Q4RP: What are your relationships with other men like?

alreadyredschool · 2016-07-22T13:41:35+00:00

I still have some of my childhood friends, they are great.

But newer friends tend to be annoying, nearly daily calls and wanting to meet.

As a good christian (actually not) I do what Pope Francis suggested namely practicing a good culture of encounter. I see social isolation as the main problem of our time and fight it. I talk with all kinds of people I meet. Just put your phone down and start connecting. The main problem I found is that most people are absolutely boring and basic. Especially women in night clubs. Just 2 times did I find women who are great flirts. It's uncommon to find interesting people. In the past half year I met 1 dude and 1 women who were interesting. It's really nice finding people who you click with. Immediately on the same level and after less than 3 hours I already know about their childhood secrets and other personal stuff.

It also leads to funny situations - I got to know two dudes, became friends, get invited the birthday party of one. And who is there? 2 Mates of mine - their brothers!

While commuting I also randomly met the sister of one of the girls that knew how to flirt. It was the day after. She visited her sister (5 hours per train), talked and looked similar so I asked her if her sisters name was Stacy, weird look "how do you know?".

Are you in the 80% or the 20%?

I think I am very attractive. Friends often tell me about others commenting on my good looks. It also leads to stupid situations. I had this one social circle that always invited me to parties or meeting at a club because 2 girls were crushing on me. With time they felt rejected and started to become less welcoming but I became good friends with the girl who owns the flat where we met so I stayed in that circle. But they never talked to me again.

How competitive do you feel with other men

Not really but I love playing competitive and making a contest out of everything, adds more spice to life, just like betting.

how comfortable do you feel in their company

Very comfortable

how emotionally open?

Absolutely open, I don't care about protecting muh feelings. I prefer being open and having a chance of getting the big jackpot. It also makes other people more open.

FairlyNaive · 2016-07-22T13:53:26+00:00

I highly respect my father and am very greatfull for the effort he put into rising me, but there are certain ways where I dont want to be like him. He is a very intellectual person, but he prefers to observe and reflect way more then to take action. I think he was way happier when he was making career in science then he is now, and it makes me sad. We were very close when I was younger and he played a big role in development of my curiosity for the world around me, but we grew distant lately as I moved to a different city.

My grandfather is the quintessence of everything I want to be as man. He is very stoic, hard-warking, loyal person with exceptional leadership qualities, who was very caring and sometimes even gentle in the family at the same time. Looking back to my pre school years it was very funny how he tolerated my tantrums despite beeing called ruthless by many grown up men at work. He was also heavily invested in my upbringing and was probably the only force in the universe that could make my mother let me go into martial arts group. My relationship with him can be described as "silent admiration", I guess.

I dont have a huge circle of "buddies", but a few very good friends from university/sports times. They are very different people ranging from All of this friendshps are a result of very prolong mutual interest in something, I dont bond with people just hanging out for some time. It usually require some sort of team activity with specific goal and competition. Its really hard to maintain this relationship when this activity is no longer present. We try to support each other - when one of us had a sudden financial problems we paid for his last two years at university.
Unfortunately, I feel like most of them lost the direction in life after graduation. Some strated to work 16 hours a day and have pretty much nothing else in their lives, some just decided to sit on their asses and procrastinate all day, some are just doing very stupid shit. It was a very sharp contrast from just couple years ago when everybody was so energetic and full of anticipation for what is awaiting them. Im afraid that if they dont find the place to apply themselves in the nearest future it is not going to end well.

I feel extremply competetive with men. The thrill of the competition is probably my fovourite drug. Every activity that I ever enjoyed had some competetive aspect to it. We used to start some competition or bets to motivate ourselves do stuff from writing our term paper to losing weight with friends quite often.
I try to not bother them with my problems without necessity, but i know that I can get things off my chest and recieve support if I need to.

prodigy2throw · 2016-07-22T13:59:40+00:00

I have a core group of about 6 close friends I've known since high school. The rest are acquaintances who I hang with depending on the circumstance. I.e. If I'm going to a classy event I have a friend who can hang. If I'm dive bar hopping I have bartender friends who can hook me up. If I'm planning on hitting a nightclub I know promoters and owners.

I'm not the most social person but definitely getting there with public speaking classes and just being more open to people. Once you realize how transactional most, if not all, relationships are, you get better at maneuvering through them.

cxj · 2016-07-22T14:11:19+00:00

I find most guys really boring to be honest. They're still mostly amicable relationships but I'd rather just have a bunch of short term relationships with women to occupy my time.

I've had one guy friend who I could spend all my time with and not get sick of him, and we got along fabulously, but I think that's pretty much it.

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SetConsumes · 2016-07-22T14:25:34+00:00

We all know what RP thinks of women. But what about men. How social are you?

I'm very social in the sense that I'm nearly always up for meeting new people. Typically when I'm meeting several new people I'll find one that interests me more and really get conversation flowing, the women that know me enjoy making fun of my 'bromances'.

But at the same time I don't have much need for friends to see regularly, I'll see a male friend or two a few times a month at most.

What are your friendships like, what are your familial relationships like?

Usually the friendships consist of some nerdy activity and/or talking. Lots of talking, if the guy can't follow me or respond intelligently, we're not going to be friends.

I'm close to my parents and talk to my dad about real stuff regularly.

Are you in the 80% or the 20%?

I'm somewhere in the top 15-30%, not precisely sure.

How competitive do you feel with other men, how comfortable do you feel in their company, how emotionally open? etc

A man that's not my competition I will have a hard time respecting. My good friends are all my competitors, but it is friendly competition, none of us are in the exact same line of work.

Very comfortable. I'm comfortable around men in general. Very little to worry about. I don't have to worry about offending them or making them feel weird, usually. Women on the other hand require constantly paying attention to their feelings and emotional and physical comfort levels, gotta pay attention to my eyes a lot.

I can be emotionally open with my good friends, but typically that's not a need I have.

[deleted] · 2016-07-22T15:34:31+00:00

How social are you?

Not very. I'm rather introverted and don't usually like "people", but I've forced myself to learn to be more social, and can at least appear to enjoy socializing with strangers, for a time.

What are your friendships like, what are your familial relationships like?

All of my friends are close ones. I don't have a social circle of acquaintances, I have a small circle of friends I've known for years. I like it that way for many reasons, but mostly because I am VERY picky about who I spend my time with, and to be frank, most people don't pass my threshold. I am close with my immediate family, and I'd say the close relationships I have are very solid, I just don't have many of them.

Are you in the 80% or the 20%?

Realistically? the 80%. No doubt I was there most of my life, but now I'm probably much closer to the top of the 80% rather than somewhere lower. In truth, my goal with RP was never to become a "Chad", it was to figure out how to get and keep a LTR, so beta fux is my landing zone. Technically, even if I've succeeded in attaining that goal, I'm still in the 80%. Don't really care, because I got what I wanted. Now I just have to keep it. :P

How competitive do you feel with other men, how comfortable do you feel in their company, how emotionally open?

I am NOT a competitive person. I don't place much value on things like being better at sports, card games, or many things outside of the intellectual realm. That isn't to say I don't play and enjoy games, but I don't do it from a "win/lose" PoV. To me its a way to engage with others. I get irritated when others try to strong-arm me into competitions. I either want to do a "thing", or I don't.

I am supremely comfortable around my male friends. I've known all of them for several years, and many for over a decade. These guys know me so well, I don't have to say I'm upset over something for them to figure it out. They know my faults, my positives, and my history. I'm emotionally "open" to them as I feel comfortable with another human being, which is to say no one will ever see "everything" there is to me, because there are parts I have no desire to share. Around strange men, I'm comfortable but of course am in NO WAY emotionally "open". Truth be told, I probably need to know someone for months before that process even begins.

drok007 · 2016-07-22T15:35:29+00:00

I'm pretty social. My friendships are normal I guess, I don't know what that question means. I guess I'm in the top 20% based on n count. Depends on the man and the competition on how competitive I am. I am comfortable being around men, they do not scare me. I don't know what you mean by emotionally open, we yell at each other and fight sometimes. I don't cry in front them and complain though, I'm not a woman.

[deleted] · 2016-07-22T15:54:21+00:00

how social are you

Decently social. Don't constantly need to be around people but like to see my friends semi regularly.

what are your friendships like

My whole life I've always had lots of acquaintances but just a few close friends. My close friends I tell everything to and are generally really close to. I guess I'm kinda picky when it comes to friends because I very rarely open up to anyone and keep my acquaintances at arms length unless I really like them.

what are your familial relationships like?

Not super close to anyone in my family except my dad. My mom has some serious issues are is difficult to deal with on a regular basis. My dad is probably my best friend and just a boss. Really supportive, chill, funny and everything you could ask for. My moms side are more or less a bunch of gun toting rednecks from Kentucky I have little in common with. My dads side is my favorite and I'm decently close with my aunts and uncles, although not too close. All my grandparents are dead, unfortunately.

are you in the 80% or the 20%?

Hard to answer this now because of my age. But purely looks wise I'd say I'm above average but not exceptionally attractive. I'm only 5'8. Personality wise im pretty good. Most guys and girls who have really gotten to know me have really really liked me. But I'm not open with everyone and people who don't know me at all may think I'm aloof. I've also gotten stuck up relatively frequently, for whatever reason. But that's always by people who don't know me and then immediately change their mind as soon as they talk to me. I'll also most likely also end up making a good amount of money because I'm pretty intelligent. So there's that.

how comfortable and emotionally open do you feel with their company

I feel decently comfortable depending on who it is. I can be pretty crass (that may be apparent in my comments lmao) so I'm always a little reserved until I know the people I'm hanging around won't get offended, and if I'm sure they won't be im usually very comfortable and always cracking jokes and the like. Emotionally, though, I keep my feelings to myself unless I'm with my closest friends. I try to never show weakness to anyone.

[deleted] · 2016-07-22T16:56:15+00:00

Great.

[deleted] · 2016-07-22T18:24:53+00:00

We ride bikes, fish, and drink beer together.

As far a family relationships, I visit my parents ever other weekend

Christian_Kong · 2016-07-22T18:25:33+00:00

How social are you?

Very, love to meet new people, try new things, etc. I honestly don't care if I have "alone time" or not.

What are your friendships like, what are your familial relationships like?

My friendships are ok. Know some dudes for a long time, but to be honest those friendships are dwindling as they get married and put themselves in the box that will be their lifestyle for the next 40 years. Plenty of acquaintances from sports and bars which are at varying levels.

I don't really have much family relations. My parents are great, but from my brother to cousins and beyond, most of them are people I have no interest in keeping a relationship with. These are people that live no where near me and I wouldn't even be friends with most any of them for various reasons.

Are you in the 80% or the 20%?

I'd wager the 80%. I've got plenty going for me but have always had a ugly face and am bald.

How competitive do you feel with other men, how comfortable do you feel in their company, how emotionally open?

While I can enjoy many competitive things, I am not competitive. I think that is because there often isn't anything to compete for that I care about. I'll play in my local mens league for hockey but don't give a shit about wins or losses because all that is on the line is best local mens team, which essentially means shit in the grand scale of things. No problem being in other mens company and I would say I am pretty emotionally empty so I guess I am open.

cxj · 2016-07-22T20:12:04+00:00

I have a small group of die hard friends who absolutely will not give up on me, Nor I on them, at all costs. When my ex gf falsely accused me of dv they bailed me out of jail, loaned me money for legal fees and took huge damage to their reputations for standing by me. When I apologized for that, they thanked me for exposing all the fake, weak, pc people they did not need in their lives lol. I love hanging out with guys from my music communit and can bond instantly with dudes I've never met who are involved. I've had 3 hour phone conversations after pocket dialing a promoter from a show from 5 years ago I'd never talked to since lolol.

Unfortunately, outside of that community, guys are hard to relate to a lot of the time and hard to establish bond/friendship with. Powerlifter at the gym I do ok with. I weird lots of them out by coming across as either hyper masculine or weirdly feminine, or both at the same time.

I find it much easier to establish "fun based" but not that deep, casual friendships with women.

[deleted] · 2016-07-22T21:42:19+00:00

I would die for my friends. I would go to prison for them, barring that. I love them more than I've ever loved any woman.

We work together, drink together, and build our lives together. They know I'm a virgin and a misogynist, and they don't care. Many of them like it about me.

We are all emotionally open, but we don't use each other as emotional crutches. We're not women. If something bad happens to one of us, we walk it off.

When I was younger, I actively avoided friendship. Now I only avoid friendship with women and feminine men. I try to make both feel like shit whenever I can.

PM-UR-TITS-4-MY-DICK · 2016-07-23T00:15:12+00:00

Friends are like meaningful distractions. Truthfully as a man it is irresponsible to focus on making friends. Women can have friends because it isn't the same dynamic,

[deleted] · 2016-07-23T03:01:53+00:00

I'm in the 20%

I don't feel competitive at all with other men. I think I enjoy hanging out with girls more in general. But anyone who is particularly intellectually stimulating is fun, men or women. I'm not a fan of sports-watching comradarie or going out drinking with the boys. I however tend to have more closer long-term men friends than women friends, because I haven't had sex with any of them and made it potentially awkward.

I'm pretty emotionally open with other guys, far more than the general guy. I've tended to embrace femininity to an extent that would make most males uncomfortable. However it's also kind of stupid that emotional speak is considered feminine in nature.

winndixie · 2016-07-23T17:33:28+00:00

I do find myself automatically feeling competitive with men I just meet such as in the workplace. I have recently been learning to instead of keeping a wall between us, try to befriend him, learn his secrets and if need be, sabotage him.

My good friends? They don't mind if I bitch and moan now and then and then to me to man up. Some of them are so annoyed by emotion that I would not be emotionally open around them but hang around for the jokes shits and giggles.

I'm not as social as I like to be yet and I want to get a different set of friends while never mixing the two together.

despisedlove2 · 2016-07-23T17:53:33+00:00

I have been blessed with some great friends, not all of whom live in my town.

You can trust some men. You can relax and be yourself with most of them.

[deleted] · 2016-07-23T20:52:57+00:00

Great. We fly around the country seeing each other often, travelled around the world together, and no judgement on anything, ever

bornredd · 2016-07-25T16:13:52+00:00

How social are you?

On my own? Incredibly social. I meet people everywhere I go.

What are your friendships like, what are your familial relationships like?

I have 1 very close best male friend (20+ years), and several newer 'good' friends. I cleared out a lot of my old relationships because of some major life changes. Family? I don't speak to my original nuclear family anymore because I refuse to associate with my abusive mother. However, I am very close with all of my extended family, my wife's family, and my own family.

Are you in the 80% or the 20%?

Pre-marriage n count in the 20+, currently a 7-8/10 (post "makeover", lol). I have always been social and outgoing. So I'm going to say 20%, but at the bottom of it.

How competitive do you feel with other men, how comfortable do you feel in their company, how emotionally open?

I'm not competitive with other men. Hanging out with dudes is fine. No emotional openness. No dude wants to hear about your shit.

seattleron · 2016-07-26T19:43:09+00:00

The friends I have fun with I love. Glad to have them, but I think I know too many people. Most of the time, buddy's mean well, but they're fucking exhausting. Try to make sure my car is out of sight from my apartment, act like I don't see people when I'm out, etc. If I'm not doing something really fun with my buddies, I'd rather relax with a woman. I just don't have the energy for a million friendships. Shit is exhausting.

LUClEN · 2016-07-22T12:54:36+00:00

Are you in the 80% or the 20%?

What does that even mean?

Title	Q4RP: What are your relationships with other men like?
Author	lollygagyo
Upvotes	10
Comments	93
Date	July 22, 2016 12:17 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/4u2gvp/q4rp_what_are_your_relationships_with_other_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4rp-what-are-your-relationships-with-other-men.273915 https://theredarchive.com/post/273915

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