Pornography Isn't The Problem - It's a Symptom.

As I've started to notice some of r/NoFap leaking over here, I thought we'd have a discussion about pornography and the effects of its use on the male since the dawn of the internet age.

First, let's disregard the moral "it's all bad" stance. Even if I would support a society that made prostitution legal before porn, it's silly to to suggest that it's all filmed sex is female exploitation. There are some women who gladly choose this because they love the attention, and there are some women who are exploited by a need for drugs, or unresolved mental issues. Nevertheless, this discussion is not about morality, and my concern is not with the creators and performers in porn, but the men that use it.

As men, we use various stimuli to hide from our problems. This can be excessive consumption of alcohol, an addiction to sugar, playing video games with all your free time, or watching porn for 6 hours a day. I think most people living in the modern age have issues, we're living in a chaotic society and are hyperstimulated. To not have some kind of mental hangup or distraction to overcome would be the real strange behavior. We're all in the same struggle, the difference is which ones can overcome it.

A man that strikes out at a bar (or doesn't feel like putting in the effort to snag a woman that night) and fires up a clip on RedTube to get himself off before bed isn't in any danger of becoming an "addict." The process probably takes about 30 minutes. Regular ejaculation is good for your body. Beating off a few times a week before bed isn't going to drain your ultra masculine alpha sperm chakra (sorry NoFap) or turn you into a sex fiend. This is a normal, healthy release of pent up sexual energy.

A man that avoids social obligations because of porn has a problem. A man that is late for work because he was up too late downloading porn has a problem. A man that has no desire to progress his life in a positive direction because of the comforts of porn has a problem. But, the fact is that you can exchange porn for "alcohol" or "video games" and have the meaning remain the same. It's the problem of comfortable distraction.

Porn isn't the problem, it's a symptom.

That's what we're here to talk about.

Excessive use of pornography is a symptom of more underlying issues. It's an underlying issue of unhappiness, loneliness, and stagnation. Men are addicted to the relief pornography brings them in a world ruled by chaos and uncertainty. It's a safe haven, a place to retreat and experience a good feeling (an orgasm) instead of the painful sting of a miserable existence. Men that aren't able to quit over-consumption of pornography do it for the same reason they aren't able to stick to a gym regimen and clean diet. The reason? Change is fucking hard!

When you start the beginnings of TRP or anything life changing, it's hard. If you have the (sometimes) unfortunate gift of seeing things as they are, you can't climb back out of the rabbit hole. We've all had this experience. You fail to kick things like pornography, video games, and fast food because the reality you're actually offered compared to the one you thought you'd inherit growing up differs too much from the ideal of your dreams. Imagine growing up thinking you're inheriting a fortune, but it turns out to be $300. Now the beautiful tapestry of a stress-free wealthy life with a beautiful wife and kids has been unwoven. It's happened to all of us. This is the state of modernity. You evolve or die.

If you're having trouble with occasional pornography or feel guilty using it, it's time to let that feeling go. Jerking off once in a while to naked women isn't going to drag you into an insidious underworld of lecherous depravity. However, if you're spending 4 hours a night downloading clips and filling up terabytes worth of HDs, it's time to think about a change. Why are you doing this? Is it really pornography that makes you genuinely happy, or is it the escape from your problems that's the actual comfort? Do you find serenity in collecting gigabytes of porn clips, or is it just easier than facing your issues and changing your life?

Despite your views about women, maybe they've been awful to you or haven't even acknowledged your existence at all, let me remind you that the world is still a wondrous place without them. Adventure awaits you, fortune favors the bold. Wasting your life playing 12 hour video games marathons, gorging on fast food, and watching porn for hours because of how women have treated you or frustrated you is a huge mistake, because life has so many more experiences to offer that don't have anything to do with pussy. I'm sure you've listened to a Mozart recording, but have you heard it performed by a world-class symphony orchestra? I bet you're familiar with Michelangelo, but have you been to Italy and stood before his monumental works? There are great pictures of Mount Whitney, but have you ever dared to mount its summit? Let me tell you bud, the air at the top of a mountain tastes better than any woman I've had the pleasure of being with.

I don't care if you become a MGTOW and disregard women, because while I don't think that's the way to true joy in life, this isn't about changing your ways to get laid. I want you to change for the simple fact that wasting your life distracted by stupid worldly things is going to come back and haunt you when it's too late to make a change.

Now, for some bad news. We are biologically driven to procreate. There's no such thing as a "cure" for the feelings and desires you get from looking at naked women via pornography. The fact that some men consider a naked woman a "trigger" is ridiculous. Considering how many men love science on these boards, it's strange that you can't appreciate nature working its magic. You should feel triggered for a sexual release when you see a naked woman. These are the feelings that drive you to the gym, that motivate you to succeed, and what's kept civilization going for thousands of years. MGTOW will not save you from the urge to have sex. Think of it this way: the left of the spectrum is complete animalistic lust and sleeping with any woman that moves, and the right is trying to trick your brain into believing that women are useless and vile and you're above such simple creatures. The ideal is somewhere in the middle. The goal is not to find a cure for your sexual desires, but to learn how to manage the symptoms.

For someone like me that's been fully red for a long time now, maybe you're not aware of how rough the roads are that I've had to cross before I came to an acceptance of current reality. It's a long, bitter trip. TRP is not milk for crying babies. Maybe you're newly 30 and regret wasting your 20s doing nothing. But, assuming that youth would solve your problems is an illusion of those who have lost it. Idealism of "what might've been" is a false thing we cling onto so we don't have to change in the present. We think back to the times we missed out on something clever to say, failed to capitalize on a sexual opportunity, or all the women we could've had sex with if we just knew back then. We daydream assuming that someday we'll get back to the past if we just wait long enough. My friend, I'm here to tell you that no matter how hard you think back, no matter what photos you stare at, clinging to the past is a mistake that's going to rob you of what life you have left.

Consider The Aeneid. Virgil's epic poem is one I consider a must-read book for men. This quote has always served me aptly when I catch myself falling back into the past.

Death twitches my ear; 'Live,' he says... 'I'm coming.

It's hard to accept TRP as the truth when you feel like your entire life has been spent as a victim of a conspiracy. The movies you've watched, the books you've read, the ideals from television, and the advice from your family have prepared you for an unreal life. You have to discover for yourself that all you've read about, all you've been told, and all you've imagined has been a lie. Each discovery will feel like another nail driven into the body on the cross of your old life. It's only by wading through this storm of bitter disillusionment that you find a sense of truth and meaning.

If any of this post resonates with you, maybe it's time to change. Don't mistake your sexuality as a biological annoyance, don't mistake indecision as freedom from conformity, and don't mistake your idleness as some kind of philosophic calm. The clock is ticking, the past isn't coming back, and the only way to kick your true addiction, the comfort(s) of distraction, is to forge yourself into a new person through the trials and tribulations that go with being a man.

Don't be afraid to re-create yourself. Life is great over here. Won't you join me, old sport?