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"I feel ..." is a secret decoder ring.

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February 21, 2017
9 upvotes

I've started to recognize shit tests which had kept me from proceeding through the stages of dread as confidently as I should and had hindered my ability to swallow the Red Pill. My wife is simply far too polite and far too much of a ninja to use the language that is commonly found here.

I notice any complaint from my wife that begins with "I feel ..." always precedes a shit test. It is a overt verbal cue that she is about to explain to me one of her needs, and that I am not meeting it (or it is not being met otherwise and she would like me to meet it).

I have been successfully able to turn around these tests by asking her to explain why she FEELS this way and listen to her explanation and getting a much deeper and more fundamental understanding of the complaint. This is useful because it allows you to:

  • brace for impact. Decide weather to STFU or move to a more advances response.
  • touches her FEELS by allowing her to voice her complaints. This is nothing less than emotional masturbation.
  • potentially solve a critical thinking problem for her. This is extremely attractive to a woman.

Another use for this is to turn it on yourself. If you are ever explaining anything and you use the word "feels" you know you found something that keys into your resistance to stoicism and a true IDGAF attitude. Use it to search yourself for potential character flaws or other areas for personal growth.

Obviously you can use it on other people besides your wife or yourself.

*edited for formatting


Post Information
Title "I feel ..." is a secret decoder ring.
Author AmericanViking64
Upvotes 9
Comments 26
Date 21 February 2017 03:06 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/206492
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/5v96iw/i_feel_is_a_secret_decoder_ring/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
dread gameshit testthe red pill
Comments

[–]Blunter-S-Thompson9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

HAHAHAHA

potentially solve a critical thinking problem for her. This is extremely attractive to a woman.

Go back to 101 stuff if you are still under the belief women want you to solve their problems....

Remember, it's not about the nail.

[–]Sklavenmoral1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I hadn't seen that video. It's perfect. hahaha

[–]sexyshoulderdevil75% Liquid Sarcasm2 points3 points  (8 children) | Copy

Ah, your Red Pill Ninja is sneaking up on your ass and delivering comfort tests...not really shit tests. When your Ninja says, "I feel like..." and she's expressing her emotions, she wants you to listen, fog and sometimes offer real advice. Or just give her a kiss on the forehead and a hug once she's done.

When she says "YOU do this..." and it's some random silly bullshit...that's a shit test. Then you lock and load some agree and amplify if you know how.

Since you asked (I know you didn't), I consider myself a Red Pill Penis Robot.

Oh and you're wife isn't special. She's doing the same exact shit all secretly trained Ninja wives do. You're not special either. My robot penis is not special. Get this through your head. Especially the part about visualizing my robot penis. ROBOT PENIS.

[–]sh0ckley3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Exactly.

I feel = comfort test You always = shit test

Pretty basic and once internalized requires little thought. It just happens.

[–]AmericanViking64[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I like the way you broke this down. Anything more complicated usually goes out the window because I get too agitated by trying to interpret complex emotional responses and interpersonal relationships. This is something I can use.

[–]sh0ckley1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Passing comfort tests (when they start coming after some improvement) is every bit as important as passing shit tests.

A real mindfuck for me was seeing how my behavior in some cases could be the same as before I improved, but because my mindset was different [Frame] the result was alpha provider and not beta chump.

For example: cooking dinner.

Before: do you like it honey? I want you to think I'm a good man like Pussy McFaggot.

After: do you like it honey? I have an awesome life that I share with you and want objective feedback on how to make the best possible food like Fearless McLeader, because my ego is no longer cock blocking me.

[–]A_RexRED KNIGHT3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

100% this. Friday night, I got the "I feel like you're only using me for sex" after a barrage of shit tests. I passed the shit tests, but had to STFU here because I didn't know if this was comfort test or shit test. I let her go upstairs by herself to get ready for bed, but went up after her to "get something" from the bedroom, and gave her a bear hug. Then I told her she could come downstairs and hang out with me for an hour (instead of me reading Meditations). She did, and we end up fucking later.

When women say "I feel like you're only using me for sex", it's a comfort test. She's really feels that way. Whenever she says I feel, listen and mentally fill in the gap with what she isn't saying, which in my case was "Rex, I'm getting afraid that you don't like/love me as a person anymore". The reassuring Bear hug goes miles for this.

[–]RBuddDwyerRed Beret2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Especially the part about visualizing my robot penis. ROBOT PENIS.

Can you nail a six inch spike through a board with your ROBOT PENIS?

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Hammer later.

[–]RBuddDwyerRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

A girl's gotta have her standards.

P.S.: Holy shit, Val Kilmer actually has a good flash of game in that clip.

[–]sexyshoulderdevil75% Liquid Sarcasm1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

He's doing amused mastery that entire film, if I recall. I watched that movie a ton as a kid. I'm pretty sure I'm a sarcastic pain in the ass in part because of it.

[–]RBuddDwyerRed Beret1 point2 points  (11 children) | Copy

Yeah, "I feel..." is a common verbal filler for most all women. It's a reflection of the fact that they are primarily emotional thinkers, although it's seeing more use recently as a stand in for, "I think..." or, "I believe..." by men as well.

That is usually not how a woman starts a shit test. It actually is one of the few times when you can take a woman's words at face value. She very likely is feeling whatever it is she says she is feeling, but will very likely be feeling some other random unrelated emotion soon after. These are not shit tests. Or rather the fact that she says "I feel..." is not a shit test in and of itself. That's not what makes a shit test a shit test.

It is a overt verbal cue that she is about to explain to me one of her needs, and that I am not meeting it (or it is not being met otherwise and she would like me to meet it).

You got this part mostly right. She is explaining to you how she feels because she (usually subconsciously) wants you to make her feel something else, either because it is a bad emotion she is feeling, or because she is bored and wants to mix it up a bit and feel something different. So this becomes a perfect opportunity for you to express your dominion over her and lead her to a different emotional state.

One other thing is that a woman will almost never give you an overt verbal cue like that for anything, let alone the primary weapon in her arsenal. Women are much more devious than that.

have been successfully able to turn around these tests by asking her to explain why she FEELS this way and listen to her explanation and getting a much deeper and more fundamental understanding of the complaint.

So, you are her emotional tampon. Good move, bro...

If you are ever explaining anything and you use the word "feels" you know you found something that keys into your resistance to stoicism and a true IDGAF attitude. Use it to search yourself for potential character flaws or other areas for personal growth.

Yeah, I don't think you know how Stoicism works. Men feel emotions all the time. Stoicism does not prevent that. Stoicism makes it so that you are not governed by them like women are.

About the only thing that I agree with you on is that a man should rarely, if ever, start a sentence with the phrase, "I feel..." Men think and men do. How one feels about something is hardly, if ever, relevant.

[–]Blunter-S-Thompson-1 points0 points  (10 children) | Copy

Yeah, I don't think you know how Stoicism works. Men feel emotions all the time. Stoicism does not prevent that. Stoicism makes it so that you are not governed by them like women are.

According to the Stoics, the ideal agent has no emotions. Stoic theory of the emotions does not aim at moderation or “adequate” emotional responses. Rather, it aims at a life without emotions.

However, the Stoics do not suggest that the perfect agent is effectively inert. Rational effective reactions and dispositions replace emotion. The ideal agent has “good feelings” of wishing (which replaces desire), caution (which replaces fear), and joy (which replaces pleasure).

Further, the ideal agent has proto-emotions, that is, initial effective and physiological reactions that do not depend on assent.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret2 points3 points  (9 children) | Copy

Stoic theory of the emotions does not aim at moderation or “adequate” emotional responses. Rather, it aims at a life without emotions

huh?

No. Stoics aim to not be controlled by NEGATIVE emotions.

Stoics feel emotion. It's natural. we should not allow them to control and cloud our actions.

[–]RBuddDwyerRed Beret0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy

Stoics aim to not be controlled by NEGATIVE emotions.

Or by positive ones either. You don't want to get on the hedonistic treadmill of chasing positive emotions either. Stoics effectively say that you should enjoy positive emotions with the understanding that they are fleeting, and not to come to rely on them.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy

true enough, but you should not exist without emotion.

The stoics looked at it logicaly and considered the there are two aspects of emotion. The physical response to it. Like sweating, smiling, feeling flush...etc. And then there's reacting to it those physical manifestations.

One you can't control. Your physical response, though I'd argue you can lessen them with time and practice.

The second you can control. How you respond.

Some of the stoics say the ideal model (Seneca for instance) is without emotion, but it is even he admits that it's hardly achievable. Another example of focusing on the process over focusing on the goal.

[–]RBuddDwyerRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I completely agree with both your comments. I just wanted to clarify that Stoics also did not want to get too tied up with positive emotions either. They were not Epicureans, after all.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Very true.

The emphasis on my part is due to the Stoic writers I mainly read. they emphasis work on the negative emotions. This isn't to say they allow the positive ones to override either.

The Stoics were not a homogenous group of philosophers as some think. Each had a slightly different take, but were not wholly in disagreement. Except for one. I can't recall his name right now.

[–]Blunter-S-Thompson0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Your words...

true enough, but you should not exist without emotion.

My words...

However, the Stoics do not suggest that the perfect agent is effectively inert.

Your words...

One you can't control. Your physical response, though I'd argue you can lessen them with time and practice. The second you can control. How you respond.

My words...

Rational effective reactions and dispositions replace emotion.

You say tomato, I say tomato?

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Possibly. Clearly I didn't understand what you wrote.

As my drill sergeant used to say.

Your fault. My mistake.

[–]RBuddDwyerRed Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

That is exactly how it happened.

[–]Blunter-S-Thompson0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Please tell me you didn't have to shit out any Tiffany cuff links.

[–]2ndalRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My wife says "I feel..." a lot. Depending on her tone, I handle it either by A&A if it feels like a budding shit test (my favorite tactic is to grab her arm, feel, and squeeze, saying yeah you DO feel like...) or by negative inquiry if it feels more like a comfort test, making sure not to take ownership of her feelings or solve her problems, but lead her down the path of working through her feelings out loud which invariably gets her out of her funk in a more rational way without it turning into a full blown shit test.

[–]anythingincRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I feel...

Hmm. I would say that women (and men), start using "I feel..." more after reading a few marriage problem sites and "How to Communicate Effectively in your Marriage" columns. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? It is either a woman wanting to be more versed in subtle domination/control/gaslighting....or someone who is really trying to make a good-faith effort towards good interpersonal communication. "I feel" is at the top of every list. Not exactly common otherwise in everyday vernacular.

My divorce was mutual, fast, and easy, but I am in a fault state; she had to say something, not too bad, but nothing the judge would balk at. We thought for a long time, but as of the morning of D-day, she didn't have anything. In the judges office, when he asked her, this is what she said:

He never validated my feelings. Whenever I would say "I feel" something, he tries to logic it away, or fix it, or pretend it doesn't matter and shouldn't be bothering me...and by doing that he is disregarding my feelings, and I can't live with someone who does that, it is mean and makes me feel worthless

Judge said okay, signed the papers, last time we saw or spoke to each other. Now, that may be some bullshit..or it may be the realest shit that has ever been said about me, doesn't matter, I'm not that person anymore.

Anyway, the point I (and every other poster) want to make is be careful about treating this as standard shit-test stuff to shut down.

Budd has a good take:

She is explaining to you how she feels because she (usually subconsciously) wants you to make her feel something else

But the catch-22, is I was worthless, lots of us are/were worthless, these "I feels" are often about OUR shortcomings...it is difficult to make her "feel something else" when what she is feeling is something negative about YOU, and she's looking AT YOU, and YOU are trying to (yet again?) pull some bullshit to get the heat off YOU. "Feeling something else" would involve YOU being either gone, or better. Hop. Skip. Jump. Divorce.

Now, if you two are just having a normal conversation and "I feel" comes out then whatever, it is a part of speech.

But when it is about complaints, you, her, household, existential shit...the best bet is to NOT be that guy!

Don't be worthless, don't be a beta bitch, don't be an emotional tampon, don't be her child, don't be responsible for her feelings...but right now, when we start MRP...SO many of us are. We ARE that guy. We have to become attractive, become valuable, own our shit, build a frame, get her inside, and then, hopefully, we won't be that guy anymore. "I feel" will just be a code word for "come hold me and kiss me."

In conclusion, instead of discussing how to handle "I feel," the best case scenario is to just not be the guy she says it to. What to do in the mean time? Whatever, handle it, get out of the situation as gracefully as you can and go own shit and add value and become more attractive. Hope it is not a sign she's been reading marriage advice sites and you have time to improve.

The last year of my marriage, I got hit with "I feel" three times a week. I can't remember a specific time with NewGirl except her expressing positive emotions about me/her/us, often in bed, often with cum dripping out of her. Because I own my shit, I'm attractive, I'm not unattractive, all her feels are either good feels, or softballs she lobbing at me to knock out of the park with a kiss and a hug. I hope someday you get to be that guy, it's pretty nice.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"I have been successfully able to turn around these tests by asking her to explain why she FEELS this way and listen to her explanation and getting a much deeper and more fundamental understanding of the complaint. This is useful because it allows you to: brace for impact. Decide weather to STFU or move to a more advances response. touches her FEELS by allowing her to voice her complaints. This is nothing less than emotional masturbation. potentially solve a critical thinking problem for her. This is extremely attractive to a woman."

When a woman states, I feel- it's direct insight to an uncomfortable feeling of hers, a premonition of sorts, that there is something wrong and therefore instead of "mindfucking it to death" or STFU, you should listen, validate the statement and then give her a hug or kiss, or both. Then work on whatever the problem is and do it. AKA, Owning Your Shit. This is not truly shit or comfort test, but a verbalization of feelings



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