707,481 posts

Fogging examples

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August 3, 2016
30 upvotes

User Drugganser from this post:

https://www.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/4vts60/update_on_my_journey/

Suggested I post some examples of fogging to improve my game.

Mostly I use it when my wife is critising me for something I factually failed to do in a crappy tone. Examples:

"You didn't take out the trash!" A: "You're right, I didn't."

"You left the dishes in the sink!" A: "That's true, I did."

This is different than deering -

Defend: "What's the big deal?"

Explain: "I was really busy and figured I could do dishes after the kids were in bed."

Evade: "I don't remember that. Are you sure it wasn't one of the kids?"

Rationalize: "You leave things in the sink all the time!"

My acknowledging the objection pretty much ends the discussion.

Ironically, since I've started exercising and getting rid of processed foods, the amount of these criticisms has decreased. I suspect I am -

a) Actually taking care of business better and b) Not giving her a emotional reward for criticism (no whining!)

Not sure. But /I/ feel better.


Post Information
Title Fogging examples
Author logger1234
Upvotes 30
Comments 15
Date 03 August 2016 11:15 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/207275
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/4w1i4u/fogging_examples/
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Comments

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is a quality post and I'm glad you shared it in this subreddit.

A lot of the new guys asking questions or puking all over the sub could learn a lot from this simple post. I especially like that you countered the fogging with both an explanation and examples of how you could have DEER'd but didn't.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (8 children) | Copy

Good, now what are you going to do with :

"You didn't take out the trash" A" "Yep, I haven't"

"Why do I have to be the only one who does anything around here! - you don't respect me, Im so tired of this shit!" ( most annoying soul ripping voice of hers you can think of)

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

""Why do I have to be the only one who does anything around here! - you don't respect me, Im so tired of this shit!" ( most annoying soul ripping voice of hers you can think of."

I've got options:

1) STFU. Shrug. Walk away.

2) A&A. Just did a post asking for examples.

3) Amused Mastery. Smile, change the subject to something fun we are planning. Another way: Short and sweet reply "Is there a request in there somewhere?" if diarrhea continues, walk away.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

"Is there a request in there somewhere?"

This comes off as more passive-aggressive then AM. You don't need to say anything with AM, just be visibly amused and give zero fucks. Could go with "you are the only one around here"; and then leave for gym to drive the point home. As long as YOUR ARE OWNING YOUR SHIT at home, you do not owe her any explanation. Her feeling are not your problem.

[–]tim_rp0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Could go with "you are the only one around here"; and then leave...

Fuck. Fog, A&A and AM all rolled into one. Next level.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That too....I primarily had implied dread in mind. As in, keep bitching and I will make it so.

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"Careful what you wish for; you just might get it "

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

http://c2.com/cgi/wiki?FoggingTechnique

I like this breakdown as well.

I also like to think of fogging like blending in martial arts. You aren't actively resisting the attack, you're moving enough that it removes its power... then you can redirect the energy.

[–]nopeToThe43rd3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

Reading through WISNIFG, and even during some parts of NMMG I really felt a lot of analogies to martial arts. Instead of resisting the attack, you agree, pull it into you(r frame) and redirect the energy out (of your frame) so that you don't let it affect you.

Your critic spends all of their energy coming at you and you just slip past it - they're exhausted/frustrated, and you couldn't give a fuck because it just went around you.

[–]pullypants2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

"yeah, lol!"



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