but men need to take back the alpha nature that society today is trying so hard to remove.

scubar · 2014-09-06T20:32:23+00:00

I wish I could have seen this a while ago. The only way you can have a girl as a friend is if you absolutely, positively DO NOT want to fuck her or if your able to get sex as an add-on benefit.

philipzimbardo · 2014-09-06T18:29:36+00:00

Tosh nailed it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xd53zAk6low#t=399

sumdumguy-throwaway · 2014-09-07T13:04:50+00:00

I'd rather be a "creepy guy" who gets rejected upfront than be some girl's gay best friend.

minor point - women don't view guys who are up front and direct as "creepy"

PenisJoekes · 2014-09-07T04:24:05+00:00

" I don't ovulate, I just want to penetrate"

Ahahaha, awesome motto.

Ehcadroj · 2014-09-07T13:18:42+00:00

If a man friend zones a woman first, she's a fuck buddy; or at least the option of sex remains on the table (though legitimate friendships are possible if they're not your type or you've shared some significant life-experience w them). If a woman friend zones a man first, he is a co-worker and she is married.

If your behaviour is anything outside of that dichotomy, you, as a man, are being used.

trudatness · 2014-09-06T23:29:44+00:00

This should be filed under Hello Captain Obvious

Its unbelievable how many dudes stupidly let themselves get sucked into the FZ.

Diddlydangerous · 2014-09-06T22:03:23+00:00

I think it comes down to time and priorities. Friend-zoned men have an excess of the former and a lack of the latter. The term comes from the show Friends which re-engineered social perception as shows are designed to to. Made a lot of men goofy and encouraged them to hang out with women and act like children, beta-fying the fuck out of them. To get out of the friendzone first you have to tie up your assets (time and money) in activities which literally prevent you from being able to have the luxury of socializing much at all, especially with a member of the opposite sex. Second, throw off the yoke of acculturation and social conditioning by saying, "I have a dick. That's fine. It's great, actually. Additionally, I determine the nature of my relationships with women at all times, in all cases. I can have the 'define the relationship' talk at any point, even way before I think it has become a problem, or later on down the line, wherever I am at now. As the captain of my life, anything less than that is absurd."

I do think once you've allocated all your resources toward something other than a chimeric vulva, you can have platonic relationships with girls based on the principle that you really won't have much time or money to share with them, maybe a cup of coffee once a month at the most. There's a reason why women love the idea of striving to get the attention of a man with a terrible drug habit, or any obsession of that scale.

monsieurhire2 · 2014-09-07T01:11:25+00:00

Friend-zoning chicks is the best! It adds to apparent SMV because women see you with other women and subconsciously wonder or think one or more is your GF. If a girl friend-zones you, friend-zone her right back, as if you had already friend-zoned her. Then move on to find women who are attracted to you.

[deleted] · 2014-09-07T04:11:50+00:00

It's always good to have a lot of female friends cause other bitches that wanna bang you think you are sleeping with those girls who friendzoned you.

Starting_over_IRL · 2014-09-07T06:24:29+00:00

i have a girl i hang out with all the time ( tonight for example) she is smoking hot, rides a motorcycle, and we always get food and drinks. ( split tab, not on me.) i enjoy her company so much and bond with her so much i wouldnt even want to try and get with her. she is the pinnacle point that connects all my other friends as i met them through her. all my best male friends are through her. you either get married with a girl or you break up and i dont really feel like dealing with that shit.

its ok and encouraged to have a hot friend that you can just be relaxed with. and the plus side is girls always want guys that hang out with hot girls.

teeay · 2014-09-07T00:10:10+00:00

Just say no to female friends in general.

Soulcrux · 2014-09-07T06:37:50+00:00

You sound like a very closeted gay man. You seem to be obsessed over "gay activities" and how you "WILL NOT DO THEM", and your description of sex with women is very synthetic, almost robotic.

Strongproudwoman · 2014-09-06T19:27:16+00:00

A month ago I got a text from a girl I used to work with.

Her: hey! I liked it when we talked to each other.

Me: been busy, what's up?

Her: nothing much you?

Me: send me a pic, I forget what you look like.

sends pic

Me: dress like that and come over

Her: haha ya right.

Me: so seriously I'll fuck you this weekend

Her: we're not that type of friends

Me: who said we were friends?

Her: oh, I don't know what to say...

Then I went no contact and deleted the convo. I wish I screen capped it for better proof.

Title	Just say no to the friendzone
Author	kanaduhisfruityeh
Upvotes	159
Comments	59
Date	September 6, 2014 1:20 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2fmvug/just_say_no_to_the_friendzone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/just-say-no-to-the-friendzone.20617 https://theredarchive.com/post/20617

Comments