What are the main reasons you would/have flaked on a date?

datfishd00d · 2019-05-14T21:52:14+00:00

I have never flaked on a date, but I have cut off men who I planned on going on a date, because they got creepy, sexual, or showed strong lack of empathy or lack of social skills.

LimbRetrieval-Bot · 2019-05-14T23:04:55+00:00

I did it once but idk if it counts as flaking. I had online dating fatigue -- that feeling where you're like "oh my god everyone on this website is a narcissistic shyster shitbag" and you don't want to take out your general frustration on specific people with whom you might otherwise match nicely (I'm sure those of you who have internet dated know what I mean).

I explained the situation to the dude really directly and he was ok with canceling the date.

We ended up going out a few weeks later. Really interesting guy, felt like there was mad chemistry, he never called me again... but did try to pick me up at the gym a couple months later. Dating. ¯\(ツ)/¯

Young_Oryx · 2019-05-14T22:07:21+00:00

Not really a date, but one time I flaked on hanging out with a guy I kinda liked on his one night in town (he wasn't in town to see me, just happened to be in town and wanted to hang out/probably bone) because I found out my friend was having a party and that my now-husband was going to be there.

So, I guess I would flake if I had the opportunity to spend time with another guy I liked more.

Other than that, I would probably flake if I were ill, if I had a personal/family emergency, or if I found out a major red flag before the date (like, say, I found out the guy's married).

pngmafia97 · 2019-05-15T01:33:48+00:00

Last minute time conflict

Health emergency

Not feeling social

FinchRosemta · 2019-05-15T01:49:43+00:00

Flaking is in the Top 5 worse sins for me. I don't tolerate it. I never do it.

2019-05-15T00:27:44+00:00

Pretty much any red flag that I consider unacceptable and some emergency.

2019-05-15T23:58:10+00:00

Every time I've done this it's because the dude got creepy or weird via text beforehand. One guy launched into a long, weird, and utterly out of the blue rant about how great sex is absolutely necessary for a good relationship -- I don't disagree, but he shoehorned it into the conversation very badly, very early on. Another guy invited me to his apartment to watch a movie and was resistant about doing anything else so I ghosted and woke up to a series of sexually explicit text messages about things he'd like to do to me.

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SqueaksScreech · 2019-05-15T02:36:21+00:00

My main reasons would be that they're captain save a hoe and or pull the "I know you're broken and been hurt before" white knight bullshit. Other reasons would that they have a creepy fetish, they're creepy, they pull the "I'm such a nice guy and no one will date this tender heart. You are so beautiful it would be an honor to take a beauty such as yourself on a date" 😛🔫

2019-05-14T23:03:40+00:00

Usually it is because I am just not that interested, but I have also flaked on dates because I had child care duties, I had no car and he wanted to meet somewhere outside of walking distance, I had a cold sore, or girl friends of mine passed on incriminating information that made me think twice about the guy.

flamingoinghome · 2019-05-15T06:00:19+00:00

If I was feeling sick, or PROFOUNDLY antisocial.

2019-05-15T12:41:25+00:00

Getting stage 5 clinger vibes before the first date, simply just lost interest (nothing personal), knowing their friend and having said friend say something unsavory.

GridReXX · 2019-05-15T14:17:52+00:00

Tired / laziness

SmurfESmurferson · 2019-05-15T17:01:39+00:00

Because I wasn't really feeling him to begin with, and the guy I was actually smitten with asked me out

2019-05-18T03:49:12+00:00

There were times when I had a rough week and felt I looked bloated, so I flaked. Usually, I can feel someone's growing desperation and eagerness to see me and that will make me flake/ghost as well. That includes when we have a date set (met online) and solid plans and in between, you're texting my ass morning noon and night "Hey how's your morning?" "How was your day?" "What are you up to" etc. I immediately regret my decision and will likely just block you at that point.

2019-05-18T03:49:32+00:00

There were times when I had a rough week and felt I looked bloated, so I flaked. Usually, I can feel someone's growing desperation and eagerness to see me and that will make me flake/ghost as well. That includes when we have a date set (met online) and solid plans and in between, you're texting my ass morning noon and night "Hey how's your morning?" "How was your day?" "What are you up to" etc. I immediately regret my decision and will likely just block you at that point.

2019-05-18T03:51:20+00:00

There were times when I had a rough week and felt I looked bloated, so I flaked. Usually, I can feel someone's growing desperation and eagerness to see me and that will make me flake/ghost as well. That includes when we have a date set (met online) and solid plans and in between, you're texting my ass morning noon and night "Hey how's your morning?" "How was your day?" "What are you up to" etc. I immediately regret my decision and will likely just block you at that point.

2019-05-18T03:51:48+00:00

There were times when I had a rough week and felt I looked bloated, so I flaked. Usually, I can feel someone's growing desperation and eagerness to see me and that will make me flake/ghost as well. That includes when we have a date set (met online) and solid plans and in between, you're texting my ass morning noon and night "Hey how's your morning?" "How was your day?" "What are you up to" etc. I immediately regret my decision and will likely just block you at that point.

slavicgypsygirl · 2019-05-20T17:17:05+00:00

I flake on dates bc of jobs which men expect & understand about my industries

2019-05-22T09:03:09+00:00

I’ve never been stood up from OLD but recently I kinda made a dick move. She was older, a fun person but didn’t fit my idea of hot cougar. Not fat but not skinny enough. So I flaked last minute on our would be third date and blamed the rain.

2019-05-15T03:14:37+00:00

Do you mean flake as in cancel, or no call/no show? I don't think I've stood anyone up, but I've def cancelled because I wasn't feeling social, found better plans, or something about the dude was making me uneasy.

Definitely dodged a few bullets too, have had my share of insults and threats.

nevomintoarce · 2019-05-15T06:00:55+00:00

Acne breakout.

2019-05-15T10:57:04+00:00

the most common reason for me was that on the day of the date i just didn't feel like climbing out of bed and doing my hair and makeup and being social lol. or back when i was serial dating for fun i'd stupidly plan a lot of dates for after i'd just gotten off of work and a lot of the time i'd be like "wait, im fucking exhausted and wanna just go home and disassociate??" and i'd cancel

until ive actually met a guy he's pretty much just words on a screen and i don't feel bad about ghosting

2019-05-14T22:23:25+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2019-05-15T00:36:54+00:00

Social anxiety, usually.

KikiYuyu · 2019-05-15T03:11:32+00:00

Probably stress. I don't think I would say yes to a date if I wasn't hopeful about things working out, so If I felt overwhelmed I might panic and bail.

Title	What are the main reasons you would/have flaked on a date?
Author	CamoWoobie10000
Upvotes	2
Comments	64
Date	May 14, 2019 7:33 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/bonf0h/what_are_the_main_reasons_you_wouldhave_flaked_on/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-are-the-main-reasons-you-wouldhave-flaked-on.255772 https://theredarchive.com/post/255772

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