Men do not respect women, women do not love men. What does this mean?

Defining love

Love is an emotion which brings two people together. There are a variety of (sometimes opposing) reasons which may drive (different types of) love, but the common denominator between all types of love is that it brings two people closer together. The stronger the love, the closer they will be to one another.

Love is a feeling that isn't rational. Logically speaking, a husband would stop loving his wife as soon as she started to nag, criticize, cajole etc because these things drive him away from her (hence his withdrawal). If love followed logic, very few husbands would love their wives. By the same token, parents would stop loving their children when they did things which cause pain to the parents. But love isn't rational, so husbands continue to love their wives and parents continue to love their children.

Love is what drives giving and generosity. Thus, husbands and parents continue to provide for their wives and children even as they stomp their feet and cause emotional pain. Because love is an irrational bond that brings two people closer together.

Defining respect

Respect is earned. You can be loved for no good reason, but you cannot be respected for no good reason. A brain surgeon gets more respect than a regular surgeon because he earned it. A top tier lawyer gets more respect than a regular lawyer. What brings more respect to one person over the other is the level of achievement which earns that respect, what makes one person more loved than the other is the level of closeness to the lover.

Respect is therefore far more logical and rational. There has to be a reason to respect. The person has to earn respect and they can lose their respect when they no longer deserve it because they stopped earning it or because they did something disrespectful. OTOH, love doesn't work that way. A person can still be loved even as they're declared guilty of heinous crimes.

Men own love, women own respect

This is why women are obsessed with confirmation of his love and men have a deep need for her respect.

A woman needs her man to say "I love you", to buy flowers and gifts and for him to continously express his love for her. She expects this regardless of what she does or doesn't bring to the table. She expects it to be unconditional. While true unconditional love doesn't exist, men get pretty close to it in loving their wives. Women instinctively know this and therefore expect him to love her despite all her nagging, criticisms, pms, and any other of her crap he needs to put up with.

A man needs to feel respected by his wife. However, he knows that respect is earned. Therefore, if he isn't being respected, he'll assume that he isn't worthy of it and he'll try harder to earn it. He isn't likely to expect unconditional respect even though her lack of respect hurts him deeply.

This places men at a disadvantage because nagging, criticizing, cajoling, correcting and other forms of disrespect come natural to women. A man can constantly put you in your place, but that's almost guaranteed to wear him down over time. Certainly, you don't want to be a drag on his mental wellbeing. This is why it's so important to find reasons to respect him for the things he deserves respect for and to flaws which can be overlooked.

Conclusion

Men own love and need respect from their wives. Women own respect and need love from their husbands. The more you respect him, the more you reward his love. The more you disrespect him, the further away you'll drive him. Meet his love with respect, nurture his love with your respect. You have the soft power of influence. You can make your home a happy home.

Cheers!