This popular article by Matthew Fray asserts that a man's wife divorced him "because he left dishes by the sink" instead of putting them in the dishwasher.  He pleads with husbands to recognize that what's a minor issue for the man is a big thing for the wife.

https://mustbethistalltoride.com/2016/01/14/she-divorced-me-because-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink/

I read an RP response to this by Adam Piggott, saying that _obviously_ the problem is not that he left dishes by the sink, but that he's a beta wimp who failed a shit test.

https://pushingrubberdownhill.com/2016/07/28/a-tale-of-a-miserable-beta-divorce/

Here are two good reasons to believe Fray over Piggott:

  1. Red pill relies heavily on evolutionary psychology: people do something because it feels good.  ("Tingles.")   This is a great model for casual sex, which is just for fun.  It's true: most women in their 20s don't want commitment or bux; they want challenge, fun, and adventure.  But in a marriage with kids, not everything is about lust.
  2. Married women apparently have about 1/2 hour less free time per day than married men.  (https://www.bls.gov/news.release/atus.t03.htm)  I'm sure there is a range of experiences; there are probably some women who have two or three less hours of free time per day than their husband.  Perhaps these are the ones who are most likely to freak out over dishes by the sink.

A common objection to Fray's article is that no sane woman would divorce a man over just a dish.  And I think that, reading between the lines in Fray's articles, there wasn't just one issue in his marriage.  There were many dish-like issues.  Fray's title is trying to be provocative and to make a strong statement.  Had he written an article entitled "she divorced me because I did 20 things wrong," someone would say "oh good, I'm safe because I'm only doing 19 things wrong."  Also, his article wouldn't be popular if it made a weak statement like that.  I'd like to forgive him for the hyperbole.

My claim is that in a marriage with children, beta traits (showing that one cares, doing chores, and taking care of the kids) are much more important than alphaness.  For this reason, the whole idea of "married red pill" has severe limitations.  I acknowledge it is best to be both alpha _and_ beta at the same time, a.k.a. "oak." But overall, most married men who are in danger of divorce need to be more beta, not more alpha.

CMV