Observation, and Implementation
I have been here for 4 years, 2 as a lurker and 2 as a FNG. I read all these stories about how these men were going through pain and turmoil. and I identified with that, but I didn't Own My Shit. I was better than them you see. I had sex on the regular, My (now) ex wife was doing what I wanted in the bedroom, she didn't fight and yell and scream much anymore. and I thought well I just don't have it as bad as these sad sacks.
(AWALT, gets tossed around but how many of you have been in a similar situation)
How Wrong I was. I introduced her to a friend, because I was always hanging out with him, and she was shit testing me non stop about why I wasn't home. We all started hanging out, it was fine at first. but soon after that she started respecting his opinions. and then she started talking about him A LOT. soon after that she'd ask me, "hey did you see so and so tonight I think he was checking me out/staring/holding eye contact". I told her what I thought she wanted to hear, "maybe he is, I didn't see it but you look good baby". Time goes by, about 6 months. she asked if they could hang out alone, I think sure yeah why not he's a friend to us both. She gets home crying around midnight, "He rejected me". I was beta bluepill comfort boy, why wouldn't she?
(this was beyond the point of no return, ILYBINILWY had done be said and gone. just because she is fucking you doesn't mean she isn't picturing someone else's face.)
The next day she tells me she loves him, and tells me about how she told him that the night before and he shut it down. he calls me at 9 AM and tells me the same thing. so I figure I'm in the clear. What follows is a series of late night hangouts I'm not a part of. following similar patterns and her seeking validation from me because he says no. It's NRE I'm not a part of. After two months of me crying on the couch at home while shes hanging at his house 3 nights a week till 1am. worried , terrified shes fucking him. I grow a pair and say its the marriage or him choose now. We all know what she chose. I don't know if they were fucking, and honestly I don't care. I pulled the trigger on divorce and she fell into substance abuse issues and moved away. divorce was final april of 2019
(It took this, THIS. I am probably the BLUEST fucking PILL person i have ever heard of. But the fact remains that this was all predicted and if I hadn't been a drunk captain it wouldn't have happened. We all know our weaknesses, Some of us just really don't like looking at them and accepting them.)
The Work Is Mandatory
Just because I got out, doesn't mean I was fixed. And the work still didn't get done, I grew, tried fumbling my way through it without Owning My Shit. And now I'm back, because there is still work to do. If you have a job to do and you need to learn how to do it, who do you go to ? Teachers. Sidebar, Reading, Lift, Diet, Career, and Money. everything you could ever want to know about how to be a fucking High Value Man. It's all here. It isn't easy but its simple, that's why we call it work. Accepting Red Pills truth, is hard and it puts the burden on YOU. But there's only one way to go from rock bottom. you gotta climb back up that fucking trench and put in the time and the work. otherwise you sit at the bottom. no one wants to be the guy who coasts through life, taking the path of least resistance. But what do you think the path of least resistance gets you ? running headlong full speed at the bottom of the trench.
In my story I never left rock bottom, and boys let me tell you its a fucking hard realization to come to. DIVORCE WAS LITERALLY THE PATH OF LEAST RESISTANCE. Don't be me. If it feels hard, your probably doing it right.
The Work Is Mandatory
There is no Magic Bullet
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[–]MAGAorD1E10 points [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
People have wives that have male friends?
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[–]MAGAorD1E3 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
When women say controlling they mean "correct" or "traditional "
I hear that word thrown at me alot by my colored inlaws.
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[–]tspitsatgp7 points [recovered] (6 children) | Copy Link
Nah buddy, your mate sounds like he was on the up and up. He told you what happened and you still let her go around to his place. Your approval of him fucking her was implicit after that phone call. This is all on you.
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[–]tspitsatgp7 points [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link
No, your friend was the one who was acting “normally”.
You know this guy had been fucking your wife and yet you were still trying to hang out with him after she had left town. What was that about? Are friends so hard to come by?
If I’m in your friends shoes I’m feeling pretty fucking weird about hanging out with you after having been doing all sorts of nasty shit with your wife while you were still living with her. Awkward. But more than that, are you the sort of guy I want to hang out with? The sort of guy that lets other guys fuck their wife?
So you see your thinking is still wrong. You are externalising blame instead of doing an honest appraisal of your role in the clusterfuck of a situation.
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[–]tspitsatgp1 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
I haven’t reached a level of zen or stoicism where I advocate not holding any anger, so long as the anger you hold doesn’t blind you from your own culpability. But I do fully advocate letting go of relationships when they have run their course: be that your wife, a family member or a friend.
Goodluck to you!
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