Raising my daughter as a feminist would ruin her life.

Littleknownfacts · 2018-01-11T21:26:33+00:00

I don't know how you plan on raising your daughter then without making her weird. Like, she's going to be exposed to it one way or another... And if she takes a liking to it, there is literally nothing you could do to stop her.

IckyStickyPoo · 2018-01-11T21:49:59+00:00

Happy feminist here.

My SO does not have the reins and neither do I. In previous relationships, my husband/SO's tried to grab the reins - it was awful.

If I'd been raised feminist, my life would have run so much easier. I never would have got married too young and as a virgin (huge mistake) and would have never accepted the shit behaviour from my husband that I did (my family's religion said that I must stay with him) and I would have done things so much differently.

storffish · 2018-01-11T21:52:57+00:00

raising your kid to become anything against her will would ruin her life. sounds like you're just trading one absolute for another

shoup88 · 2018-01-11T22:43:47+00:00

Based on your comments, I don't think these feminist ideals you're talking about are all that bad. Get an education, aim to be independent, be aware of specific career challenges you might face: these sound like things most kids would benefit from. (I don't agree with the sports thing and I don't understand how it relates to feminism.)

I think your personal experience seems extremely limited. I'm a feminist woman and I'm very happy. You just have to find the right partner for you.

You might also take comfort in knowing that as hard as you try, your kids are going to be exposed to all sorts of things and your influence can only do so much. Both of my parents emphasized the importance of having fun and not settling down too early, and I'm marrying the first guy I ever fucked. Life's a mystery.

KerPop42 · 2018-01-11T21:32:35+00:00

I could see women who are pushed into the business world feeling unfulfilled. I think the better rule would be to teach her to make her own decisions, know her value as a human, and explore her feelings. Being a stay-at-home mother is perfectly feminist as long as she's doing it of her own volition.

RockinSocksII · 2018-01-11T22:34:20+00:00

Right, I'm so miserable making 6 figures and being with a boyfriend who loves me but understands that I don't like being controlled.

I don't understand how women can be happy having to marry a man to support her and not because she wants to be with him.

Arlybigstickk · 2018-01-11T21:19:55+00:00

so don't let your mother raise her if it bothers you two so much

Entropy-7 · 2018-01-11T22:18:54+00:00

Raise your daughter as a person. Red Pill your daughter: there are some biologically inate differences between men and women, but otherwise we can carve out our own destiny. Teach her frame; that is all the "empowerment" she will need.

goatismycopilot · 2018-01-11T22:19:31+00:00

Nobody cares how you are raising your kid except if they behave badly in public.

xanacop · 2018-01-11T22:52:20+00:00

Yet the women who gave they're spouses the reins are happy.

I disagree with this comment. In marriage, power should be equal and it's about compromise.

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Cho_Assmilk · 2018-01-11T22:47:26+00:00

At best, you can show by example what a traditionalist family is like and hope she decides that's for her. Push her towards anti-feminism and watch her go on down that path.

pinkgoldrose · 2018-01-11T23:03:15+00:00

Should you even be allowed to raise a daughter when you confuse "they're" and "their"?

[deleted] · 2018-01-11T23:18:03+00:00

No, learning about feminism from your mother will absolutely not ruin her life. She will make her own decisions regardless of your mother's influence, and she will find out about feminism one way or another.

If you cut your mother out of your life, your daughter will likely find out why eventually, and when she finds out that the reason she had no relationship with her grandmother growing up is because her father was paranoid that she would be taught some very mild feminist values, she will push back HARD. Kids need their grandparents, and grandparents can be a valuable source of support for both you and her. Don't deprive your child of this relationship just because your mother labels herself with a different ideology than yours.

crumblesnatch · 2018-01-11T23:24:01+00:00

I was raised with the values of: read everything. And I mostly turned out arright.

TheBookOfSeil · 2018-01-12T00:38:18+00:00

Teach her to question and evaluate everything on her own instead.

Title	Raising my daughter as a feminist would ruin her life.
Author	Arlybigstickk
Upvotes	3
Comments	62
Date	January 11, 2018 9:17 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/7prdzh/raising_my_daughter_as_a_feminist_would_ruin_her/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/raising-my-daughter-as-a-feminist-would-ruin-her.264046 https://theredarchive.com/post/264046

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