We need more shaming to make younger men better in bed

Eastuss · 2019-07-16T14:03:40+00:00

Like that's not already the case...? I'm 30 year old and even when I was 10 I could perceive this persistent shaming of men who are bad at sex or who have tiny penises. To me it was always here and is even worse nowadays. Maybe it's too loud for men to even care anymore. The "real sex is not like porn" is also something I've heard since the beginning.

And IRL who does complain that men are bad at sex? Girls who never masturbated, never reached orgasm by themselves, and don't know their body, what they like, or whatever....

While I believe there are enough men who aren't good enough for women's standards (just like in any female standards), there is also this misconception that men are the only ones responsible for women's pleasure. Some women have sexual and mental issues and should go to a doctor, it's not the man's responsibility to fix it either.

Sometimes people are just not mechanically compatible, sometimes some women aren't even designed to feel any pleasure in any way.

Why do they say yes to sex with people bad in bed? I have no idea.

How can they even possibly know without trying??

I_AM_ACTUALLY_DUMB · 2019-07-16T14:32:40+00:00

CMV: the average woman isnt any better at sex than the average guy.

Female_urinary_maze · 2019-07-16T14:33:27+00:00

The solution to ignorance isn't to shame people, it's to educate them. Your idea isn't just cruel, it's inefficient. Telling a guy he's bad at sex and watches too much porn tells him absolutely nothing about what you actually want from him in the bedroom. Thinking that sex should be like porn is a symptom of not knowing enough about how to have good sex, removing the porn from the equation won't treat the larger issue.

On the other hand if he's not willing to learn he really should be ashamed of that, and hopefully dumping his ass will have that affect.

AngelFire_3_14156 · 2019-07-16T14:05:23+00:00

I don't think that shaming is ever a good idea.

First, I agree that there are a lot of guys out there that think they're great but are absolutely horrible.

A better method is rejection. Just tell them that they're terrible in bed and that you want better. If you want, you can tell them that they can either learn to do better or they're history.

Either way I think they'll get the message and learn their lesson fast.

Edited for clarity.

undeadko · 2019-07-16T14:07:14+00:00

No we don't. You people seem to not grasp the concept of how to be successful.

Step 1: Find out what it is people want and how to give it.

Step 2: Practice it.

Step 3: ...

crackrocksteady7 · 2019-07-16T14:14:55+00:00

I'm also a believer in telling their parents and family members about it. If their moms raised a porn addicted guy who can't please a woman in bed she should have to tell her son not to and she should be able to face the consequences. If he doesn't want mom to know he shouldn't be like this in the first place. Their moms need to know and their dads need to know. They raised them so their parents should feel the shame as well.

what the fuck lol

im curious, how do you feel about telling the parents of camwhores/pornstars what their daughters are doing

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qantuum · 2019-07-16T14:07:29+00:00

question : how do you get better if you don't train?

instead of focusing on "being good" or "performance", it would be better to shame them for "not listening to your needs" or something like that.

What makes men bad in bed, is their making or false assumptions about how it's done. Maybe for some it's forgetting foreplay too much. Some others want to last long at all prices when their partner just loves a quickie. Some take it too sloppy and behave like starfishes (ew). Some would come juicefully very fast, and go straight to the shower, leaving their partner alone in a time like this.

For most young fellows, porn is the educational stuff... Let the women become this education : you have to start somewhere, right?

For older fellows, the problem may be deeper though, but I cannot seem to address a solution lol.

Personally, I did have my disappointing moments, but I tried to learn from them. I do some foreplay. I try to build a tension. I try my best every time, as much as my arms and legs' muscles can handle... At some point it's getting very difficult.

Also, I don't know at all how I would behave in a LTR, since I never had one longer than 1yr.

Anyways, as an INFP I'm just idealistic and not practical at all haha hoho.

PS : Also, keep in mind that the natural and biological incentive of sex, is to offer an offspring to our genes.

From this point of view, no matter what the humans performing it feel on the very moment of the act, as long as the seed is shoot.

HottentotGenius · 2019-07-16T14:23:41+00:00

I've got an easier idea.

Women could just tell guys how they want it and mean it.

Telling our moms you didn't cum last night would probably get you smacked or at least a hard side eyeing

NiceGuyNumber4 · 2019-07-16T14:00:49+00:00

Women need to learn to give themselves orgasms. Every 14 year old boy can do it, but 30 year old women need vibrating robo-dicks and feminist books on clitoral empowerment to get off.

I'd say to take accountability for your own bodies, but I know the "a" word doesn't sit well with y'all.

poppy_blu · 2019-07-16T14:25:05+00:00

The average man was bad in bed long before there was ever internet porn. Sorry millennials, this is one pity party I’m gonna have to call bullshit on.

If anything, men get better with each generation because women demand more.

i_have_a_semicolon · 2019-07-16T14:47:12+00:00

Why do you think giving respectful, empathetic, constructive feedback wouldn't solve the problem just as well if not better than cruelly shaming?

Edit: also your post lacks empathy for men. I empathize with men who have trouble getting me off. It's easy for me, because I have access to my own mind. He doesn't. So he's at a disadvantage and I need to give it my best to bridge the gap between his inability to read my mind and what is currently going through it.

Tyler_Gatsby · 2019-07-16T14:50:41+00:00

As bad as I hate to admit it, I think MGTOWkapow is right about a lot to most women don't really care about sexual satisfaction. They're in the relationship for the comfort and validation, and everything else they can't provide themselves.

She can always read some erotica, and diddle herself with a toy, or find the perfect setting with her hand shower wand to do the trick. Then just go cuddle up on the couch beside him.

Don't get me wrong, women usually appreciate it when they get a good lover, it's just not something they run into often, or care enough about in itself to seek out. She cares more about how her FB and Instagram profiles look with what he brings to the table.

passepar2t · 2019-07-16T14:53:47+00:00

Have you ever had sex with anyone, ever?

Emervila · 2019-07-16T14:57:13+00:00

how about if we also shame women? those who just lay down on the bed face up and do nothing but just wait one makes all the effort.

The reason some men are bad in bed s bc they lack of experience and women won't tell what they like so they go to porn to try to figure it out and repeat.

Instead of shaming, let's communication. I've seen some youtube channels and even videos on porn sites on how to eat pussy and stuff more real but women need to get involved in the solution they are not gods to be only pleased.

officerkondo · 2019-07-16T15:02:39+00:00

I'm Millennial but INTJ

Hi, I'm Gen X but Virgo.

Look, if you don't like the way you're getting fucked, it's easy.: you tell the person who is fucking you about it.

I'm also a believer in telling their parents and family members about it

Why would you believe in doing this? Would you also believe in telling parents that their daughter's a thot who hands out chlamydia like candy? If not, why not?

goatismycopilot · 2019-07-16T14:33:01+00:00

No lots of men are bad in bed this is not a younger man problem.

Title	We need more shaming to make younger men better in bed
Author	skystar86
Upvotes	0
Comments	84
Date	July 16, 2019 1:54 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/cdxcaq/we_need_more_shaming_to_make_younger_men_better/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/we-need-more-shaming-to-make-younger-men-better-in.254888 https://theredarchive.com/post/254888

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