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Man in his thirties wonders why his wife doesn't love him anymore and leads him on with excuse after excuse. Featuring "I am 35, with a successful 10+ year career, make over $150k/year, own a house and a new car."

farbenwvnder
June 24, 2014
35 upvotes
/r/TheRedPill
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Title Man in his thirties wonders why his wife doesn't love him anymore and leads him on with excuse after excuse. Featuring "I am 35, with a successful 10+ year career, make over $150k/year, own a house and a new car."
Author

farbenwvnder
Upvotes 35
Comments 56
Date June 24, 2014 8:50 AM UTC
(12 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/28y8lu/man_in_his_thirties_wonders_why_his_wife_doesnt/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/man-in-his-thirties-wonders-why-his-wife-doesnt.229440
https://theredarchive.com/post/229440
Red Pill terms in post
the red pill
Top posts by farbenwvnder

20 y/o girl "wants his dick more than ever" after discovering his flirting with other girls on Tinder

75 upvotes
August 17, 2014
/r/TheRedPill

Comments

[–][deleted] 40 points41 points42 points 12 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

She also says I need to woo her throughout the day

this guys biggest problem is getting advice on how to be a man from his wife

classic beta mistake

[–]HULKx 5 points6 points7 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

sometimes when i squeeze my girlfriends ass or titties she gets flustered... i just tell her i was wooing you with my best moves and they didnt even work...

[–]abutterfly 8 points9 points10 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I just say nothing and let the smug, shit-eating grin on my face do the talking.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 8 points9 points10 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

My ex told me the thing she missed most when I was deployed, or was away for family shit, was how I would grope her as I walked by, or as she went by me. Sometimes I would walk up behind her, grope her, finger her, and go back to what I was doing.

She would complain about it, but she missed it. I bet she misses it more now since its been a year since I've touched her.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points11 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Never ask a fish how to catch a fish

[–]Esminia 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

What is wooing someone ? And btw, fuck that bot that deletes short comments, this thing is absolutely pointless

[–]DoesNotMatterAnymore 25 points26 points27 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Honestly stories like this makes me sad and hollow in the inside. Because you have seen this before, you know what's wrong, and you are unable to help him. Inevitable is approaching....

[–]Old_Pine_Tree22 points 12 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

Let me begin by saying that my wife is a wonderful, outgoing, giving and trustworthy person.

Notice the focus of his emotional energy. Is it little wonder why he's having such a difficult time? The man is completely sucked into his wife's frame and she is ragdolling him as a result.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

The apologies for her behavior drive me nuts.

It's no easy task to face the world and bring home a $150k salary (although this guy isn't making that much, I promise).

If it were easy, everyone would do it. There's a lot of value in that alone, but he doesn't see it, and instead feels like she's going through some tremendous burden.

Which is bullshit. It may physically suck but it's a biological imperative - he doesn't owe his wife major doormatting.

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points23 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

And what does everyone do? They make excuse to allow her behavior.

"She's pregnant. Hormones. Blah blah blah."

You guys know just as well as I do that the only reason she is with him at this point is because she's pregnant and can't deal with it on her own. I bet the moment that baby pops out, she divorces him, gets some of his shit, gets that child support and hops on an alpha dick(if she's lucky). Most likely, she'll find another poor sap to leech off of who's a little bit more of a desirable man.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 6 points7 points8 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Nah, she won't find a more desirable man, that is incredibly rare. Think about it, she used to be attractive, single, and she got a decent, even if beta male, now she will be a single mom, stretch marks, pushing the wall or past it, probably with baby fat, and her tits will most likely go flat like pancakes.

When women leave the father of her children, they almost always do worse. What kind of man wants a fat chick with some other guys kids? Answer: A desperate man who will settle for her gelatinous stretch marked aging and saggy ass. Its the rare woman who still looks good after kids, and has enough value to catch a better man than she left. They almost never stay with the one they cheated with and left for, unless they are both desperate.

[–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar 16 points17 points18 points 12 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

Paternity test that infant, man. Especially since her lack of interest in sex predates the pregnancy.

[–]lemonparty 12 points12 points12 points 12 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Not a single person in that thread gave that advice....and it's the FIRST thing I thought based on her behavior.

[–]Iupvoteforknowledge 4 points5 points6 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

This is the world we live in. Until the men become men again it will only get worse. Honestly I don't blame women at all, they are only doing what's in their nature. All these weak ass, effeminate beta males enabling them are the problem.

[–]BelievableEscort[🍰] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Once men believe the human equality line it's easy to sell the message that all human emotions are valid, so naturally these men think controlling emotions leads to evil notions of being careless and the likely manipulating others - if it can be done at all.

Women's nature is to stop the men in their life from remaining truly objective towards them and it's working on a mass scale, they would much rather high value men and women continue to inflate her ego with endless praise of any and all virtues they can loosely tie themselves to, regardless of consequence.

[–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar 4 points5 points6 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

She hasn't even popped, and she's already planting the seeds of divorce.

[–]Pornography_saves_li 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

They're married. The kid could be green with scales, and it won't matter. He's on the hook no matter who the father is.

Yet another reason to get married...'presumptive paternity' laws....

[–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Not true. If he refuses to sign the birth certificate and insists on a paternity test, he can get out of it.

[–]873233783873287 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

you're both right, different rules apply for different states

[–]Pornography_saves_li 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm Canadian. And nowhere in this nation can a man 'shirk his responsibilities'...even if both parents agree.

Edited to add: the law you refer to is likely the one allowing UNMARRIED fathers to dispute paternity, which isn't even allowed here, but is in some states.

[–]1independentmale 16 points17 points18 points 12 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Hey, he sounds like me a few years ago. Big fat pay check, expensive house, nice cars, I gave her everything she wanted and wondered why she didn't want me. Nothing was ever enough. It was all about her and what she wanted. She needed me to be this or that, do more of x, less of y, woo her, impress her, buy her this or that and so on.

The only thing that can fix this is hard core dread game. Take that bitch off her pedestal and start prepping for divorce. Stop going to counseling, it's a bunch of money sucking woman-speak designed to whip you into submission. The only thing that is wrong with this marriage is this woman who isn't happy despite having the world handed to her on a silver platter. So take away the platter. Either she comes around or she doesn't. Either way, he'll be better off.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Well, how did you work out your situation from a few years ago?

[–]1independentmale 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Hard core dread game. I quit going to her lame counseling sessions and started exercising, eating better, dressing better and so on. I stopped giving a fuck about her senseless crying every time she failed to completely manipulate me. Instead of trying to console her, I saw her game for what it was and just shook my head and walked away. I went out with friends and just did me.

The result was nothing short of amazing. I got more blowjobs the last year of my marriage than the first 14 combined. She suddenly decided she loved sex and we fucked all the time. It was too little too late for me though. Mostly I was pissed that she was capable of this but held back for literally all of my twenties, made me miserable when she didn't have to. I divorced her in the end anyway.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm having similar experiences right now. I believe my game must suck somehow, because I am not getting as good results as I should be - I mean, I had everything for a short while, then I probably fucked up somewhere by some sudden DLV. Maybe.

Any tips for redpill brother in a similar situation? I'm already doing gym + diet, I'm improving my proffessional things.

Why did you divorce her anyway?

[–]1independentmale 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I've seen your posts and we've traded messages before. I believe you even bought me gold (thank you again!). Here's what I think your problem is: You've got oneitis for your wife. You're still in love with her, but she doesn't make you happy. No woman can or will make you happy long term, you have to find that from within. Make yourself happy.

As for your wife, I can't tell you what to do. If she's the cause of your unhappiness, then get rid of her. Work on yourself and be alone for awhile. Look, when she's gone, there are going to be good days and bad. My ex has been gone for a couple of years but we still interact regularly to exchange children. There are times when I miss her, but less and less every day.

As for why I divorced her anyway, I think I couldn't forgive her for the way she had treated me when I was her blue pill beta bux. I gave that bitch everything and she gave me as little as possible in return. While it was nice to have her suddenly being super into me, it pissed me off that she didn't give me her best earlier in the marriage when I was damn sure giving her mine. Plus, I knew I could do better. Younger, hotter girls with less baggage and less drama were already hitting on me, so I took the opportunity and bailed the fuck out of my marriage. If I had it to do over again, I'd do it years earlier. No regrets.

[–]TRP VanguardCyralea 46 points47 points48 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

She keeps saying that she's worried I won't be responsible enough when the baby comes.

Boom. Here is the only part you need to read. She doesn't see him as a leader. She doesn't respect him. This is root of it, not her fluctuating hormones.

He is a provider in her eyes, not the captain of her ship. Women want a winner, a leader, not a coworker to help her with her chores.

[–]lemonparty19 points 12 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

Her behavior is screaming "get a paternity test asap" if you ask me.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

That worry is as obvious as it can get that she got knocked up by some alpha and she is worried the beta moneybag will find out. She is trying to get a promise from him that he will raise that bastard child. That man is an idiot, he should know better without any TRP what is going on. I don't even feel sorry for people like that.

Deception is the art of survival, and the bitch is good at it, while the man sucks balls. Survival of the fittest.

Also people like these are examples of what happens when kids grow up sheltered and never experience betrayal, rejection, deception and malice towards them.

[–]redpilldude 10 points11 points12 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

She also says I need to woo her throughout the day. That is fair, and I try and be playful throughout the day, get her flowers, massage, playful kisses etc, then we'll still go a week or more without sex.

... but I also feel like there has been one excuse after another for years. When she does want sex it's good.... I don't initiate because I feel like I get shot down all the time.

<Sigh> If a woman isn't physically attracted to you, then buying her flowers and massages and giving hugs and kisses will do absolutely nothing to get her turned on.

[–]myschadenfreude 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I bought flowers for my ex-wife, put them on the breakfast bar, she's short, they were at eye level due to huge bouquet.

Nearly two hours later I pointed them out. Her response? "Oh...nice..." then wandered off. Flowers were not the answer.

[–]Sandkasten 5 points6 points7 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Did somebody messaged him this sub? Push him into the water. Either he starts to swim or drowns in his own inability.

[–]Endorsed ContributorRedBigMan 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I stopped doing that a while ago... I figure other people are already doing it.

That said people who do this should warn them of the rather brutal and blunt nature of TRP. It can be unnerving seeing TRP discussing your personal issues when you are not well versed in TRP theory.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I watch cases like this like I watch discovery channel. Lions devour gnus. Bitches screw oblivious betas. Same thing. The cycle of life.

Betas take money from alphas. Bitches take money from betas. Alphas take sex from bitches. Bitches have 2 children, 1 from alpha 1 from beta, beta raises both. Cycle repeats.

[–]moosik85 48 points49 points50 points 12 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

When will men learn.

Women don't want a nice guy that will work his ass off and never be around. They want a guy that is fun and dominates them.

Women would rather be beaten to death then bored to death.

Who gives a fuck about your job. As long as food is on the table, scale back, enjoy life, work on yourself and spend time with your children.

[–][deleted] 12 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]Sturmgeist781 9 points10 points11 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

See, even men have hamsters.

Feels > logic.

Just because someone upset you doesn't mean we should give a shit. If you don't like something, minimize it and move on.

[–]Endorsed ContributorInvalidity 10 points11 points12 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Because of the apparently "sexist" rhetoric? When will you naive people realize what is so apparent.

Many girls would rather spend their available time chasing after convicts (even serial killers) than be constantly showered with gifts and affection by a chump.

[–]Isaiah4verse1 6 points7 points8 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

ooohhh Watch out. The rape police are on their way!!!

"wahhhhhh wahhhhh" I can almost hear the sirens coming from the nearest college.

[+]Killmelol12 -9 points-8 points-7 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Who upvoted it? The losers working at Wal-mart making $20k/year hamstering themselves and thinking poverty is awesome.

If you work at walmart, that's fine. It's pathetic when you've accepted that for the rest of your life and are proud of it though.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 7 points8 points9 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

There's a distinction you apparently missed. Its not saying don't achieve anything, its saying that isn't what attracts females sexually. If you're a rich chump they will flock to you, then fuck you just enough to keep you paying for her shit. Meanwhile she is fucking someone who gives her the tingles, and it doesn't matter if he is rich or not, all that matters is that he is dominant and whatever else happens to make her moist.

Young guys can get away with being broke, having shit jobs, and not working. It will bite them in the ass in their forties. They will still get laid when they want, but that's all they will have going for them. Men measure themselves by accomplishments, and men my age who haven't achieved anything realize its too late and they are nearly worthless. Women don't care though, I know many women who support their drunk loser boyfriend and turn down accomplished men, and these women are in their forties and fifties. I don't date women my age, I can't to be honest, I'm not enough of a loser, so I fuck young ones in their twenties.

[–]Isaiah4verse1 3 points4 points5 points 12 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

A woman's "love", the conditional commodity it is, this situation can only lead me to the following conclusions.

  • A) He failed to meet a condition (however irrational).
  • B) She is bored.

[–]watersign 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Shes worried that once he finds out the baby isnt his, he won't be responsible for it. I'd be worried if i was her too!!

[–]1thedangerboy 3 points4 points5 points 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

I'm betting it has nothing to do with him. I'm betting the baby is not his. If it were, she would feel really attached and would really need him to help her in the next year with a new baby. She is pushing him away for a reason.

[–][deleted] 12 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]1thedangerboy 4 points5 points6 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I don't disagree that his lack of physical activity, his supplication, and his weakness would drive her away. Of course it is speculation and we may never know (he may not follow-up ever), it is more of a hunch but my gut says the baby is not his.

[–]Rainymood_XI-1 points 12 years ago [recovered] (13 children) | Copy Link

To be honest the title is a bit misleading here...

Man in his thirties wonders why his wife doesn't love him anymore (...)

or

Man in his thirties with an 8-month pregnant wife full of hormones doesn't want to have sex anymore with said man

you're just grasping at straws here... seriously, if your wife is 8 months pregnant and you want to give her the cold shoulder or something? Silly imho ...

[–]farbenwvnder 31 points31 points31 points 12 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

We rarely have sex, maybe once a month. Recently it's been far less as her pregnancy has made her feel uncomfortable in her lady bits. The sex we do have has been pretty bad lately. She enjoys extremely specific things and barks orders out as to what I need to do. "Down Down. left. slower. left. Why did you stop?" It's very unsexy to me and if I can't hit those exact points she gets frustrated and we just give up.

Pretty clear implication his sex life was very unsatisfying way before this pregnancy

but I also feel like there has been one excuse after another for years

Same story here

I don't see the straws I'm grasping at

Of course you and all the commenters in the original thread have a point with her pregnancy but if your relationship crumbles to this level even during a pregnancy, one side clearly has no interest in the relationship anymore and it is not a relationship worth continuing. Do you really think their relationship will be all smooth again once the baby is there? I'm not an expert but I doubt it

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

We rarely have sex, maybe once a month.

If this was the reality of my relationship, I'd have been long gone. I have sex whenever I want in my current LTR... and she loves it that way.

[+]Rainymood_XI -13 points-12 points-11 points 12 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

one side clearly has no interest in the relationship anymore and it is not a relationship worth continuing

brother, they have a baby on the way ...

[–]farbenwvnder 9 points9 points9 points 12 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Continue for the sake of the baby? I don't know what you're trying to say

[–]Rainymood_XI -5 points-4 points-3 points 12 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

You're suggesting he'd bail the fuck out now? With an 8 month in pregnancy?

[–]HULKx 14 points15 points16 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

he shouldnt stay just for the baby... he can still be a dad without being in a miserable relationship if thats what he wants.

[–]1neveragoodtime 6 points7 points8 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Now would be a good time for some serious dread game. Once the baby is 5 she'll walk, but now he has the upper hand since she won't want him to go now. Get his life back in line, and hopefully salvage a currently ugly relationship that will only get worse and lead to divorce.

[–]Endorsed ContributorInvalidity 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I can guarantee you these problems were in place way before her pregnancy.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours 5 points6 points7 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Having a kid will not fix a marriage, she won't magically fall back in love with her husband. She hasn't been attracted to him for a long time, the way he describes sex with her spells that out.

She will leave when the kid is old enough. Doting on her will only make shit worse. The mother of my kids wanted to fuck every day, usually multiple times a day in her third trimester. We fucked the day before both our kids were born. When then youngest was four, oldest seven, she took off with them. What happened to me isn't unique, its typical, and this guy is on his way to getting fucked over like I did.

There are few things he can do, but she is going to leave, take the kids and most of his earnings with her.

[–]1AreYouAware_ 12 points13 points14 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

As I said, we've been seeing a counsellor but I don't know that it's helping at all. I thought things had been improving, we were laughing, having fun, getting things done and ready for the baby, then in session she said she's never felt further from me and that she thinks there's something we just can't fix.

Pregnant or not, hormonal or not, this is real-talk, unmasked, straight-up saying "I'm ready to leave you. I have nine toes out the door and the tenth is slipping."

Regardless of how he feels about this woman, she does not (and has not for years, it seems) loved him the same way. He describes long-standing poor treatment from his wife that indicates that this is not a new phenomenon.

He needs to take that 150k/year ass of his to see a lawyer because smart money says his wife is going to leave him in a year or two. He's a dead-man walking right now and he needs to protect himself.

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