Women of PPD, how do you get guys you're interested in to approach you / how do you approach them?

GridReXX · 2016-02-08T15:01:10+00:00

Work on looking attractive. That's a daily thing.

Make flirty eye contact, smile.

If that doesn't work.

Approach. I tend to approach guys whose sense of style I admire. So I'll compliment his shoes or sports jacket or sunglasses or eye glasses or something.

This leads to more convo, and so forth.

[deleted] · 2016-02-08T15:44:28+00:00

[permanently deleted]

PollaTronante · 2016-02-08T15:33:12+00:00

If that were true, every male person I ever made eye contact with would approach me. That's far from being the case.

Also, approaching women is not considered pushy or overly sexual on its own, it's how the man approaches and interacts with her. I'll give you an example:

I was at a bar, sitting at the counter. A man comes up and starts talking to me. IMMEDIATELY he's touching my arms/shoulders, and very frequently. Now, what can I do in this situation? If I tell him off, wouldn't I be behaving like a stuck up bitch? After all, this man had the courage to approach a girl who he found attractive, and if I think touching someone's arm or shoulder is "creepy," I'm a feminazi, right? Well, of course, by choosing to continue sitting there, I'm viewed as "implicitly consenting" to being touched by him. So the touching gets even more frequent, and within minutes he's putting his hands on my upper thigh. That's when I noped out of there. But what did I expect? I'd allowed him to touch me in the first place, I could tell he was attracted to me, it only makes sense he's going to begin touching me in a more sexual manner, right?

And THAT is the dilemma faced by women who are uncomfortable getting hit on, but know they can't call a man creepy until he's actually groped them, because then THEY'RE the ones being impolite.

OfSpock · 2016-02-08T09:31:33+00:00

Make eye contact, smile, in they come over, you talk to them to see if you hit it off. If they don't, assume that they're not interested. I don't really needed advanced moves because I believe in 'finding' the person I want to date and who wants to date me, not finding some person, deciding they're the one and attempting to make them interested.

ianturpiesmoustache · 2016-02-08T10:52:30+00:00

I usually try to get them laughing, I find having a giggle it helps me and them relax and builds some kind of rapport early on. From that point it's just talking and asking questions to see if there's any mutual interest.

Ichtragebrille · 2016-02-08T08:46:13+00:00

I go up and say "hi!" And make some comment/joke about the environment we are in. Pretty fucking simple.

It's easy to talk to people if you ask questions. People love to talk about themselves. Just give them a hint and they're off.

People seriously overthink basic conversation.

artichokess · 2016-02-08T11:11:22+00:00

i just start talking to them, make some sarcastic comment, determine or not they are engaging with me...if not, move on, if so, stay and keep talking

deathbycactus · 2016-02-08T16:19:25+00:00

Tease them. Not in a mean/sexual way - just give them shit in a joking kind of way that leaves myself open to them giving it back. Only after establishing that relationship do I start doing things like dressing provocatively for them, making suggestive comments and touching them.

ozymandias271 · 2016-02-08T16:17:23+00:00

I date nerds, so it is very important to make sure there is absolutely no ambiguity. So I tend to express interest by saying "you're cute! Wanna make out?"

RobotPartsCorp · 2016-02-08T18:59:52+00:00

I just strike up a conversation with a guy, make jokes, have light conversation and if it is clear we have interests in common, then maybe move the conversation further along. If I am heading to a different spot (with friends) and it is clear there is a connection, I invite them along with us.

demerera · 2016-02-08T19:00:23+00:00

Try and look as good as possible, flirty body language, either wait for him to approach me or find some reason to speak to him. If he doesn't seem keen to extend the conversation, Id leave it. Once were talking keep using flirty body language, make him feel good about himself, tease him a bit, try and be funny and chatty etc

[deleted] · 2016-02-08T21:13:19+00:00

It all depends on the situation. I approach men pretty often, so I'll try to summarise my methods.

If it's a bar or a party, I look them in the eyes and smile and usually that's enough. Occasionally (if they seem to be too shy to start a conversation), I say hello and ask a question somehow related to the situation, however, as neutral as possible. For instance, if it's a party at someone's house, I'll ask them whether they know the party organizer well and how they met and things like that.

However, this is all level easy. Most of the guys I want to meet are popular in some way (usually artists and musicians). When you have a chance to talk to them, they are usually surrounded by people, very often women, so smiling at them just won't do the trick. Of course you have to look nice, but so do 5 other girls chatting with them at the moment. So, there are two options.

1) Preferable - if we have a common friend, I'll ask him/her to introduce me. It gives you a leg up, because it means you are somehow in their (the guy you approach, that is) inner circle. And as it's my friend introducing me, he/she is bound to say some nice things about me. So it's easy from there.

2) More difficult - you actually have to approach them (I'm usually super nervous), then say something nice about their music/art/literature/whatever, and then ask a very specific question about their creative work. It usually requires some prior research. Listen to their answer, give your opinion (again, it has to be well-thought; not something they hear every day). This way they'll usually get interested in what you've got to say and want to hear more. Approximately 8 out of 10 cases they'll invite you to a coffee/lunch/ask you to show them your city next day or at least have a drink and a long conversation with you that very same evening. Of course you need some general knowledge about culture and art for it all to make sense.

As I'm neither a guy nor a groupie, I don't feel all encounters have to end up with sex, so it's totally fine with me if we just meet once or several times and stay in touch (until they come to my town again, or until we meet at some festival or something). It's so much fun to meet interesting people I never regret it.

And a very important rule when you approach anyone is to listen and watch them closely. If they seem in any way impatient or uninterested, I never push. In fact even if anything goes well I usually try to back up just to see what their reaction would be.

lauren_collins · 2016-02-08T23:45:08+00:00

i never approach or make conversation with people that are unattractive, even stuff like chitchatting while in line at the grocery store or with co-workers. i always answer questions with one word responses or "uh huhs". so if i'm talking to a guy who knows my personality, he knows i'm interested. otherwise i wouldn't be talking. that makes it easier for him to approach. like the guy i'm seeing now worked in the same building for a few weeks before we started dating, so he already knew that me talking to him was a good sign, and felt comfortable asking for number.

[deleted] · 2016-02-08T15:02:14+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Women of PPD, how do you get guys you're interested in to approach you / how do you approach them?
Author	betterdeadthanbeta
Upvotes	2
Comments	98
Date	February 8, 2016 8:23 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/44q1k2/women_of_ppd_how_do_you_get_guys_youre_interested/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-of-ppd-how-do-you-get-guys-youre-interested.276391 https://theredarchive.com/post/276391

Comments