Q4A: How Do You Conceptualize The Difference Between Being Dominant and Controlling

Gravel_Roads · 2019-07-29T18:03:27+00:00

Controling is someone who has power over another.

Dominant is the person who people give power over themselves to.

Wandos7 · 2019-07-29T15:23:19+00:00

While watching a Blossom clip right before Blossom kissed her love interest he turned into her father which made me realize women don't want men who are too controlling. However men still can't be spineless so how do you conceptualize the difference?

Nice story. I was watching Tentacle Beast Invasion 6 and right before the monster inseminates the main character she develops ahaegao face and heart shaped pupils and it made me realize women will never truly love us men because we only have one penile appendage as compared with the dozens possessed by a tentacle Youma

nevomintoarce · 2019-07-29T10:38:55+00:00

Dominant people persuade

Controlling people force

Gravel_Roads · 2019-07-29T11:26:54+00:00

Dominant means a lot of things, depending on the circumstances, so "domination" and "control" can be synonymous.

For the topic, though, I'd say the difference is generally "dominant" is a state of being -- a dominant person stands out above his peers because of his frame; he is a leader and he exercises his control by "leading" - in that he's the one shouldering the most responsibility, works the hardest and is responsible for keeping the group on task and motivated.

A controlling person just wants to be in control - whether or not they inspire control or are good leader is irrelevant. Being controlling doesn't suggest anything about whether that control is to anyone's benefit.

Tomatoccino · 2019-07-29T10:41:41+00:00

My father always said controlling people are weak. To dominate you need to be strong, have integrity, lead from the front and by example.

Mr_Smoogs · 2019-07-29T13:09:31+00:00

Inspiring someone to do something is different than motivating them to do something.

You can motivate someone via threat. Inspiring someone to do something is possible because that person respects your position within whatever dominance hierarchy you reside.

zayelion · 2019-07-29T18:39:59+00:00

Respect personal boundaries.

Female_urinary_maze · 2019-07-31T10:41:26+00:00

A dominant person in the vanilla sense is simply willing and able to make decisions and to take initiative. The dominant vanilla person will ask you out for dinner at a place of their choosing. They're not going to flip out if you say no or would rather go to a different place, they're just taking initiative.

A person can also be Dominant in the kinky sense which is to take control of a submissive person in some pre-negotiated way for the purposes of their mutual gratification. The kinky Dominant might tell you not to wear panties when the two of you go out to dinner, because both of you are into wardrobe control.

A controlling person is not only willing to make decisions, they feel entitled to making all of the decisions. They will fight and manipulate people to stay in control of a situation. A controlling person tells you your friends are toxic because you're busy hanging out with friends on a night when the controlling person wants you to go out for dinner with them.

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TheJim66 · 2019-07-29T10:46:31+00:00

Controlling is overt

Dominant is covert.

sadomasochrist · 2019-07-29T13:07:38+00:00

Outcome independence\abundance is how TRP interprets this.

Controlling is basically dominance framed with dependence on outcome.

So you want her to do XYZ and if that doesn't work, you'll be miserable. So all you can do is double down.

Instead, you want her to do XYZ and if that doesn't work, then you'll find a way around that outside of her or accept that this isn't something she'll do.

In my controlling days, if she didn't put out I would sulk and cojool her into it. Now she knows if she doesn't, someone else will. IOW dread.

This clip is not clear, he seems more anxious\needy than controlling. What behaviors are you actually interested in understanding\debating? Just because again, this clip isn't even remotely approaching the kind of stuff I'd think you're actually interested\worried about.

rosyandthemachine · 2019-07-29T14:45:06+00:00

dominance means they can't be controlled. controlling means they dominate others.

jonascf · 2019-07-29T18:53:19+00:00

A person that is controling is often fueled by some form of anxiety and they are constantly on their guard against losing what control they have. A dominant person leads because it suits them and they often do their thing with less effort than the person that is merely controling.

Title	Q4A: How Do You Conceptualize The Difference Between Being Dominant and Controlling
Author	Teh-Voice-of-Reason
Upvotes	6
Comments	29
Date	July 29, 2019 12:30 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/cj3tie/q4a_how_do_you_conceptualize_the_difference/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4a-how-do-you-conceptualize-the-difference.254697 https://theredarchive.com/post/254697

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