[cmv] male incels aren't incel because they have high standards, they are incel because they don't make moves/declare sexual interest

Cyralea · 2015-12-21T16:22:44+00:00

No.

Male incels are incel mostly because they're unattractive. They are incel because very, very few, or no, women are sexually interested in them. And that lack of sexual interest is because these men are not attractive men.

High standards has the smallest role. I'll admit that they don't make moves or show sexual interest as much as more attractive men, and that limits them some. But most of the time incels learn over time to limit their approaches because they do fail almost all the time.

Almost your entire post is that incel men are incel because women won't do this or that -- women won't approach, women won't escalate. That's mostly true, but that's not why these men are incel. These men are incel because they're not attractive, therefore they don't approach, therefore they don't make moves or escalate. They've learned not to, because they fail almost all the time anyway. They fail because women don't respond well to them, and women do not respond well to them because they're not attractive.

And "attractive" here means not just their looks. It also means their interactions with people. A lot of guys coming to TRP don't look terrible. They need some improvement, sure. Most of them need to lose weight and lift weights.

But a lot of guys coming to TRP are viewed as weird or socially maladjusted to varying degrees. Some men have some problem with this; others have huge problems in this area. Their social skills suck for whatever reason: They're somewhere on the autism spectrum. They learned screwed up socialization based on shitty parenting, some kind of trauma, or persistent failure. Their visions of the world and how they relate to the world got skewed and off-kilter somewhere. TRP (and the concepts it talks about) do what they can to get men to see this, correct it, and then live in reality.

Most men who have persistent relationship and sexual failure are there because they aren't attractive and haven't done what they can to maximize their attractiveness. Many of them don't have a reality-based view of what "attractive" is to most women.

relationshipdownvote · 2015-12-21T16:53:13+00:00

This kind of ignores the base issue, that being that they are unattractive or socially awkward or both. They don't hit on girls because of simple conditioning. Any time in the past that they hit on girls, they were likely hurt badly ego-wise, socially, whatever. This causes them to avoid women and prevent portraying any sexual interest in a woman whatsoever. It also likely caused him to have less confidence and further hurt his chances when asking girls the next time.

This kind of negative feedback loop and the opposite positive feedback loop causes some of the huge separation in sexual success between men and what TRP refers to as 80/20 rule.

Dietyz · 2015-12-21T16:34:35+00:00

Male incels are male incels because they aren't trashy(or trashy enough) in combination with their looks/personality. Lets be honest, we have all seen these walmart denizens who look like they just crawled out of a fucking grave, but they have a girlfriend and probably like 6 kids too. These people most likely cant spell their own name, but even they find someone who likes them

I'm not sure if I have ever met an incel, but of the people who I think may be one they are all the same. They wear those big white shoes from payless, have the hair over the forehead look, poor fitting clothing and an awkward personality. They most likely consider themselves to be a bit of an intellectual and play too many video games. If you got them drunk, hit them over the head with a shovel repeatedly, throw some camo cargo shorts on and wheeled them into a walmart or family dollar i'm sure some juggalette with a couple missing teeth and a pokemon scratcher on her arm is gonna be into it. They just don't recognize how truly low their smv is, most of them are incel by choice even if they don't believe so

Drenzard · 2015-12-21T18:12:51+00:00

There is a word in female-speak for incels who make moves on them and declare sexual interest - "Creeps".

And if you are smart, you will understand how I have summarized my broad view on the matter with that short statement.

Archwinger · 2015-12-21T16:57:39+00:00

It's also attractiveness. In fact, it's about 95% attractiveness. I mean, yeah, you have to make some kind of move in most cases, but we do not have this large pile of incels who would have gotten laid or gotten girlfriends if only they'd spoken up. If they'd spoken up, they'd have gotten rejected. Duh. Because they're not attractive, and they know it, and that's why they don't make the moves or declare interest.

If you have a pretty face, nice hair, are dressed and groomed well, and your body is super-hot, you will have sluts walking up to talk to you. They will reach over and start feeling your arms, chest, and abs unbidden. All you have to do -- the only thing -- is not say anything weird or stupid and you'll get laid. And sometimes, even that doesn't keep them off of your dick.

If you are ugly, it doesn't matter how confident you are -- you're out of the running automatically for 3/4 of the women in the universe, maybe more. Women you try to talk to, touch, or declare interest to will blow you off.

vandaalen · 2015-12-21T18:49:34+00:00

You cannot be an involuntary celibate if you have an standards at all.

Carkudo · 2015-12-21T16:09:01+00:00

Why the hell is everyone so bent on "proving" that incel men are incel for reasons other than unattractivenss?

For the record, it was worse for me when I made moves. Right now, I have a non-existent sexual\romantic life and a decent social life. When I made moves, I had a non-existent sexual\romantic life and shitty social life too, because guess what - women don't like being hit on by unattractive men, and it strains any social interaction further on.

belletaco · 2015-12-21T16:23:55+00:00

Idk I think it's pretty easy to believe there are some people who are so unattractive on top of being awkward/anxious/introverted that make it impossible for them to meet someone

[deleted] · 2015-12-21T19:52:17+00:00

Wrong. Incels are men who are genetically inferior. Women are not sexually attracted to average-looking man, but they make a tremendous effort to not puke when having sex with average men, but they literally cannot have sex with incel men because their biology is yelling at them, telling them that these guys are genetic trash.

wtknight · 2015-12-21T16:57:18+00:00

I think this is one of many reasons a male incel might be incel, but not the only one. I don't think involuntary celibacy is a one cause problem, and some are involuntarily celibate because of too high of standards compared to their own SMV, and some just because they have offputting personalities to almost every women they meet.

[deleted] · 2015-12-21T18:26:11+00:00

[permanently deleted]

honeypuppy · 2015-12-22T01:44:08+00:00

While there may be some truly unfortunate-looking "incels" out there, I've seen quite a few "ForeverAlone" types post their pictures in places like /r/amiugly or on other forums, often complaining that they're too ugly to ever get a girlfriend. And a lot of the time, they're average or even above-average looking. And even the unattractive ones are not nearly as unattractive as the ugliest men who I've seen to have partners.

I think sociability is by far the biggest factor in involuntary celibacy. Does anyone know of a confident, outgoing person, 20+ years of age, who is incel?

That's not to say that it's easy to overcome. For instance, if you suffer from extreme social anxiety, to "just make a move" can be extremely difficult.

prodigy2throw · 2015-12-21T16:18:16+00:00

I agree that making the move and stepping to the plate is like 80 percent of the battle.

HeNeverLies4 · 2015-12-21T16:39:47+00:00

What about female incels?

Title	[cmv] male incels aren't incel because they have high standards, they are incel because they don't make moves/declare sexual interest
Author	plasticsleeper
Upvotes	2
Comments	62
Date	December 21, 2015 3:59 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/3xpr4j/cmv_male_incels_arent_incel_because_they_have/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-male-incels-arent-incel-because-they-have-high.277652 https://theredarchive.com/post/277652

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