Anyone know how to focus on thinking logically instead of emotionally when things you don’t like happen?

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May 22, 2019

I hate when emotions take me over, what’s the best way to stay calm and think logically?

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Title Anyone know how to focus on thinking logically instead of emotionally when things you don’t like happen?
Author JyoungPNG
Upvotes 89
Comments 54
Date 22 May 2019 01:37 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
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[–]Terdmuffin84 points85 points  (5 children) | Copy

You have to realize when you're being governed by emotion. The more emotional you're being, the less foresight you put in and you react quickly. Take a step back, even just a couple seconds and think about where your thoughts and motivations are coming from.

[–]iwviw24 points25 points  (2 children) | Copy

Also op you are putting too much of your self worth or tying your identity too much to an outcome.

A girl turning you down for example does not measure your ability to score with girls and it doesn’t change who you are as a human... unless you perceive it that way. And you are perceiving it that way I’m guessing.

I’m not saying a girl dissed you, it could be anything that makes you emotional, maybe your boss scolded you or something. Don’t let one outcome or bad moment change or determine how you see yourself and how you identify your self and your worth.

Once you decide your own worth no person or situation can mess with your FEELINGS.

[–]WeddingCrasher912 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks that helped a lot

[–]Terdmuffin0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's not something I see mentioned with stoicism but to me stoicism really boils down to the fact there there's 2 types of things in the world: things you can change/effect, and things you cannot... Focus on the former and don't sweat the latter. A girl rejected you? You can't change that. Don't sweat it. If you think your game is bad? You can change that. Practice, read books, practice,watch videos, practice. You got fired? You can't change that so start looking for a new job. Stuck in traffic and you're pissed off? You can't change that so stop wasting energy being mad.

[–]SLICKlikeBUTTA4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Shit this is so helpful for anxiety and depression but it can be so fucking complicated individually. People you're not alone. It's something you have to work on. You don't need a therapist to Google CBT. This is the very general idea of CBT. Your emotions start with your thoughts. Your thoughts create your emotions. Something you have to work at controlling all together.

[–]Terdmuffin2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

IMO thoughts/emotions are a two way street. You can let your emotions drive your thoughts, which then drives your emotions, which then drives your thoughts. Like when you get into it with someone at work and spend the next half hour pissed off having stupid made up arguments in your head. This is letting your emotions drive your thoughts. When you realize this and let it go and focus on having positive thoughts then your thoughts are driving your emotion. It's important to realize not only what your emotional state is, but how you got there in the first place.

[–]garyvdm10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Quick fix: breathe

Stronger, more effective fix, but to will take much more effort: practice meditation. It's lifting for your brain.

I recommend the Waking Up app for guidance. I've been practicing for 7 months, and already I have much better control over my emotions.

[–]rendezvous19932 points33 points  (23 children) | Copy

Watch the 2nd presidential debate from 2016 and pay close attention to Trump's body language and notice how he breathes during the debate.

[–]Dig12139 points40 points  (20 children) | Copy

Whether you like or hate trump, he is probably one of the pinnacles of BDE and RP principals. One of the strongest fucking frames on earth, whether it’s right or wrong you can’t deny it’s strength

[–]uptimex5 points6 points  (14 children) | Copy

Hey, what are BDE and RP principles? I just tried to research, couldn't find much.

[–]rnsbrum7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

Essentially its being stoic and masculine. Think of the masculine as order and feminine as chaos. The feminine is emotional and all over the place, it needs the masculine to be stable and rational, rather than reactive.

[–]uptimex4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Am I correct?
BDE - Big Dick Energy
RP - just Red Pill principles (I got confused because I thought it must be TRP)

[–]screenmagnet0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Trump is incredibly reactive, though. He’s the opposite of stoic, and he embodies chaos.

Stoic is...Mueller, Mitch McConnell, Mark Warner (senate intelligence committee), Mike Pence, John Kelly, etc. Those guys.

U.S. presidents and presidential candidates are rarely super stoic, because the electorate (sadly) interprets that as boring, and stoic candidates get less media coverage. The most stoic one in the past 50 years is probably Obama, actually, and he was still fairly flashy in his style.

Maybe Cheney, too, but I’m not sure if sociopathy is quite the same thing...

[–]Vikraman116 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Big Dick Energy?

[–]uptimex2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Resting Penis?

[–]TheStumblingWolf-4 points-3 points  (8 children) | Copy

You should use the sidebar, that's why it's there.

[–]uptimex6 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy

Ok, I tried to use the sidebar, found the glossary but couldn't find there any BDE or RP.

[–]uptimex-3 points-2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Please elaborate. For dummies. How to use sidebar and why to use it?

[–]Project_Zero_Betas5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy

There's a youtube video on Trump and how he manages frame (The channel was "Something-Charisma," I forget the first part), well worth the view.

[–]Redy4Action8 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy

Charisma on Command?

[–]Project_Zero_Betas2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

[–]Ill_mumble_that0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Charisma on command guy has a weak frame. He relies on smiling and looking cutesy too much. Gay guys love him.

Dilbert guy Scott Adams has written a much better analysis.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I haven't actually seen any of CoC "live" videos, but agreed, Scott Adams' analysis of DJT has been spot on.

[–]faustian_talos1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]mojokabobo8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

I combat negative emotional states with positive ones. If something happens that could make me sad, I dig deep within my heart/soul to find SOMETHING happy or positive that can be taken from the whole experience. If someone says something that I ought to react angrily to.. I openly, gleefully, and sometimes mockingly laugh outrightly in their face about it. Why would I sacrifice the power of my freedom of choice to someone else, by allowing them be able to make me mad!?

It's much more delightful to see a stunned look of confusion on someone's face when you burst into laughter where most people would crumble. I live for that look of confusion.

[–]throwawaytrpguy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's pretty neat

[–]Davidskylarkk5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

It's not that you want to make decisions without emotions, that is actually impossible...

You want to make decisions without an overwhelming emotion one way or the other.

Take a couple breaths and go with your gut unless you have the time to make a list of pros and cons...

[–]biezpiens0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'd say have emotions and make decisions just don't make them based on emotions. use logic instead.

[–]beachbbqlover16 points17 points  (1 child) | Copy

Atheist morals:

  • You are a bald monkey on a wet rock in space. Your problems, your opinions, and your situation are merely a minor inconvenience in your 80 year journey so you can learn to fucking deal with your problems better.
  • Yelling makes you a belligerent asshole of a bald monkey.
  • Other bald monkeys are also unimportant, stupid, and need to hear nice things to make them happy. Don't have high expectations, and try to be nice. When you die, what you did and their memory of you will be the only part of you left.
  • You have two ears and one mouth.

[–]fds_14 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Actions don't upset me. My beliefs do." The problem isn't that bad shit happens and you react badly, the problem is you assume life will be perfect.

[–]boy_named_su2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Read some Epictetus bro

[–]goomerall32 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

Increase testosterone

[–]JyoungPNG[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Naturally through workouts or through supplements too?

[–]goomerall32 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Naturally. Listen to my advice and it will work. I went from 700 to 815 ng/dl in no time.

Eat lots of fat. Lift 4 times a week. Avoid carbs and sugar. Avoid alcohol and especially, beer. Don't eat nuts except macadamia and cashews. No sesame seeds either. This way for sure your testosterone will go up.

[–]JyoungPNG[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

What about running? I play competitive soccer and have to stay somewhat trim to retain speed and agility. I don’t the chemical side of things very well but how does running affect testosterone?

[–]goomerall30 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Running might actually lower testosterone. Lifting builds muscles which is connected to testosterone levels.

Also, eat foods rich in zinc, magnesium and iodine. These are the best boost for Testosterone.

[–]abratoki2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy


I am completely can relate to this. I know myself being over emotional at times in the past where emotions controlled my actions and I felt like there was nothing I could do about it.

One thing that really helped me was meditation. Not only it helped me regain emotional balance but in time I was able to separate myself from the emotion itself and observe what I am feeling and why I am feeling in a certain way in a given situation.

I have been using headspace and it helped me tremendously - specifically targetting issues with a series of guided meditations.

[–]scarbowx3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Take a deep breath and think about the word discipline

[–]furcryingoutloud1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Teach yourself not to react, ever. Obviously, I am not talking about instances like a truck barreling towards you at 100 or medical or other emergencies that need swift action.

Give yourself some time to analyze whatever this problem is. First question to ask yourself is whether this specific problem has an immediate solution. Problems that many people label as an emergency are usually never true emergencies. Don't make any of them an emergency.

Is it something that needs a call to 911? No? then you have time to think about it.

What are the possible solutions that my actions could give this problem? And what is the best one of them. For this, you need time to think about it.

Never, ever answer or respond or otherwise do something about a problem while you're emotional. Give yourself at least a few hours and as much as 3 days to decide what the best response would be to this specific problem.

Realize that the problem's repercussions are not going to be immediate and you always have time to react in a better way than running around like a chicken with your head cutoff.

[–]Soon_As_I_Nut1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Learn to understand your emotions deeply in all situations, not just in situations which you deem undesirable. Even if you can think logically in those situations this is a great skill to have.

[–]Sin-Silver1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Sit down and write out your thought process. Do graphs, images, flow carts whatever. The act of physically putting it to paper will help your logical side take over.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Journals are just as productive.

[–]bigdaddypapadad3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

What makes you think emotionally? I can pretty much naturally switch, I used to be a little more emotional but now I just kind of shut it down. You should be able to control your reactions to things.

[–]momomotorboat0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Doing lots of things that require discipline and delayed gratification can help. It's not everything, but it def makes a difference.

[–]umizumiz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The Untethered Soul

Read it.

[–]escapethesolarsystem0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don't try to suppress your emotions, just let them be (they are normal). Just develop the ability to look outside your emotion and see the big picture. Treat the emotional part of you kind of like Bruce Banner treats the hulk - let it out when it's useful and keep it down when it's going to cause a problem.

[–]jm510 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


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