This is a topic I haven't seen covered in much detail anywhere else, but also one of my wife's favorite tactics. Basically she will make broad accusations that are not true, or occasionally specific ones.
- "You never spend time with me." (said the Monday after a weekend filled with shared activities)
- "You never compliment me." (said the same day I know I've complimented her)
- "You're always at the gym." (My gym schedule is reasonable and has long been established)
- "What did you do with my hair clip, I saw you messing with it earlier." (Obviously false, never touched it and found it where she dropped it. She was just angry for other reasons.)
I understand why she's saying these things, and I understand that her hamster has convinced her that these things are actually true. However, to A&A, AM, or fogging seems to acknowledge that I agree with the root of her shit test. To start listing the obvious reasons that what she's saying makes no sense, is to DEER and will not work (again, I think she actually believes what she's saying is true).
I guess ignoring is the least worst response, but she uses this a lot so it'd be nice to have something else.