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How do you deal with anger?

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May 13, 2019
15 upvotes

So from what I understand you do not express negative emotions to your woman. You’re supposed to be her rock and always keep a cool head.

But I do get annoyed from time to time, sometimes really annoyed from how she acts. And I want to lash out in one way or another, tell her to grow the fuck up or whatever.

See, my logic tells me that it’s not healthy to bury annoyance/anger inside as having a reaction releases it from mind and body. Else it builds up and an explosion might happen, or it harms you in some other way, be it brainfog, feeling stressed, uneasy or whatever it may be.

So how to best deal with this?


Post Information
Title How do you deal with anger?
Author MrNoFapzToday
Upvotes 15
Comments 29
Date 13 May 2019 06:39 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/238631
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/bo7cmc/how_do_you_deal_with_anger/
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Comments

[–]redwall9218 points19 points  (3 children) | Copy

Have you read "The Way of the Superior Man" by Dieda? It's on the sidebar for a reason. If you interact with your woman as if she's a man, then you will remove polarization from the relationship, and attraction will disappear, and your resentment will grow.

If you learn to see and appreciate reality (you are a man, your woman is a woman), then you will appreciate your woman for being a woman instead of getting annoyed at her when she woman's.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy

Even better, treat her like you would a little girl. It's so much easier to keep cool and not break frame with kids. I just pretend she is a kid and it makes things easy.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yep. OP, once you become high value and the dominate alpha, she’ll usually stop acting like a shitty co-captain and fall in line ...ie drain your balls.

[–]Youdontgottadenyit2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you interact with your woman as if she's a man

what about interacting with your woman as if you're a woman?

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (10 children) | Copy

  1. STFU
  2. Lift
  3. Try to see amusement in what she's doing

I get angry as well, but with self-reflection she's just being a woman... it can be amusing if you let yourself be amused. I think the key is to really STFU, don't let her get any whiff that you're annoyed or angry because she wins. Swallow it down and use the anger for something productive like lifting.

[–]MrNoFapzToday[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I guess I’m getting there. Been lifting a little while and seeing some progress.

Planning on buying some earplugs and find some music to make me angry in the gym, can’t seem to get there by myself, cheers!

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando14 points15 points  (2 children) | Copy

Bring your wife with you. She seems to bring out your angry side quite easily.

[–]rocknrollchuck2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Brutal.

[–]MrNoFapzToday[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Haha! Might just do that

[–]symbologythere1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Yeah but you have to be able to communicate when there’s an issue. Like she keeps leaving her dirty dishes on the couch. How do you say “bitch put this in the sink” in a Red Pill way?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy

Shame works well. Pick it up look at her with a bit of head tilt and a "Really " eyebrow raise. Shake your head and hand it to her. You dont have to say a thing.

[–]redwall926 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

It sounds like a Jedi mind trick. But it's really just the product of being a high-value man. If she views you as a high-value man, then the eyebrow communication is all that's necessary. If there's more necessary, then it's not worth saying because you're most likely not worthy of saying it.

[–]symbologythere1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

This is the problem.

[–]redwall920 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Negatory ... this is the path to the solution.

All this stuff we're talking about ?? This mental model we're playing with in our hands ??? It's all made up man.

Frame your reality in a way that let's you have control over what you can control. That's RP at it's core.

[–]symbologythere0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I should’ve said this is my problem. Clearly the wife doesn’t view me as a high value man, if she did I never would’ve needed to come here in the first place. I’m working on it but I’m still a fat pussy.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

For overall relief:

I deal with meditation, exercise, hanging with friends...any stress relief. If she's annoying , then do something else. If you're angry...then she's REALLY annoying and you need to do something else.

Granted, understanding the meta or overall doesn't always help IN THE MOMENT.

So some stupid shit I've come up with is to try to have some go to mental states (which even bleed into A.A. A.M....and if you fake the A.A. A.M. convincingly and for long enough...you start to own it and it helps you see things as a joke anyway).

So anyway...a dipshit go to if I catch myself (and it isn't JUSTIFIED AND PARENTAL IN NATURE) is :

  • Either for external A.M. or internally for self control : Twirl my finger in the air (or imagine I'm doing it) like a old school director and go "AHHH... MARRIAGE THEATER!"

Because it is.

It really is.

One big giant cosmic biological joke on humans to make us dance like monkeys trying to interact with each other...and it's for effect. So ... theater, a performance. Helps kick me into observer mode. Like waking up from a dream where you felt a severe emotion. AH...it's fake, it wasn't real. It isn't.

And , most of the time, it's because you forgot she was a woman and in some way started to expect rational behavior from a primarily emotional being. Stop forgetting.... like we always say, you don't get mad at a dog for barking or a woman for shit testing. It's just what they do.

But if you forget...and you can't recover...just O.I.

It's better not to say it out loud, but if you need a little pressure relief or to drown out the noise chasing your back

"You have fun with that"

"OK, we'll pick this up later and by that I mean never"

"Blah de blah".

"Yadda yadda"

"Bye Felicia" or "Ok, Karen"

Even if your button was pushed, if you O.I. on a less-caring note it's a small recovery.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is very good. Been saying bye Felicia but she doesn't know the reference. It's still funny because she is mad that she doesn't know what it means. I laugh either way.

[–]framelessglasses1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Great explanation here. Something for everyone. +1

[–]FoxShitNasty835 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm having some challenges with anger right now but the root cause is you.

1.STFU

  1. LIFT

  2. Call out and Shoot down bitchy behaviour if valid... followed by 1 and 2. (Only do this if your frame is titanium alloy with thermite tipped nukes)

Formatting is gay

[–]NMMNG_14 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

How do you deal with anger?

Do you get angry at the sky when it rains? Do you lose your composure yell at the wind when you leave a book open outside and the breeze flips the pages?

When you get angry, you don’t make a scene. You STFU and go take it out on the iron. Iron doesn’t talk back, she never lies. Iron is your best friend. Iron gives you back as much as you give her.

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

That “annoyance” you get is from looking in the mirror (your woman) and seeing how much of a pussy you are.

Have you read the sidebar?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I hate that this is true. I have been getting mad at me. It's very motivating.

[–]FereallyRedHard Core Red2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Anger is your emotion.

Not her fault.

Process why you're angry at her. Realize that it's your frame that needs work.

In other words it's not about what she's done, it's about your reaction to what she's done.

[–]AccidentallyShackled1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Tell her to grow the fuck up

Bud, women stop maturing around 18 (but around a 28 yo man’s level). Men mature into their 40s. Stop expecting her to have your level of maturity.

[–]redwall924 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fap

[–]MrTrizzles0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

First, make a list and determine if your anger is justified in each scenario. As is repeated often here, some of women's poor behavior is due to a lack of leadership by the man.

Then there's AWALT, can't get mad over shit on that list.

And so on. Then apply stoicism and STFU and avoid DEERing.

You'll probably reduce your flashpoints significantly after using these filters.

[–]SkimTheDross0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The key is to learn to not get angry in the first place.

[–]tap09885340 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

There are multiple levels of possibility here. The first problem is why are you angry? Anger usually derives from a feeling of frustration over a lack of power or control over a situation.

However, understanding what is pissing you off can help too. Depending on your level of OCD, you might feel helpless when forks aren't perfectly aligned in the drawer, or you may not care if there's cat shit on the bed.

Is she deliberately goading you to get a reaction? Is she passive aggressively retaliating against you for some perceived slight?

The first step is assertiveness training (WISNIFG). You are probably upset because you are judging something she is doing as being wrong. If you can stop judging her behavior as wrong, you can stop feeling butthurt about it. What she's doing isn't wrong, its just female. Are you going to feel tears of anger when a cat licks it's paws. Unless you want to be married to a dude, you need to accept her femininity. She needs to shit test you because she's wired to, and it's the only way she'll feel safe. Everytime, you feel butthurt or injured over her behavior you fail the shit test, whether you talk it through or not.

So when you feel annoyed about something, unless she's doing something truly evil like murdering orphans, understand that there is no moral framework that stands judge over your interpersonal dynamics, there is just male and female. If she does something you don't like, its not a cause to feel injured helpless anger, it's just something you don't like. And it's a useful masculine thing to tell her what you like and want and don't like or want.

"I want you to make the bed with a military fold." "I want you to do the dishes every night before bed, and perfectly align the forks in the drawer." "I want you to be naked and waiting for me in bed when I get home."

Because it isn't right or wrong for her to do what you want. She may not. And you won't feel hurt, helpless, frustrated, or angry if she doesn't. You won't bully or pressure her into promising something or doing something she doesn't wish to do, but simply calmly broken record what you want, without animosity or helpless frustration. But as you establish your masculinity by not feeling hurt, and becoming more attractive, her femininity will respond with wanting to do more pleasing things.

[–]FoxShitNasty830 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I got angry this week... It didn't end well. I called out bitchy behaviour and didn't have the frame to cope when the hamster throat punched me. (Yeah I'm a bitch too)

It's far far better to shut the fuck up, if she wants a fight dont engage just fog it (wisnifg). Leave and lift... Repeat.

Also when you get angry and don't deal with it... She will get angry... Because she is a mirror of you. Her hampster will come for you. Be ready to not engage. (Just my opinion, others are available)



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