664,807 posts

Well the bomb dropped.

by Dc4red | March 16, 2017 | askMRP

27 upvotes

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Well guys,

I have been on my red pill journey for about 4 months, and can honestly say its improved every facet of my life.

Yesterday my long term SO(5 years, bought a home 1.5 years ago) came home from a short business trip and told me she cheated and it was the second time. I wasn't shocked as Monday night she was no contact which is very un-common for her.

First time was a year ago, at the same event with the same guy and at the time i was a huge faggot(fairly fit, run a business, zero frame, no drive or vision.). Since going RP my relationship was improving steadily and i thought we where both happier people.

She did it again Monday night and came clean Tuesday(told me about both times then) when she got home, said she wants to be honest as she want our relationship back and she will do anything. (just words.)

I feel as though you guys have prepared me for this moment and i held frame better than I ever have in my life while she was a mess, and just took the information and left.

Last night i returned home around Midnight and she was still up crying and i chose to sleep in the guest room. She again said "Ill do anything to fix this, and if i could take it back i would."

This is just a thank you for helping me be ready for the enviable, and handle it with grace. I told her late lastnight that she can keep trying in the relationship but i have no plan too. But if im going to cheat i would tell her first, but I plan to list the house on the market in 30 days(im a realtor). Get it sold and start my life over with nothing but dignity.


Post Information
Title Well the bomb dropped.
Author Dc4red
Upvotes 27
Comments 47
Date 16 March 2017 10:26 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/206401
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/5ztskv/well_the_bomb_dropped/
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Comments

[–]more_load_comments22 points23 points  (1 child) | Copy

So selfish, first to do it, then to admit it. Both actions only made her feel better. Sad.

Stay strong, get out. Or stay and live with thinking about this shit every day, every time you fuck her. No way to live, trust me.

[–]weakandsensitive4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

+1 on this entire post.

Every man on MRP should be in a position where they're getting better every single day. That includes getting rid of trash, whether that's a cheating SO or the faggot you were in the past.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you stay, you are forever her beta that she will shit on again and again. She is begging you to end it.

Some women just can't kill the puppy and want to force you to do it.

I think getting shit on by her cheating is a harder pill to swallow than getting rid of her. Get over your ego, ignore her lies (that she believes) and take care of you. First and last; take care of you.

[–]abdadaRed Beret12 points13 points  (5 children) | Copy

Get a lawyer. Immediately. Don't assume you can sell the house if she's on the title

[–]Dc4red[S] 6 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy

Yeah ive already reached out to one, she said she is fine with just selling it as we have very little equity.. BUT I HAVE NOT SEEN HER DEMON YET.

[–]abdadaRed Beret6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

Get it in writing. Sellers contract.

[–]Dc4red[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yep, thats the plan.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

You can get a Quit Claim Deed Form in most places. While she is on the ropes, have her sign it in front of a notary.... assuming it is allowed where you live. With that you can sell the house without her signature, in most places.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wait a minute, first, your SO says let's fix it; now says she's fine with selling the house (meaning she realizes its over between you two)?

Which is it? Get her to nail down her position. Or at least you nail it down for her: "It's over, we're done, we're selling the house".

[–]Realworld525 points6 points  (8 children) | Copy

Well done, move on. People treat you how you allow yourself to be treated. Don't go back . Ever

[–]Dc4red[S] 3 points4 points  (7 children) | Copy

After a lot of reflection, i understand this is all my fault. Until i got the course curriculum here I have been terrible at setting/enforcing boundarys. But now i know where to try and grow.

[–]Realworld529 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is not all your fault.

[–]weakandsensitive5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's not your fault that she fucks other guys.

It is your fault that you allowed yourself to be in a position where that would seem like an attractive option.

In any case, get on tinder and start slaying. The next few months should be fun. The first rule of modern dating is Always Be Closing. Drink coffee in the morning. Your time is to valuable to waste on bullshit that you have no interest in.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

It's not your fault if she fucks other guys. That is only the case in chick-flick movies

[–]AmericanViking645 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

I've had a pastor/counselor tell me its my fault. Basically laid out a step by step plan to keep my wife from having to own her mistake.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Take your own council -and ours ;)

[–]AmericanViking640 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Indeed. We all go through the anger phase,. One of the most infuriating realizations was just how thoroughly, just how calculating, menacing and ultimately instrumental the church and Christianity was in keeping me down. I still work for the counselor's son. Both guys are really cool and down to earth, just really confused.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not your fault. Just get in shape, dress smart, start some online dating. The world is your oyster. Go to strip clubs with your boys, get out there and have fun. My first few months after my marriage broke down were a blur of parties and hot pussy, enjoy!!

[–]creating_my_life6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

Two thoughts come to mind.

First, leverage her guilt and her desire to repair things SO THAT YOU GET OUT OF THE SHARED HOUSE SITUATION. She feels guilty and will do what she can. You're a realtor, so focus on that first. Quit Claim? Sell? Limited Power of Attorney? You gotta play the game a little bit until that fucker is sold and you're DONE.

Then you just next her hard. My fear is that as soon as she realizes that she can't win you back, she's going to turn into a major bitch and make things difficult for you. Obviously you don't want that.

Second, and I haven't read in the comments above, but in the AF/BB paradigm, were you here BB? Does she not like seeing the changes in you now? Or is there something else going on? Not that it really matters, but something to think about. Maybe you were always her BB.

[–]Dc4red[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

When we first started dating, was closer to chad than BB. But over years she wore me down and it took her losing interest for me to find this place. Just too little to late.

[–]creating_my_life2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

That mirrors my story. We never go to divorce or cheating (I'm still married), and I found TRP/MRP just in time.

Marriage itself wears down a man into a supplicating beta. If my marriage were to end, I don't think I would ever go down that path again. All risk, little reward.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Pretty Standard. PFP talks about it extensively.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Sounds like you got lucky. She probably told you because she's wanted the relationship to be over for a long time. Enjoy your new found freedom.

[–]Griever11412 points13 points  (2 children) | Copy

Next, that ship is disease ridden with fucking plague rats.

Personally, i have different morals than some of the people here who would take back a cheating spouse.

Once the ink well is tainted by another cock.. bitch is fucking dead to me and is tainted meat.

Get a lawyer (dont tell her), play it cool, and take the bitch to courts.

Use the search bar here regarding how to handle a divorce... there is some quality posts.

[–]Dc4red[S] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

No divorce needed, just need to get out from a house we both own.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Use the lawyer to make sure the house is sold cleanly and all loose ends are tied off between you and your soon to be ex SO. Leave nothing to chance.

[–]resolutions3165 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Kudos for handling it as well as you have. That can't have been easy at all, even with all your work.

As people always say here - none of that work was wasted, because now you can move on to better things if that's what you choose.

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill5 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy

A couple of things. Women unburden themselves not out of fear but out of guilt. So while her words are "I'll do anything to keep you" you need to ask yourself why she felt necessary to tell you when the easiest solution was to lie. Beware of trickle truth on this one.

There is a myriad of things I could tell you on how to black Knight this one, but without the liability of divorce hanging over you I think it's probably overkill here. The key is keep her guilt as a tool to get yourself a favorable out.

Do not Fuck her. I say again, do not Fuck her. Tell her some sham like she needs to get an STD test and you need to think until then.

The key is let her think there's an inkling of a chance until you're certain you can get what you want.

[–]mrpthrowa1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

without the liability of divorce hanging over you I think it's probably overkill

go on...

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

You want the black knight full version?

[–]mrpthrowa2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

with citations and all the appendices.

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Black Knight version:

Tell her you'll take her back with certain conditions. First, she must call the guy in front of him, and announce she will no longer ever contact him again (say he's a colleague). She must give up all passwords and the like. Monitoring is to be expected. She must confess her transgression to her parents and OP's. Tell her she has a 6 month window to improve herself, what ever. If the OP was married I'd get a divorce agreement written and executed with the express purpose that, "We can undo it if she behaves". Have her get an STD test, and tell her you need to think about any kind of sex with her. You may need her to exit the residence for divorce cohabitation rules, etc. If sex annuls a separation agreement, keep that off the table. Personally I would fuck her if I could, mainly because it could end in some crazy fucking emotional sex (E, I in the DEVI quotient) but I'd at least have some side pieces, and wrap that shit up because "STD tests aren't resolved for at least 6 months). The goal is she's in your life because you have to have her for legal reasons, so make her serve a purpose that meets your end goals, a highly favorable divorce, and sexual release (if possible).

That would work short term, with the objective for her to sign off on her own divorce enthusiastically.

In the long haul, once you hit the divorce mark, keep her on the string if it requires no effort. If you're frame is strong enough, make her a plate. Fuck other women in your house while she tries to get back into your house, fuck her on the side, whatever. This can get messy because of course she may go crazy and Lorena Bobbit your ass, but we've had a few posters who plated their exwife with success. It takes a man of truly iron frame to pull this off, and not waste time maintaining the relationship.

[–]AmericanViking642 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

If I came here to be called a Faggot, I stayed to learn the ways of the BBK.

[–]drty_prRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thats a shitty go man. Consider yourself fortunate that she had the decency to tell you. Otherwise you would be the same as the rest of the guys in the world with a cheating wife who will never know.

With that said, next her ass man. Don't be a fool. She likes the shell of the life you provide her, but not the guts of it. That's why she is catching stray.

You said you don't have alot of equity, so it should go over fairly smooth. Lawyer up obviously and make sure you don't get fucked.

The rest of your life starts today. Wake up with a solid frame everyday and kill it bro. The world is your bitch now, so fuck it good!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Talk to the bank, know their policies on this

Get an arbitrator at. Minimum, lawyer at hest.

Dont tell her what yoire doing, just say you want to, but need time to process this. Play wounded etc. If she thinks the jig is up, she can play for blood

Hows your fuck you fund?

[–]Dc4red[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

It exists but not as padded as I would like, ill be alright i have a great support system.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Either way, should have told her whats going on like she told you about the dick. After its too late and sounding like you have remorse.

I wouldnt be surprised if this was her way of asking you to break up with her, but still...

[–]weakandsensitive2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

SPT is right. At this point, you should be playing to win. If that's playing dirty - do it. It didn't stop Belichick.

/u/UEMcGill has basically laid out a roadmap for you. You'd be retarded not to take it.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Wow definitely divorce her

You can do better than that (and I don't even know you)

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thats a goal, not a strategy

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good on you buddy. Some advice, keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer. Can your feelings the best you can. Become her friend and fake it like mad. Put on your best smile, tell her "we had a great run and now we can end this as friends". Keep her close and speed through the settlement. Avoid lawyers except for in a crisis (I am a lawyer, sure we want a good outcome for our clients, but first, we want to get PAID), if you see lawyers she will. Just tell her you want to be fair and negotiate a fair settlement. Keep the smile painted on. Then the day you get the settlement locked in, you can do as you wish. Sorry to hear about it, happens to the best of us.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I told her late lastnight that she can keep trying in the relationship but i have no plan too. But if im going to cheat i would tell her first

This sounds like you're not dropping her where she stands and that your going to let this linger.

[–]Dc4red[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Until we can sell the house i dont have alot of choices but to put up with her, i will intermittently disappear to friends/familys places but fuck if im going to let that her kick me out of my own house.

[–]innominating2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's fine. Kick her out.

[–]TaistoKarhu0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Wow take care man. Did you drill it out of her or did she just come clean on herself? Personally, I always thought people make mistakes and thats how it is.

Its still a hard next obviously because of the gravity of the mistake and fact that you can never go back from that situation. But to have the guts to come clean, very few women I know has that. Men either. There's always some excuse.

By the norm, you should been stuck 1-3 years in mrp while she's fucking Chad(s) every chance possible and you just cant get the relaionship to work no matter how awesome you get, until she sets herself up to be caught because she cant bring herself to admit it. THAT blows way more IMO.

Well there's good times ahead of you and you know it!

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I would shame the living fuck out of her first.

Call the guy in front of you and break it off (her)

Tell parents in front of you (hers)

Get STD check before touching her or for your decisions to "Make it work" then drop the cunt.



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