Question on wife cheating

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January 10, 2016

Simple question I just want to know that I had a chance to consider all perspectives. Is there any situation in which a wife who cheated twice should not be dumped? Two kids involved else this would already have been done. I don't believe I can tolerate what has happened but I'm trying to make sure I've had a chance to think everything thru. Please understand I'm in a bad place emotionally this may be very straightforward but my mind has been racing for 10 days over this and I'm exhausted. Thanks.

Post Information
Title Question on wife cheating
Author ShuffleUp
Upvotes 6
Comments 42
Date 10 January 2016 12:41 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
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[–]Gogo4u9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

By not leaving her after the first one, you've only enabled her to continue doing it.

What do you think you're subconsciously telling her by staying with her after the second?

You can't reward (the epitome of)bad behavior with your commitment. It only tells them that what they did has no consequences.

Good luck.

[–]ArchwingerRed Beret8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Find your balls. You can do better.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've had a chance to think everything thru.

the first time would have been a good time to have this self reflection. what does your lawyer say?

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

In her mind you're a paycheck and a babysitter. You stay home with the kids while she's out getting cock. Grow a spine.

[–]A_RexRED KNIGHT3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Get everything lined up before you nuke it.

[–]RealEstateRockstar2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]arnieschwarz2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Divorce her.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Wife cheated twice...

Two children...


[–]fakefalse0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]Corollalover6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

You have to give more information. Did she cheat when you were 400 pounds and unemployed and passive-aggressively arguing with her because she wasn't "there for you"?

My extreme example illustrates that women will be as awful as you allow them to be and ultimately it's your fault.

[–]pullypants0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Agree, what's the deal? Her seeing someone for months while you neglect her is different from a drunk mistake. There's also different kinds of staying.

[–]Glenbert1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

No, no, no. You cannot make this distinction. They are both equally bad. If you say one is worse than the other, in hamster world that's as good as saying one is acceptable. Then the hamster will work just as hard as it can to show how the unacceptable situation is actually more like the "acceptable" situation.

"Well my husband DID ignore me last Thursday. So it's okay that I got so drunk that I let my boss face fuck me last night."

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

We dont have enough information. OP, pls send me a private message if you eant to talk. Sometimes it helps to speak one on one about this shit.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Here we have Cad going against the grain and suggesting that "dump her for cheating" is contextual and depends on who YOU are when the cheating happened and who YOU are right now.

I agree if you have not been the leader of the relationship and have not been bringing the tingles then she WILL cheat. AWALT (almost).

So an alternative move, if you want to "save" what is left of this, is to Alpha up, be the MAN, bring the tingles, set the boundaries going forward- and start from where you are right now, year Zero.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Of course its easier to start over with a new woman. BUT sometimes there could be collateral damge with NEXT and the instadump when a mans behavior was subpar really isnt fair or truthful.

Why should a woman be held responsible for being faithful to a loser?

[–]Quarter_Century_Club2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You deserve better. Next her immediately and put all your time, energy and resources in bettering yourself and your kids' lives.

[–]IASGame2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy

Even being as "tolerant" on the wife as UCad is being, I think staying with a wife that cheated twice is such a demonstration of lower value that I don't see room for a realistic recovery.

The OP could put in the effort to become as hot and dominant as a mythical Chad and the wife would still remember he stayed with her after she cheated on him twice. She could then think "I don't deserve him", but she could also think (more likely) "If he stayed he had no options".

With the relationship in such dire straits, I'm not even sure it is still better for the kids to stay. Are the kids even genetically the OP's (needs to be considered given the circumstances)?

Whatever amount of effort he puts in, the same amount of effort would get him better with one or more other women.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Except, almost every married man was cheated on, the guy doesnt know it or hamsters it away.

Go ahead and keylog computer and phone, you will see, almost every guy who checks will come away and see the whole sidebar provem to him

To be clearer, I did not suggest OP be tolerant, I said there is scant information to go on here.

[–]Glenbert2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

almost every guy who checks will come away and see the whole sidebar provem to him

This is like going into a cancer ward and concluding that most people have cancer. I don't know of too many men who would keylog their wife's phone just because it's a fun thing to do. They do so because they realized that their wives are sketchy and are higher cheat risks.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Trust but verify. Its not "beta" to protect your family and finances and most every man who did this learned the god honest truth that women are not so wonderful.

They are people like you and me

[–]Glenbert0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I do agree with TBV, wholeheartedly. I do check my wive's communications from time-to-time. I've never seen any indicator sof infidelity, which is nice. But I have come a across a few wince-inducing things that just serve as little redpill reminders.

But that's definitely not the norm. Prior to my ex laying down some seriously sketchy nonsense (e.g. mentioning polyamory for no reason) I would have never even thought to TBV. So glad I did so I could quickly rinse the scales from my eyes, dump her ass and move on.

It's a better way to be IMO, but it's simply not the norm.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

They are people like you and me

OOOOHH you are such a shitlord....

[–]IASGame0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

What is your definition of cheating (emotional counts?). From the context I take it you mean "almost every married man was cheated on" by his current wife?

I think things are bad with respect to marriages and LTRs, but I don't think they are at the "almost every" level. Majority? I can sort of see that now that I'm Red Pill aware (given that Majority do end up in divorce).

The Almost Every level is that women are hypergamous (hence indeed keylogging would reveal the sidebar), but I don't think almost every one of the married ones is acting out on their hypergamy (hence keylogging wouldn't necessarily reveal actual cheating). And many of the ones that do may "branch swing" without cheating on their husband, no?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Might be your girfriend, fiance, or wife after the ceremony. You and every other man has been cheated on at least emotionally, probably physically.

Most of the bitches should be nexted for it but my point is her cheating takes no value from you as a man. It may indicate issues where you slipped or need work.

[–]midlifedick3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]innominating4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]WillWorkForLTC3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]Nebulose111 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Demote her to plate and get some on the side yourself.

Let her be the one to nuke the relationship. The childhood of your children is at stake. Get all your ducks on a row for your exist but let her initiate. Remember, once demoted never promote her again.

[–]Redpilllife791 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

No. This is a world of abundance and there are plenty of other quality women out there who do not cheat. Get a lawyer and get the hell out man. Good luck.

[–]Griever1141 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dump the cheating whore and move on. Make SURE you have documentation of her cheating (letters/emails etc) and lawyer up BEFORE telling her that you are dumping this shit tier quality woman.

It WILL get better.

Do you really want to show your kids that its ok to cheat on a spouse?

[–]Redneck001Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

wife who cheated twice

Absolutely fucking no.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you like the nickname ShuffleUp Cuck then keep her .. if not then Next her.

[–]wakethfkupneo0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Is there any situation in which a wife who cheated once should not be dumped?


Is there any situation in which a wife who cheated twice should not be dumped?


[–]pullypants0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Come on. Zero tolerance? Really?

[–]Glenbert3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Here's the only situation I can come up with: she's the last woman on earth.

[–]wakethfkupneo0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

If you get over it (the first time), what message do you send? And does it really matter if it's only 1 extra cock or 2, 3 ... ? There's absolutely no way to get out of that paradox: if you forgive her, you're beta bitch with no other options <---> hypergamy is hardwired to resent beta bitches.

Think of it as her getting exposed to radiation from nuclear power plant. From that point on, she's permanently contaminated. Or think of it as getting cancer on certain part of your body: the only way to save your life is to remove the part, no matter how hard it is or how attached you are to that part.

The moment she does it, it's game over. You can be smart and remove small part or let the cancer spread and eventually remove bigger part, once you realize it won't magically heal itself.

Not to even mention the time you're wasting (typically years) waiting for miracle (NAWALT) to happen, that should be better spent looking for better woman - a.k.a. "sunk cost fallacy".

[–]pullypants0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This sub is all about self improvement. We accept that our nature isn't set in stone and that we can change it. Why is that true of men and not women?

I accept you need to have standards, and I accept that in many circumstances cheating is zero tolerance. But it's never truly that straightforward is it?

[–]chief_slap_ahoe0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I would have nuked the world the first time. She wouldn't have had a chance for the second.

[–]the_Zambony0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

One time, maybe, with true remorse an indicator for possible reconciliation

Two times, no fucking way.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Leave her

[–]mrpCamper0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Short answer no. More useful information, depending on your state's divorce laws, if you forgive her, then you can not use her cheating as leverage in the divorce suit. For example, you will pay alimony if you forgive her and then decide later to divorce but may be able to get out of it if you divorce her based on a non forgiven affair. Proof can be just that something sketchy happened like a hotel receipt. The first time is a wash. it already happened. If the second time is more recent, you could be giving up leeway, money and parental control by not proceeding forward with a divorce. Please go see an attorney if nothing else.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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