PMS mood swings and used to be a slut? Not sure if there's hope for me. First post

artemis286 · 2018-04-04T21:51:31+00:00

So I'm sure you'll get a ton of good advice on the dating concerns, I wanted to address the physical concerns that you mentioned.

I'm a nurse and a doula, and have spent a ton of time studying women's health. I'm not a doctor though, so you should always consult with a medical professional on medical decisons.

So I would recommend getting into some natural women's health groups if you're looking to manage hormonal mood swings without birth control. I was on birth control for several years to manage what they thought was endometriosis, and ended up with a B12 deficiency, glucose tolerance issues, high blood pressure, and more menstrual problems from the synthetic hormones. And I'm absolutely not the only one.

Anyway, those have all been resolved now! Part of being woman is the cyclical nature of our bodies and constant change. Literally from day to day our cycles are changing. So some changes in moods are natural before the cycle! And creating shame around them generally makes it worse. Because now you not only feel moody and sensitive, but now you feel shame for being sensitive, and it creates a cycle that feeds into itself.

Personally, I lighten my load during that time. I grocery shop and prep some meals the week before, and I try to get things as clean as possible. So I have some room to rest. I take time to slow down and respect the fact that my body is in a state of change, and take that sign form mother nature that I may need to slow down for a little. I also personally take a few supplements that have helped me tremendously. I don't sell any of these, nor am I in any way involved in these companies.

I take a turmeric supplement, plus a calcium/magnesium/zinc complex, B complex, plus this Prosoothe II supplement (its on Amazon). I take that only during the luteal phase. It completely erased my PMDD, and all other bothersome PMS symptoms. It's been a life saver!

I'm happily married currently, and my husband has no issue with me occasionally having a bad day. Everyone does. And honestly, women's bodies do AMAZING things, and my husband and I share a deep reverence and respect for that. I'm open about where I am in my cycle, and what I'm feeling. And he responds with nothing but love and respect. Perhaps building and cultivating a most positive view of your body and the things it's capable of will help with the shame and worry you feel about your cycle.

The moment I start to let myself get overworked and caught up with the fact that I'm feeling a little sensitive, and I let the shame sink in, it makes everything SO MUCH WORSE. When I stop respecting my body's need for some space, I'm not as able to care for myself or anyone else.

littleshroom · 2018-04-04T17:59:19+00:00

Id say visit a gyno. And regarding your feelings, you are not a trash bag, stop looking at yourself that way. Mistakes happen. You are only 23. Go into nun mode, think, evaluate, possibly visit a therpist, because the situation with your mom sounds horrible. As a mom myself, reading all that made me want to hug you. You will be alright. Understanding your mistakes is the first step and its already made. You can do this!

WhatIsThisAccountFor · 2018-04-04T18:00:41+00:00

I worry about my sister too and I'm scared she might go down the same path as me but I hope she can learn from my mistakes.

The very first thing I want to tell you is to TELL HER THIS. Tell her how unhappy it has made you to sleep around, tell her how unfulfilled you felt afterward. Tell her how much you wished you had never done it. Youth are not taught anything these days because everyone is afraid of oppressing them, but you have a chance to be honest and real with your sister, and save her from the heartache you have suffered, so please tell her.

Despite having a generally healthy lifestyle I always get very anxious and depressed and start crying for no reason the week before I get my period. I try to control my thoughts but I feel like there's a cloud over me, even though I feel good for the rest of the month.

So ok... I don't know exactly how this works for others, but I have heard that just letting yourself cry it out works. I just don't really cry at all, but it makes sense to me why this would work. So you cry because of PMS, which isn't that abnormal, because crying is a stress reliever and PMS is stressful. What is bad though is that you are crying to relieve stress, then you are becoming stressed because you are crying which is supposed to relieve your stress, so you're creating an inescapable cycle of stress that needs to be relieved in a way that causes you more stress.

Stop thinking that crying because of PMS is bad. It's not a bad thing. It's only a bad thing if you're forcing others to deal with you while you're crying. Just sit in your room, or find a quiet place, cry, and let your emotions out. Finish crying, maybe take a nap or something, then go back to your life.

Even my female housemate has noticed and she said that I get clingy and want more attention before I get my period.

Explain this to me. In what sense do you become more clingy? How do you show that you need more attention? Give me examples and walk me through it.

Neuroentropic_Force · 2018-04-04T16:40:53+00:00

I can't exactly help you with regards to regulating your emotional volatility beyond recommending seeing a therapist. For myself and many of my friends and family, talk therapy has been extremely helpful. (I'm not suggesting talk therapy will help with an obviously biological issue, but it can help you cope and minimize it's impact, and orient you towards achievable goals that will make life better)

What matters most is that you are aware of your situation, what's in your way from getting what you want, past behaviors that you don't want to continue.

The past is the past, we cannot change it, but we can learn from it and change our future.

Most importantly, you are not a lost cause. You are 23, you are more self aware than most young people your age. You have time to improve yourself and live virtuously (and my oh my can things improve fast, 2 year ago me was broke, sick, and miserable, I could not have fathomed how much would change in 2 years if I was willing to work at it). In order to achieve a meaningful life for yourself, including a loving husband and family, then you must believe it is truly a reality that you can create (and it is).

I hope some of the ladies on here have some more specific knowledge or personal experience to share. You are no doubt far from alone in your experience. Don't get down on yourself for the circumstances of your childhood or your foolish youthful decisions. You can overcome these obstacles, and you will if you really want to, because nothing in life worth doing or having is easy. Remember that, and take solace in the fact that at least you are aware of your situation.

Far too many young people don't wake up and aren't willing to work hard to live the lives they want, then realize when they are 40+ they wasted their potential, traded future prosperity for immediate pleasure, and settled for mediocrity.

You have the opportunity to choose otherwise.

riseoftherice · 2018-04-04T16:34:35+00:00

Have you considered taking birth control? Maybe it could reduce your PMS symptoms.

About dating: other than nun mode, I've seen some commenters talking about casually dating (for vetting potential guys) and maybe it's something you should try? How good are you at setting limits with guys?

OhIMeMine · 2018-04-04T17:59:05+00:00

I get depressed right before I start my period, I haven’t found a way to make that not happen. What I can do, is remind myself that it’s temporary. I focus on accepting how I feel, acknowledging that it’s my hormones, and reminding myself that it’s okay to feel bummed for a few days. It’s not okay to be obnoxious to other people, but sometimes your close girl friends will understand if you just tell them, “hey, I’m all PMS depressed right now? You wanna hang out for a bit?” The key is to ask for what you need without being annoying. I usually do the opposite myself, I don’t seek company as much as I tend to seclude myself with a book. Do you have hobbies that you can focus your energy on when you feel this way? I read a lot, have a wood burning kit, and have recently started playing around with water color paint, it helps to have something to distract you.

I do think getting some extra sleep helps.

TaintedPills · 2018-04-05T10:47:30+00:00

A slut that understands that he/she is a slut is a slut that can be saved !

BabesInSoyLand · 2018-04-04T17:22:30+00:00

I went through a phase where my PMS weeks suddenly got horrific like you describe. My GP recommended Magnesium and Calcium Glucarate supplements during PMS and period, and they were honestly magical. I'd definitely give both a try.

DependentStrawberry · 2018-04-04T22:12:43+00:00

Keep a cycle calendar so you understand what your body is doing and don't internalize the emotions.

[deleted] · 2018-04-05T07:00:09+00:00

It's normal to have ups and downs, and part of being a feminine woman is accepting them and allowing yourself to work through those emotions, not feeling ashamed or rejecting them. However, it's never a bad thing to develop self control.

In terms of clinginess, why don't you work of turning those habits into something productive. Eg: change clingy behaviours into affectionate behaviours.

OwnedAndLoveIt · 2018-04-04T23:40:01+00:00

Zoloft can be a great mood stabilizer and help with social anxiety. Have you considered trying any medications while you make changes in your life?

[deleted] · 2018-04-05T04:50:46+00:00

Please do not think of your mood swings as only destructive. Your state can be used creatively if you work with it. As long as you are constructive and self-reflective, you do not have to be perfect all the time, you are a person with changes that happen throughout the month and that is okay. As long as you are aware and can discuss it openly and are okay with criticism you are a good person, mood swings or not.

DemonicKronic · 2018-04-05T07:46:33+00:00

You're also allowed to feel the biological feeling of horniness. How you deal with that or dealt with that is entirely your choice. Love as you will, and I think sexuality is part of either/both loving yourself or giving that need of pleasure to someone you think can deliver it. No matter who you are. If there's a shortage somewhere that makes you feel unhappy, then work is needed. You can't just wish or hope for something. You need to say,

"I'm NOT this thing, I am something else." And work.

pink_sugar_ · 2018-04-10T23:22:52+00:00

Ok, first of all, you need to forgive yourself for having been a "slut". And don't call yourself that again, it's hurtful for your soul. You were promiscuous. It happens, for a lot of reasons. I would know, I was promiscus too, more than you, and it's a path of self hatred, low self esteem and loneliness. Feminists want to make it be a cool and liberated thing & girl power but it's just not. We're hardwired to get attached to an attractive man who's also good in bed after maybe just one time having sex, after multiple times surely. You are NOT a lost cause for marriage and family and you are not "used up" if you heal yourself mentally, emotionally and morally. The fact that you have posted here and you are self aware is a very good step. You need to start loving and respecting yourself. Before having sex with a man, develop a relationship before and don't let yourself be run by instinct and libido alone. Get to know him, see if you are compatible, laugh together, develop an attachment. Saying that you want marriage, look for someone suited for that.

For your PMS, I am not sure what advice do give you since I'm not a doctor but I can give you some anecdotal insight on it. I had been trough exactly the same thing as you, I had it awfully, just like you described, but my experience has been that PMS won't make you a raging monster unless you already have underlying unhappiness and frustration in your life. When I was unsatisfied with my life, with me as a person and with my love life, like you clearly are now, my PMS made it 1000% worse. That naturally calmed down as I got the life I wanted & I became generally happy.

LateralThinker13 · 2018-04-04T17:40:43+00:00

Diet and supplements can really manage PMS symptoms for many women, without touching birth control. See your doctor.

Title	PMS mood swings and used to be a slut? Not sure if there's hope for me. First post
Author	DependentStrawberry
Upvotes	32
Comments	41
Date	April 4, 2018 4:03 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/89qrzh/pms_mood_swings_and_used_to_be_a_slut_not_sure_if/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/pms-mood-swings-and-used-to-be-a-slut-not-sure-if.2802 https://theredarchive.com/post/2802

Comments