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Help a noob resolve an apparent Red Pill contradiction

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July 6, 2016
7 upvotes

I discovered this forum only a couple weeks ago. Since then I've read No More Mr. Nice Guy and The Rational Male. I'm currently reading the Married Man's Sex Life Primer. I'm confused by what seems to be conflicting Red Pill advice regarding work/career and I'm hoping you can help me resolve it.

On the one hand, Red Pill advice says increasing your professional success boosts your SMV.

On the other hand, Red Pill advice says that provisioning (i.e., financially supporting a woman) is a Beta trait, and further, that women are incapable of appreciating a man's sacrifices when it comes to working and financially supporting them (which my life experience has borne out as well).

I'm asking because I got laid off a year ago (employer went BK) so I started my own business, but it's still in the growth phase and so my income is not what it used to be. This is stressing out my stay-at-home wife, who would love me to make life easy and comfortable for her by shackling myself to a stable well-paying corporate job again. On one hand, Red Pill advice tells me that boosting my income by going back to a corporate job would boost my SMV and therefore get me laid more often with my wife. On the other hand, Red Pill advice warns me against making myself an inevitably-unappreciated Beta provisioner.

What do I want to do? I want to keep trying to make it work being my own boss. That's going to require some sacrifices (e.g., wife needs to adjust to living on a leaner budget for a while longer) that my wife won't like. But to be completely honest, I look at it this way: she's not working, I'm enjoying being my own boss and not being a corporate desk jockey, so why the fuck should I go back to doing what I don't want to do work-wise so that I can be an unappreciated Beta provisioner? Sure, maybe boosting my income would boost my SMV, but it's honestly not worth it to me to return to the corporate office grind all in the hopes that my wife might actually start having sex with me once or twice a week.

My stats & shit: 41 years-old, 6'3", 225 lbs., good-looking but I need to improve my BMI (add muscle, lose fat), been hitting gym regularly for 3 months, attorney by profession.


Post Information
Title Help a noob resolve an apparent Red Pill contradiction
Author Alpha_Rising
Upvotes 7
Comments 23
Date 06 July 2016 09:58 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/207341
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/4rl0i6/help_a_noob_resolve_an_apparent_red_pill/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
betasexual market valuethe red pillNMMNG
Comments

[–]rpteacher6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

An increase in money does not mean higher SMV. Doing well in your profession is about you. It is not so much about the money, it is about being a high value male both at home and at work. Also, screw your wife, figure out what you want(which sounds like you already know) and stick with it. This post sounds like you are still strongly in her frame. Figure out what YOU want. Keep working.

[–]Alpha_Rising[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Thanks for the advice. I think your observation that I'm still strongly in her frame is correct. I've been a hard-core Beta Nice Guy in my relationships for the past 20 years. I was totally bought in on all the Fem conditioning. I've finally woken up to the Matrix, but I'm still groggy and clearing sleep from my eyes.

[–]Olderpiller4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

A bit of advice that crosses your relationship and business, I am an entrepreneur and a business owner. One of the most common problems aspiring business owners make is that they become too Beta to their customers and prospective customers. Desperate to land a sale they do not build up their value. Holding frame is just as important in business as it is in a marriage. You must believe in your worth - otherwise prospective customers will not believe in you. Also looking good and dressing well will help you pickup up business. So self improvement will help in both pursuits.

As far as the stress from your wife, she wants security but you need to keep selling her on your vision. A good captain will tell the crew where they are heading way before they wind up there.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Women like a man on a mission. professional success is a mission. So long as you're not doing it to get her validation, it's a good thing.

That bit is for the guys who say they earn good money, as if it matters when their wife is treating them shitty

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Having lots of money gets you the best escorts……. lol

If you believe the lack of higher income is keeping you from getting laid, you be wrong.

Skittles can get you laid.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Money on a man is like makeup on a woman.

Its gotta be done right to be effective

[–]rocknrollchuck1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Your financial situation can be eased greatly if SHE goes out and gets a job to supplement your income for a while until your business starts bringing in a decent income. You're right, why should you go back to being a corporate desk jockey? You shouldn't! SHE should get out there and work for a while if the leaner budget is a problem for her.

[–]red-pill-man1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This right here.

[–]jeeohnjones1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Providing is a good beta trait.

Just being an ATM with no alpha traits is why 'beta' gets sneered at.

Alpha-Bux is the most desirable to women.

[–]more_load_comments0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"Alpha-Bux"

FINALLY see this term here.

This is my personal goal.

[–]Griever1141 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The core principle is simple: remove your wife/so/etc from the equation. DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY.

One of the core tenants of MAP is to fit things in your life to the end result of happiness.

For example: If you are struggling with money even though you budget well, you need to access if you need a higher paying job, be more frugal or learn to adapt to the lifestyle. Its all about removing rode blocks and improving the SELF.

In your case, GET THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR WIFE'S FRAME.

What do I want to do? I want to keep trying to make it work being my own boss. That's going to require some sacrifices (e.g., wife needs to adjust to living on a leaner budget for a while longer) that my wife won't like. But to be completely honest, I look at it this way: she's not working, I'm enjoying being my own boss and not being a corporate desk jockey, so why the fuck should I go back to doing what I don't want to do work-wise so that I can be an unappreciated Beta provisioner? Sure, maybe boosting my income would boost my SMV, but it's honestly not worth it to me to return to the corporate office grind all in the hopes that my wife might actually start having sex with me once or twice a week.

Notice the bold VS italic. Can you see which is YOUR FRAME and HER FRAME.

Remember, this is YOUR SHIP. She isnt the breadwinner, her opinion is MOOT. She is the 1st mate. If she wants to jump ship, point her to then stern and say, "happy swimming." Granted, this can only be done if you have all your shit together. Since you are an attorney and looking to make it on your own, you seem somewhat confident in your plan. GO FOR IT. Why does her opinion matter? Are you looking for mommy to pat you on the head? BE A MAN. HAVE VISION. HAVE ALL THE THINGS!

MAP is there to improve the self. Who DOESNT want more money, less stress, a sexier body, etc. You are providing for your family. If you said you were starting your own business so you could stay at home and shoot cans in the back more often i would agree with your wife that you are a fuck up. However, if you are doing thing to maximize profitibility/less stress... FUCK HER. She wants the benfits of a letting you get bleed dry in Corporate while she sits on her fucking ass at home.

YOU DONT REPORT TO YOUR WIFE. Earn as much or as little as you want. But remember, you are the head of the household and that means providing for the family. Its YOUR responsibility. Provide doesnt necessarily mean LUXURY. Unless you want to make shitloads of money to not have to do jack shit... but thats on you

[–]redearththeory0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is a well known dynamic: women are risk adverse and comfort seeking and therefore will not support their men investing the time and taking the risks necessary to build real wealth. Women would prefer a reliable donkey provider who stays at their miserable safe job.

[–]innominating0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You want to work for yourself. If you are passionate about that, and not just saying it because you are a lazy fucker, then working for yourself is the best way to raise your SMV in the long run.

Have a vision, she either buys in or she doesn't.

[–]WhiteTrashKillerRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Being succesful in life increases your SMV not in a Beta provisioning way, but it gives you the financial ability to access parts of society unattainable by the minimum wage group and as such opens up doors with women of said group.

Beter hobbies, better toys, better wardrobe, better food(keeping you fit and lean). Ever wonder why poor people in the US are fat and poor people in Africa are skinny? Processed food is cheap cause it isn't real food. It will fill your belly, but will kill you, make you fat and esentially undesireable to a portion of society.....

Now that being said just because your financially successful doesn't mean you aren't a chump.

Let me ask you, why isn't she looking for work? Has she ever worked? Could she work? Does she have any marketable skill(Other than sucking your Dick) that enables her to contribute? Lets face it she must have done something right to secure your provisions in the first place.

Use feminism against them, they want to be empowered and career oriented great, that also means they can pay for 50% of the tab.......

[–]IASGame0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you want to trade money for negotiated, desireless sex, you should be looking for prostitutes instead.

 

I you expect that in a good marriage, your wife will desire to have sex with you, you have to be valuable. Your personal potential counts for your value, but is not directly related with your current salary.

 

I believe this article from Rational Male will be helpful to clarify a bit the difference:

https://therationalmale.com/2012/06/11/case-study-creative-intelligence/

 

Note the difference between the desirability for short and long term relationships in the results. Technically, even though you are married, I believe you are better off with more short term desirability and therefore your own business may be a better option to increase your wife's desire.

[–]JackGetsIt0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

On the other hand, Red Pill advice says that provisioning (i.e., financially supporting a woman) is a Beta trait

No. This is your first misunderstanding. A man that marries a faithful women and supports her and his children is not a beta.

Redpill simply warns men that women have this duality while they are hunting for men. If you project to a women you first meet that you have a nice car, clothes, career she will want to put you into a, beta provider role instead of an alpha role. A women's greatest fantasy is an alpha with strength money and resources who commits to her and her alone. So, we warn newbs to the redpill not to project a provider role when initiating courtship so that the potential female only see's alpha traits and creates a chemical bond in her mind; women don't create a strong chemical bond to men that only offer financial security. Having money and provisioning isn't beta it's when and how you provide it that can make a man a full beta.

On one hand, Red Pill advice tells me that boosting my income by going back to a corporate job would boost my SMV and therefore get me laid more often with my wife.

No. This only boosts sexual market value to single women that don't have a man. Boosting SMV to you're wife is all about being a charismatic man with a rock solid plan that you are devouted too. A man of action.

If your current business idea is not bringing as much money home you will never be able to talk you wife into this being the right move; women and especially wives are highly risk averse.

It will only be the right move in her eyes when the money is sitting in the bank and then she will act like she supported you all along. Therefore the only way to keep your wife supporting you and to increase SMV is to double down on your charisma and commitment to a plan. This will be difficult to act confident when you damn well know that most new business' fail. You need to hide your worries about your new business from your wife. She will amplify those in her mind; she will be watching you everyday for signs of weakness or depression. Feel free to talk about doubts and planning issues with male friends, consultants or a therapists but never to your wife.

Also SMV isn't really an applicable acronym for this. You just want to increase your wife's sexual desire towards you and you alone. So I'd just call it Wife emotional, sexual support. WESS. So let's use that. If you increase your general SMV your wife might see it as you looking to fuck other women; in her mind you are dreading her; that will turn her into an anxiety ridden squirrel.

wife needs to adjust to living on a leaner budget for a while longer

Women hate stepping backwards lifestyle wise. If you ever pull a move like starting you own business again try to keep her lifestyle as stable as possible.

But to be completely honest, I look at it this way: she's not working, I'm enjoying being my own boss and not being a corporate desk jockey, so why the fuck should I go back to doing what I don't want to do work-wise so that I can be an unappreciated Beta provisioner?

This is logic. This makes sense to you, me and the men on redpill but it won't make sense to your wife. Women operate on feelz, not realz. So if she see's you happier, and you take her out more and have fun with her it will go a long way in convincing her that this was the right move. Don't try to talk her into it or logic her into it. Don't tell her how she should feel about it.

so why the fuck should I go back to doing what I don't want to do work-wise so that I can be an unappreciated Beta provisioner?

You can't. Don't go back on what you committed too. Going back to the corporate job will cement in her eyes that you are 100% beta provisioner husband and this will kill your marriage over the long run because you entered her frame. The few successful marriages remaining in north america are marriages that have a strong male leader that is an alpha provider not a beta provisioner.

You might have to drag her kicking and screaming through all of this and she will act like a child but that's what leaders have to do sometimes. Leaders take calculated risks and show amused mastery as they pilot the ship.

honestly not worth it to me to return to the corporate office grind all in the hopes that my wife might actually start having sex with me once or twice a week.

This is the right instinct. Stick with it. If she decides to be childish and attempts to use a dead bedroom as a tool to punish you. So be it. Don't let it show that it bothers you. She will start fucking you again when she see's how happy you are and see's you are working a plan. She will definitely start fucking you again when your business takes off.

[–]Chump_No_More0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I agree with other posters. Having a vision, being passionate about what you do, and getting shit done weighs more heavily than any specific dollar value. That said, any social proof from what you do is a huge bonus.

For example, I absolutely love what I do. I wake up excited every morning for the challenges the day will bring. My wife totally feeds on that and expresses often how that adds to her attraction to me.

Additionally, I'm a bit of an 'exotic animal' (my wife's words) in my field of work. When we're out together and people ask what I do, the response is often very animated and my wife is right there, beaming proudly, holding me tight.

Do not underestimate the importance of loving what you do and any social proof that comes from it.

IMO, anything more than living very comfortably is just ego. There's a difference between abundance and opulence, but YMMV.

[–]nopeToThe43rd0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What do I want to do?

What do you want to do?



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