“We thought it was Creative Writing... it turned out to be Mathematics.”

YetAnotherCommenter · 2018-11-19T13:02:07+00:00

Why do you think society gives out such misleading advice?

Ego-preservation and social stabilization. If a lot of men knew they were essentially hopeless or that the cost of getting sex would be extreme for them, they'd be very angry and Angry Disenfranchised Young Men can be (or are at least thought to be) a threat to society. In addition, the "there's a woman out there for you" speech preserves his ego at least in the short run, whilst also preserving her ego through perpetuating the idea that women are less shallow than men.
Preservation of female privilege/chivalry. If more men knew they had little chance, they'd be less benevolent towards women. Ergo, it is in women's interests to keep the lies alive.
Filtering out the 'spergs and those otherwise lacking in social dexterity/social typicality. People with very literal, abstract temperaments and those who "aren't good with people" are likely to be less good at working within groups. The evolutionary environment, however, was tribal and thus selected for social cohesion and charisma, and against social outliers and atypicals. Creating complex webs of tacit social norms that are almost never explicitly explained, perhaps through social norms which explicitly state "just be a nice guy and you'll do okay" yet tacitly are "I don't want to fuck you," serves two purposes... it both screens out those lacking in social talents, and gives those people a false hope that keeps them supplying niceness (see point 2). So as such, keeping the lies alive is also in women's genetic interests by the selection standards of the evolutionary environment (arguably not in today's environment however).

Honestly, point 3 is the one I wish I didn't believe, and I know I was once more skeptical of it than I am now. However, I've began to accept it more and more over time because it is the only theory that explains why there is so much hostility towards basically any explicit dating advice for men which isn't just a recitation of feminist tropes and silly cliches. Its also disturbingly consistent with the feminist war on 'nerd culture' that's happened over the past several years.

But point 2 is a huge one as well. And it is interrelated with point 1; the idea that women's sexuality is more noble and 'high-minded' than men's is a core ingredient of female privilege/benevolent sexism/chivalry.

Workaholico · 2018-11-19T12:45:55+00:00

Culture is slow to adapt.

Look around you, religion is still a thing and people get mad when they break a mirror.

It will take centuries to take away this, and we will not be alive to see this.

saucerwizard · 2018-11-19T19:56:36+00:00

Misleading information basically keeps the autists and uggos sealed off from worthy society. Its eugenic although women will never admit to such things (‘OMG IM SO PROGRESSIVE AND CARING U GUISE’).

Plus it keeps these guys throwing their time and money away for womens benefit.

mylittlemagic · 2018-11-20T03:39:38+00:00

Why do you think society gives out such misleading advice? Attraction isn’t mysterious in the slightest. I wish it was. And more equitable too. But it’s not.

Who does this serve?

And I suppose I should backtrack somewhat and ask if anyone does think there is someone out there for everyone

Maybe I am just jaded, but you put way to much stock in peoples ability and capacity to reason. Most people in our society either don't have the capacity to connect basic logical truths together, don't have the interest to do so, or don't have the self-reflection to empathize with other people and lastly, like u/YetAnotherCommenter said, benefit from the system and lies in place and don't have any incentive to try and correct it for people who are not themselves.

Your post, and I am not trying to wax poetic or make you feel good about yourself, puts you in the tiny percentage of people who even realize this.

TheKarmicWoosh · 2018-11-19T12:51:06+00:00

We live in a global community now. Your ancestors had very few opportunities to reproduce compared to your potential today. Hell you could meet more people in a week then they did their entire lives. If youre a 3 in this tribe, skip town to Thailand and become a 6. We are just advanced apes. Smart enough to fool nature but not smart enough to have our cake and eat it too, especially if its made with HFCS.

goatismycopilot · 2018-11-19T13:45:27+00:00

I actually do not believe there is somebody out there for everybody, I do think that is something we tell people to placate them. Having said that men who want a partner, a relationship can find a woman if they are realistic. But if you just want to bang chicks then yup you will have to work harder because the pool of chicks who just want casual sex and no relationship duties is very small and it is temporary. There might be some who want to try an ONS once or twice and after that lots of them are done, they thought it would be fun and found it less than fun. That is reality. I know some dudes here are going to tell me they have an endless stream of bangmaidens who want to jump on them and okay that is great for them but they are not most men.

Lots of adult life advice about how to get ahead of the crowd is nnot much fun. Unless you are wealthy and connected most people are going to have to be very smart and hard working and a bit lucky to do well in the corporate world, they tend to put in more hours and have a better grasp of office politics, they develop a skill, find a mentor, listen to their advice or learn to emulate them. The average person is not willing to do that so at a certain piont they reach a plateau in their career.

If you want to be good at a hobby or create a side business you are going to have to put in extra hours, practise, and make some sacrifices. No matter what you want to excel at, be better than average at, requires that kind of intensive effort. That is reality, you either rage at reality or find a way to try and create the path. A few really attractive, wealthy or genius people do not have to do all that but most do. So I don't know why it would be any different if you want to aquire a lot of casual sex.

CatchPhraze · 2018-11-19T11:13:18+00:00

It means their are people with your interests, maybe not interested in you.

Most women never get this idea you don't need to try and be attractive. Past sixth grade were made very intently aware of how attraction and effort regarding it are important to how we're viewed by our peers.

I feel like it's only mostly sheltered men who don't really interact with their peers that are disillusioned that effort towards your attractiveness as a mate isn't necessary and that someone will come along who likes them as they are.

Sometimes someone might come along who accepts you but she isn't going to be the high value you expected because those women put in effort and want the same from their mates.

Theirs someone for everyone to me means as long as your putting in the effort to at least match your peers it does not matter if your into anime, or video games or pottery or birds or cars or sports. You can find a mate who shares those passions. It doesn't mean you'll find someone into fat unemployed entitled man children. Those things aren't a mans passion, their the result of a complete lack of self worth.

Gravel_Roads · 2018-11-19T13:10:47+00:00

This isn't a single-gender issue. Just about everything you're "complaining" that men have to do to score chicks is pretty similar to the sort of non-gender specific shit anyone, men and women have to do to make friends and live a good life. In that yes, it's theoretically "possible" to make friends with literally anyone on the planet... but some people would require a lot of changes in our presentation and behavior more than others. It's a lot easier to make friends with people who already are inclined to share common interests/passions/hobbies/ect. Let's take a look at your list:

"Men Must"...

• Learn or improve your banter

This is useful for all social situations. Banter is how you demonstrate social competency. It's also, y'know... meant to be fun. People who don't know how to banter are tedious in conversations. This isn't just about dating or attracting women, knowing how to banter is useful in all social situations. It's a supremely useful life skill to work on. Don't throw this baby out with the bathwater, it's far more than just a "dating strategy". Women should do this, too.

• Lift weights

RP is using short-hand when it says "lift weights" to generally mean live a healthy lifestyle. Exercise. Take care of yourself. Optimize your body. This is something you should be doing even if you aren't looking for women. Women should do this, too.

• Work on your posture

Why is this even on this list. Duh, if you want to look your best, you should use your best posture. Why the fuck would anyone fight for the right to not have a good posture? It's bad for your spine to have bad posture. That's why bad posture isn't attractive - it looks unhealthy. Have some pride. Women should do this, too.

• Have a thorough understanding of the concept of frame

You don't have to "have a thorough understanding", you have to just be aware of it at all. 'Losing frame' means you are letting yourself be controlled by outside forces. No one says you have to keep frame, only that losing it is not a healthy way to form connections with people. To use RP terms, 'losing frame' is beta behavior, because it depends on someone else's frame to decide your reality for you. Women should be doing this, too.

• Always make yourself your mission (or at least don’t make it anyone else)

Absolutely. Don't make another person the center of your world. If you are dependent on other people's participation, you are giving yourself excuses not to do things for yourself. Go to events alone. Have hobbies that are just for you. Set aside something that you can enjoy even if no one else is around, so that even if you're single, you aren't living an empty life. This is just another way of saying "keep frame". Women should be doing this, too.

• Have other options or act like you do until this becomes reality.

Yes. Abundance mentality is very useful. People who have options tend to be people who don't put pressure on you to be involved. I'm an introvert, so people who get pissy that I won't go with them to social events are huge annoyances. I don't even keep friends with people who don't have "an abundance" of things going on in their life. People who live empty lives tend to be needy, socially. Women should be doing this, too.

Who does this serve?

Doing these things serves people who want to move upward in the social market place. People who don't do these things tend to be bottom-tier crullers with poor people skills (this applies to both men and women.) If you are not interested in upward mobility, that's fine -- none of these behaviors are required by law. But you're living in Rome, atm. If you want to advance in Roman society, you will have to do as the Romans do.

And I suppose I should backtrack somewhat and ask if anyone does think there is someone out there for everyone? And attraction hasn’t been a grand anti-climax propped up by lies?

I don't believe in "soul mates" or any nonsense like that. But I do think it's possible for anyone to potentially find a healthy LTR... if they're willing to put in the work. When people say things like "be yourself", they aren't saying "do nothing at all to improve who you are". They're saying "be authentic, don't be ashamed of the things you like, don't assume you're bad for offering opinions or feelings to your friends". You still have to work! It's hard to remember to be patient, to consider your partner's perspective, to admit when you're wrong, to find a healthy way to bring up problems, to let things go that ultimately aren't important... Being "yourself" isn't static. It's not something you just do once, and then it's done. You have to live your fight every day and work hard every day to keep, nurture and maintain the things you want to keep in your life.

Does this help?

Noxin__Nixon · 2018-11-19T16:45:20+00:00

Or never mind the bollocks and just read Art of Seduction

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Physiologymatters · 2018-11-19T15:29:50+00:00

K so is your arguement that male hierarchies are harder to climb than female hierarchies, or that the existence of hierarchies is denied by society at large?

Aaren_Augustine · 2018-11-19T11:18:31+00:00

And our hardwiring can’t escape them as much as we’d like to.

With discipline we can. Isn't that how you move up the hierarchy?

Also, why not fat chicks? Are they below fucking for TRP? If the answer is an 8 isn't going to give you the time of day, go do a 5. I'd think you'd both go see that new pokemon detective movie together and actually have fun.

Why go to a nightclub? It's like a car salesmen going to biker rally; ain't going to be any takers there.

Title	“We thought it was Creative Writing... it turned out to be Mathematics.”
Author	EdwardBarnes1913
Upvotes	8
Comments	56
Date	November 19, 2018 10:53 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/9yfr4s/we_thought_it_was_creative_writing_it_turned_out/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/we-thought-it-was-creative-writing-it-turned-out.258970 https://theredarchive.com/post/258970

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