Q4RP: What 'education' on manhood and women do you think non-TRP men got growing up?

prodigy2throw · 2016-01-06T15:22:51+00:00

Well in my culture we are told to just study and get good grades. Nothing else matters. Parents will find you a spouse when the time comes.

Kind of fucks you socially.

GayLubeOil · 2016-01-06T12:59:06+00:00

They were probably told most of the shit blue pillers say. They were told that women face a lot of misogyny, that men are privileged, that he shouldn't be part of the problem, and that women are basically like men. They were never told that they were disposable and they were never told how people would get taken advantage of. Winning a woman's favor was presented as normal so he never understood the difference between winning her over and wasted resources.

bromance946 · 2016-01-06T15:06:12+00:00

(non RP but still understands "the lie", sort of): The "lie" was more the fact that we weren't taught anything about what a woman wants in a man, sexually. That if we focused on career, we wouldn't have a problem getting a girl later. That merely having a dick would make us attractive to women in the same way women were attractive to us. Personally, I was never taught that my ethnicity would become a disadvantage in dating. It was a lie by omission.

scrantonic1ty · 2016-01-06T15:49:34+00:00

That's not how a culture influences young people. Do you even sociology?

ThrowawayCactus6012 · 2016-01-06T16:19:19+00:00

Did my dad sit down and give me a 'manhood speech' as part of the sex talk (or not go over something)?

Some kids grow up without dads or any positive male role models in their lives. A lot of kids grow up without much parental involvement at all, other than just the bare minimum - and sometimes not even that.

Did my school's sex ed class go over something (or not go over something) that yours did?

Some districts have to struggle just to make sure they include the teaching of evolution in the curriculum.

I do have to admit it's a source of irritation when people who came from good homes, with good parents who loved and supported them, many born with silver spoons in their mouths - yet pat themselves on the back for their own "accomplishments" as if they did it all by themselves. Then they shit all over those who are less fortunate and call them "losers."

[deleted] · 2016-01-06T17:26:38+00:00

I don't think they were taught anything about manhood growing up..

Almost every single blue pill type I know in real life were raised by none other then single moms.

lev21pirate · 2016-01-06T13:19:58+00:00

I think the lie that we're told isn't so much a question of the message forwarded rather than it is how we're supposed to act.

Say for example that you were taught not to take advantage of women if they are inebriated, as we all are; Now it could be that you go out on a "not-so-obvious" date with a friend you've developed feelings for and that ,after a few shots of alcohol, you rationalize that escalating things wouldn't be taking advantage of her because you ,somehow , know amidst a torrent of mix signals that she's into you.

Or it could be that you feel , under the same circumstances, that it would be taking advantage of her inhebriation because under normal conditions things wouldn't be escalating to that point, obviously.

Or to put it an other way , its a lie of omissions : Don'the take advantage of inebriated women overlooks the facts that ; sometimes people get drunk to overcome certain psychological barriers, other times people get drunk and make stupid mistakes.

But again, it's only a problem for men because we are on the receiving end of these moral contraditions.

[deleted] · 2016-01-06T23:19:12+00:00

Boys tend to emulate their fathers or father figures. With so many broken households, boys have no father figures to look to, so single mothers give the "respect women, buy her things, win her favor" talk without any masculine behavior for the boy to emulate. They'll boys then have no balance, and lean too far toward the tender, sensitive side without the assertiveness and boldness associated with masculinity.

This is what happened to me. However, thankfully my mother wasn't all that bluepill in her lessons. She always warned me that there are shitty women in the world and to be very discerning as to who I date, so I never fully believed that women were inherently wonderful. I still missed that masculine influence, though.

alcockell · 2016-01-06T15:19:54+00:00

I think non-TRP men (naturals, fortunate blue pillers) were given more realistic views of women and of themselves. I think most were instructed that women were flawed and human just as they were, but that women were disadvantaged. I think also that most had strong fathers who were themselves naturals or fortunate enough to have married/reproduced with women who cared about their fathers and loved their fathers; and didn't try to rule the roost.

To take a more meta perspective here, it needs to be understood where TRP came from. TRP is comprised of men who knew something was wrong and came to that conclusion long before finding TRP. They knew something was wrong because they weren't getting what they wanted and needed from their relationships. They knew something was wrong because they had finally concluded that the shit advice everyone around them had given them ('just be nice, just be yourself, looks don't matter, it's what's on the inside that counts, girls don't really care about men's looks, girls who do care about men's looks are shallow and stupid, you just keep on being nice and girls will love you for it someday) was shit.

Oh, they had stumbled backwards into marriage to women who they liked well enough and who could tolerate them, but who they really shouldn't have married. Oh, they'd gotten fortunate enough to bang a few women for a while. But their relationships were always disintegrating after a few months, and they could never figure out why. They were following the shit advice to a T, doing EXACTLY what everyone was telling them to do, and it still wasn't working. (Incidentally, NO ONE was telling them to get better haircuts, dress better, improve their physical appearances, lose weight, work out, etc.)

Whenever they pointed out to others that they followed the advice and it didn't work, they were always redirected to the exact same things: Be nice, be yourself, you're not being nice enough, you need to be nicer, you need to do more chores, you need to be around home more, etc. They did it, and it STILL wasn't working. So they had reached the conclusion that, well, what they were doing wasn't working, and they needed to try something else. They weren't being told that, well, they were shitty people. They were unattractive men. They were boring, uninteresting men. They were getting into relationships with shitty, damaged, broken, or mentally disordered women.

Another thing to consider here is that a lot of Blue Pillers are just very fortunate people. They haven't run into shitty, broken, damaged or mentally disordered women. Or they were instructed (as I said above) that there are such things as shitty, broken, damaged and mentally disordered women, and that such women should be avoided.

I also think that most Blue Pill men are such because they've never been through what TRP men have, and that also makes them quite fortunate. Most Blue Pill men have never had their lives ruined by a shitty, broken, damaged or mentally fucked up woman. Most Blue Pill men have never gotten sexually involved with a woman with a mental disorder, a personality disorder, or an addiction. Most Blue Pill men have not been frivorced because his wife was "unhappy" and "just didn't want to be married anymore" (conveniently after the last kid is in kindergarten). Most Blue Pill men haven't been married to bitches, whores, cheaters, or otherwise shitty, fucked up women. Most Blue Pill men haven't been cheated on (at least not that they know of) or deprived of sex for extended periods of time.

Most Blue Pill men have had good, satisfying, mutually beneficial sexual relationships. Most Blue Pill men have been told and instructed on: healthy, realistic ways of dealing with rejection; sexual attraction and the difference between attraction and "comfort"; lack of attraction; the birth, life and death of relationships; that things mostly "just don't work out"; and the like, because they've seen them actually work and play out in others' lives and been concurrently given an accurate, nondistorted picture of what's actually playing out in front of them. EDIT: I also think most Blue Pill men have been given by others an accurate picture of their own SMVs and RMVs growing up, and told what they can do to improve it, and also told to be realistic about what to expect from women and relationships based on that SMV or RMV. END EDIT Most Blue Pill men (or non RP men) have found marriage to a well adjusted woman who treats him well, doesn't have a distorted view of herself or sex, and who is actually sexually attracted to him. I think most of them have been exceedingly fortunate in that regard.

(Remember: Most TRP men are formerly Blue pill. Most TRP men are painstakingly instructed that women are wonderful, that there is no such thing as a shitty, broken, damaged, or mentally disturbed woman. And if a woman is shitty, broken, damaged or mentally disordered, it is because a man did it to her. Most TRP men have learned the hard way that, yes, Virginia, there ARE such things as shitty, broken, damaged and mentally disordered women.)

appencapn · 2016-01-06T13:29:19+00:00

I'm not a man. But my brothers grew up in Colombian/African American culture which is all about machismo and fucking women but always coming back to the woman you love and killing dudes over random bullshit. All of my brothers cheat on their girls, but are pretty sweet to them otherwise. They have all caught STD's. When we were little they would get into serious fights with other guys over perceived slights. Like really stupid shit like busting someones head over a toilet or sink for hearing from someone else that they said they were poor or some shit They would also threaten to slap the shit out of girls but never did to my knowledge and their girlfriends/wives don't seem to take it seriously. My oldest brother (34) walks up to random girls as my father does and just asks for their number or just sees some random girl and makes a lot of loud comments about her. its honestly embarrassing but hey shit actually works 50% of the time that I've seen it.

I guess thats why TRP seems very strange sometimes to me because I had a very non bluepill childhood. Basically along my sisters I was told to be pretty, eat well and cook well, show off, be feminine, always acquiesce to my brothers (and eventually boyfriend) and to be flirty always. Its not that I rejected it, I just never really took it to heart.

I kind of want to show one of my brothers TRP to see what they would think since they have never heard of anything like this nor would they have heard much about feminism.

I assume many TRPers had stereotypical white, middle class upbringing and talks with their parents about love. Like definitely heavily stressing girls can do anything boys can do. "Its ok sweetie some girl will adore you in college"- talks. I mean I guess I can see the complaints from this standpoint but my childhood was also damaging in a sense to. If my brothers weren't bringing home girls then they were "fags." And no one gave a shit when I actually did well in school.

ppdthrowawai · 2016-01-06T18:54:34+00:00

Most people's beliefs are painted by their personal experiences and there's a lot of things going on. In fact there's so much that any list could never cover it all. Couple of big ones I think of.

BPers seem to be much more commonly women, so there is that.

Some people get lucky and stumble upon their perfect match and thus think all relationships work the way theirs did. My parents for example met in high school. Their sample size for their advice based on personal experience is essentially 1. Not coincidentally, they're pretty narrow minded and their advice has little value.

Lastly, most people I know, men and women, agree to some extent with a lot of RP stuff. If you don't use the harsh language, you'd be surprised how common a lot of these beliefs are. Captain/first mate for example is an extremely common relationship setup.

ppdthrowawai · 2016-01-06T18:54:35+00:00

Most people's beliefs are painted by their personal experiences and there's a lot of things going on. In fact there's so much that any list could never cover it all. Couple of big ones I think of.

BPers seem to be much more commonly women, so there is that.

Some people get lucky and stumble upon their perfect match and thus think all relationships work the way theirs did. My parents for example met in high school. Their sample size for their advice based on personal experience is essentially 1. Not coincidentally, they're pretty narrow minded and their advice has little value.

Lastly, most people I know, men and women, agree to some extent with a lot of RP stuff. If you don't use the harsh language, you'd be surprised how common a lot of these beliefs are. Captain/first mate for example is an extremely common relationship setup.

wombatinaburrow · 2016-01-07T09:26:25+00:00

You got the "you're becoming a man, now" talk from your dad (or significant man in your life, Mr Wombat had his grandfather, as his father was serving abroad), and had dad, grandfathers, uncles, sports coaches and family friends to emulate.

Xemnas81 · 2016-01-06T12:49:08+00:00

Didn't really have much at all. Dad was working overtime most of my childhood. I was closer to my (female) teacher than my peers until middle school, and spent more time with my grandparents than either Mom or Dad. My older brother became a moody stoic git and my younger sister was at that time a hyper-active emotional girl.

So I imagine you were actually given a talk and didn't come from a broken home.

questioningwoman · 2016-01-06T15:50:15+00:00

Most of them got their information from rap videos and hardcore porn.

Title	Q4RP: What 'education' on manhood and women do you think non-TRP men got growing up?
Author	DStoo
Upvotes	1
Comments	119
Date	January 6, 2016 12:46 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/3zpn09/q4rp_what_education_on_manhood_and_women_do_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4rp-what-education-on-manhood-and-women-do-you.277215 https://theredarchive.com/post/277215

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