Daddy Issues

sh0ckley · 2016-11-10T17:38:40+00:00

I rarely looked up to my father and when I did as a child, he was very rarely present in a way that I wanted.

MRP explained to me why this was the case and what I could do about it and that it was now my damage to carry, if I continued on the BP path I was on, so I decided to let that shit go and move forward.

That said, my mother has since passed away, and I have as good a relationship with my father as I have ever had. I know he is proud of me in a way that he always wanted to be, but he lacked the knowledge to give me. I no longer blame him for that. Truth has set me free.

I've shared some RP truths with him and it's been great. A while back I told him about shit tests, without pointing out that he failed so many because it's no longer relevant today, he laughed heavily and said "there's a word for that??!!"

+1 for the manosphere - where masculine knowledge sharing creates more happiness in relationships while feminism wanders on lost.

TheFamilyAlpha · 2016-11-10T17:05:27+00:00

I've failed with both dad and brother, it's gut wrenching but they would rather fight tooth & nail to cling to their 'bp reality'.

The female imperative is their imperative and trying to be subtle and offer a different perspective resulted in a brutal fallout which has never quite healed.

They are both overweight, sad, and make excuses for their poor performance as well as lack of satisfaction in their life.

logger1234 · 2016-11-10T17:17:54+00:00

My dad wasn't in the matrix. He had a mission (outdoors), he had a workshop, he took us to parks for recreation and worked on the yard. He wasn't super social, but he was a family man. He was the prize; finding some time to go on a walk or play chess with him was a rare treat. He was busy.

He also used AM with us boys, "flirting" with us. I'd say "I need to go to the bathroom", he'd say "go for me too." I'd say "See you later", he's day "not if I see you first."

I hated that. I did not understand it. I thought he was mocking me and making fun of me. I decided to not be an aloof jerk like he was ...

... and I became a blue pill beta.

Sucks.

I do worry a little about my brother, and have tried talking to him. But I slipped a lot further a lot longer than he has.

Onward and upwards, friends.

Persaeus · 2016-11-11T12:16:05+00:00

I had the opposite experience with my father when swallowing the pill. My dad has always been alpha as fuck, probably too alpha to be married as a younger man. He has always had a steady stream of pussy available; and is on wife #4 now. I think she will be the last due to both his age now; and the fact that she worships him.

He stepped out on mom (wife #1) multiple times because she was a sex denying harpy because he did not provide adequate beta comfort and partly her being too independent a woman for his liking. They divorced when I was 11 and I blamed him entirely at the time, refused to talk to him for ~6 months and although we got along grandly after the initial reconciliation I held the divorce against him for decades.

As I matured into my own marriage and family I began to appreciate his perspective and decisions he made in life a lot more, all pre-RP. Watching my father through a RP lenses is to watch a "natural". I especially watching him handle shit test from his wife or many daughter/DIL. Fucking Jedi master employing all techniques.

He lives 8 hours away and we are not big phone talkers. This last summer was the first time we really got to spend some time together alone (bass fishing). I did not really discuss TRP with him because I am sure his response would be "duh". I spoke at length about my marital problems and the fact that I may very well divorce my wife in the next few years; and how I was distraught at the thought of hurting my kids. He said:

Son, you only live once, you have to do whatever you have to do to live the life you want. Your kids will be fine; just as you are fine.

Sepean · 2016-11-10T18:28:23+00:00

You can try to drop some hints, but I doubt it will work.

I've tried it a bit with various people and it never gets anywhere. It was mostly for my own sake, I didn't think it would work but it wouldn't feel right not having tried to help people.

But the way I see it, anyone who is even remotely interested in improving this area of their life will look good. They'll lift or at least be fit from some other activity and they'll dress well. If they're not they're beyond your reach, either from delusions or lack of willpower. You won't be able to change that, maybe a life crisis can, but not just your words and example.

I've tried getting many people to lift through 2 decades, and that's so fucking simple, uncontroversial and you get huge benefits for just a little time spent, and people can't even do that. Turning them red is as good as impossible.

I got my best friend to read MMSLP but he's not lifting and thinks his wife is a snowflake who "doesn't accept" A&A. Sheez.

blass_aster · 2016-11-13T23:53:28+00:00

My parents had/have a similar dynamic. I actually have a post asking if you can change your father's views. The answer is maybe. Depends on the person, but it's not something to actively pursue since it's not your problem. I look at it like passive dread. They may see you taking charge and look at their own life. I'd actually guarantee they will. It's just whether they'll make a change.

About 9 months ago when I started, I was telling my parents about what I wanted to achieve and who I wanted to be. This involved management. I remember my mom said that she thought I'd do it, and that I've always had more drive than my father. He heard this. I know he also read some of my books.

Now, he has quit his job for the most part and has invested his life savings in starting a new business. If it fails I have no inheritance and he has no retirement but I couldn't be more proud of him. Their dynamic doesn't seem to have changed much but fuck it

Soberskipper · 2016-11-10T18:14:36+00:00

I'm lucky as fuck because my dad is probably the most stoic, driven, mentally toughest bloke I've ever met....but has serious oneitis for my mum, which isn't a bad thing given their views (old school 60s redpill). They both know and forfill their gender roles. Recently at 56 and running a successful business he's started excersing again, press ups and going on runs (used to play football (ENGLISH) semi pro . Half of me wants to tell him to hit the weights but he'll never listen to my advice. However after been raised with a firm synical hand I fully appreciate what he has given me; a strong will and even stronger mentality. Once I swallowed trp it was like my life flashed before my eyes at all the alpha traits he introduced to me as I was growing up. Thanks dad.

WhiteTrashKiller · 2016-11-10T18:23:20+00:00

That is why we say "You do You! When you try to help them, you are giving some of yourself to a cause that will most likely fail. It is tough to watch the demise of someone you care for.

I tried once, but the Blue was too strong and the SJW indoctrination was just to deeply ingrained. I am told now "You hate women".

IMHO if it backfires they double down on the only thing they know.

FireTempered · 2016-11-10T18:28:02+00:00

Here's a look at your post from another angle…….

My father was probably the most alpha person I have ever met so far. He did things his way. He always had options. Women fawned over him, right in front of mom. Etc….

But no one could ever get him to tone it down. He was who he was. His choice, no one else's.

If your dad is a beta, it is his choice, no one else's.

Back off, you do not have the right to control others, period.

rocknrollchuck · 2016-11-10T23:51:55+00:00

My elderly parents moved in with us last year. Dad died in February of this year. I watched my mom nag, bitch, complain and henpeck him to death for the last 6 months of his life. She talked to him with nothing but utter contempt, but still he was nice to her to the very end. My Dad couldn't have been more textbook Blue Pill if he tried, and I saw how it ends. My opinion, suggest some things that you think might help - but be prepared to accept that most people don't have what it takes to change. You can't change anybody, but you CAN try to be Morpheus for the men in your life that you are close to. But they still must make the choice for themselves to see how deep the rabbit hole goes.

Title	Daddy Issues
Author	MRedScoundrel
Upvotes	2
Comments	26
Date	November 10, 2016 5:01 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/5c8x1p/daddy_issues/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/daddy-issues.206888 https://theredarchive.com/post/206888

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