So what's sexually appealing to women?

accacaaccaca · 2014-06-13T16:48:03+00:00

The people who go out to bars/clubs every evening and actively try to have sex with as many people as possible. Playing the numbers game works.

nope_nic_tesla · 2014-06-13T16:24:38+00:00

I think it's important to first recognize you're conflating "most sexually appealing" with "most sexual activity". Someone can have a lot of sexual appeal but still not get a lot of sexual activity for the simple fact that they aren't constantly trying to get laid.

We_Are_Legion · 2014-06-13T18:41:25+00:00

I have two friends. One we'll call Ron, the other Barry. Ron was, at one point, a typical "nice guy". In high school he was chubby and unattractive until he lost weight over a summer. He's still a bit chubby and ok-looking, but he's not exactly a 10. For as long as I've known him he's been a sappy romantic, lecturing my friends and I on the correct way to kiss a girl and whatnot. When he went to college he changed a bit; joined a frat and adapted that kind of attitude, started wearing better-looking clothes and whatnot, but he's still the same quirky, weird guy.

My other friend, Barry, is pretty ripped. He runs miles pretty much on the daily, then gets home and does his crunches and sit-ups, all of this on top of gym time. He watches what he eats, is very clean, disciplined, and intelligent. He's very traditionally good-looking and has a very masculine appearance. He gets looks and compliments on this rather regularly. My own sister mentioned that he's very manly-looking.

Guess who gets laid more? Ron does. Ron has had plenty of casual hookups, and one I think even had a boyfriend at the time. Now, the quality of these girls could certainly be questioned, as well as Ron's selection preferences, but all the same: Ron's getting laid far and away more than Barry.

So, what's successful with women depends on the guy, and it depends on the girl.

cuittler · 2014-06-13T17:44:15+00:00

I don't believe there's any strategy or attribute that is universally sexy to every woman, except maybe health.

Speaking for myself, I don't find the muscled meaty dudes attractive, nor the pretty boy scouts from Glee or Disney channel. Guys who seem intelligent or fun are most attractive to me.

As for women in general, what I've noticed is guys who are articulate, funny, confident, socially aware, and kind to others are the most sought after. Being handsome and well dressed helps a lot (duh) but at least in college people usually date someone their own social "tribe" and seem to not date people from outside that clique.

Edit: this post is pretty ridiculous, BPers are getting attacked for giving their opinions, which is exactly what the OP is asking for.

[deleted] · 2014-06-13T19:27:02+00:00

Describe the type of guys you believe [...] who are engaged in the most sexual activity with the most female participants.

The guy most willing to lower his standards.

bijou88 · 2014-06-13T21:09:41+00:00

College age guys who are charismatic and social. They have the most energy, are welcome at the type of events where hookups happen, encounter large numbers of unattached females on a regular basis and still have their youthful looks.

shitpostwhisperer · 2014-06-13T16:35:42+00:00

Sex? This question is so vague I don't even know where you're trying for here.

GridReXX · 2014-06-13T15:29:31+00:00

I've been described as reticent or cool or even aloof.

So naturally I'm attracted to decent people who have that air about them as well.

I know you said no celebrities, but two males that would give you an idea of what I mean are Adrien Brody and Idris Elba.

They're sexy to me. They seem like they care immensely about the people they care about and like overall nice guys, but aren't really striving to fit in. That's the kind of confidence I find sexy. A strong sense of self.

It's what I like most about myself. And what most of the people who like me seem to point out.

Also important to note, Adrien Brody could easily be a tall, lanky, and down on himself, and thus not that good looking of a guy. He's one of the many people who through his presentation (style and demeanor) make himself more attractive than he might otherwise be.

Exner2 · 2014-06-13T17:05:31+00:00

I think there are two major factors, lifestyle and personality. In terms of lifestyle, musicians and actors (not rich or famous ones) tend to get a lot of action, in part because they are putting themselves out there and interacting with people regularly, often at night and when alcohol is involved. By that logic, I'd assume djs, bartenders, etc also probably do pretty well. But a regular guy who is social and likes meeting new people is obviously going to have more opportunities than a guy who stays in on the computer all day and night.

In terms of personality, confidence is clearly a big factor. No one of either pill is going to argue against that. But that can take many forms. The funny, outgoing guy and the quiet, mysterious guy may be equally self-assured. And confidence doesn't mean cocky, it just means someone who Is comfortable with who they are and what they've got going on. That is sexy.

TLDR: confident guys who put themselves in social situations.

OfSpock · 2014-06-13T22:12:36+00:00

The three men I know who were successful with women were all very good looking, facially and body wise. Two were tall but one was average height. Two were social and outgoing but the other was rather shy. One was a brunette and the other two were blonde. One was slender and the other two a more heavily built but not huge. They were all fun to be around and mentally healthy. All three are married now.

BaadKitteh · 2014-06-14T00:45:30+00:00

I have no idea what guys are getting the most action beyond dudebros who prey on drunk girls and the very wealthy, but I can tell you as a woman what I find sexually appealing.

Upon first meeting? Dark hair and light eyes that look at me directly, most glasses, smelling nice, strong hands with clean nails, tidy manscaping, and a deep voice.

To get past the first meeting:

Confident intelligence- the kind that doesn't need to condescend because it is not threatened.

A passion for something that isn't shallow; I want to see a light go on in your eyes when you tell me about it.

Compassion and willingness to show it.

A dark sense of humor and the awareness to know when it is appropriate.

It doesn't hurt to be a cinephile and enjoy conversations entirely made up of movie quotes, either. ;)

VarsitySlutTeamCpt · 2014-06-14T06:03:02+00:00

Attractiveness, humor, money

polyhooly · 2014-06-14T15:16:48+00:00

Probably guys who immerse themselves in women in environments where there are a lot of single women and sexual tension. As someone else said, it's a numbers game. These types of guys get rejected a lot. They don't dwell on it. They move onto the next girl.

ThorLives · 2014-06-14T00:14:51+00:00

I had seen an article a while back talking about the attributes that were correlated with college students getting laid. They mentioned three traits: extroversion, binge drinking, and I don't recall the third one. But I've seen information that sex in college is also correlated with not being a virgin pre-college and thrill-seeking behaviors.

When I think back to specific guys I know that slept with a lot of women:

There was one guy I was best friends with when we were younger. He was being raised by a single mother, he would develop these big crushes on girls in our social group and "date" them (we were in 6th grade or something, so using the word "date" seems weird). I think he started sleeping with girls before I had even kissed a girl. He would become sort of obsessed with whatever girl he was currently seeing. He was always getting in trouble (including running away from home and getting in trouble with the police), and his mom could barely control him. When he "dated", he was on an emotional rollercoaster. When they would break up with him, he would self-harm. He ended up getting a girl pregnant when he was 16 years old. His attributes: completely lovey with the girls he was with, emotionally unstable, and constantly getting in trouble with his mom and the police.
I knew some guys in their 20s who were good with women. They could talk your arm off. They would pickup girls from the bar and bring them back to their place to hang out and party (and sleep with them). They were forward with women. One of the guys had a shit job working at a factory or something, I'm not even sure if he graduated from high-school. At one point, I saw that guy, and he had broken one of his front teeth from a fight he had been in. In one case, I remember him walking into a female friend's apartment (who he had been hooking up with) and saying, "Hey K, do you want to fuck tonight?" (loud enough for a handful of people in the apartment to hear). Those two guy's attributes: did a good job talking, went after the women they wanted to sleep with, didn't care about making girls uncomfortable, had very little guilt about leading girls on in order to get them into bed, and didn't have much guilt about cheating on their girlfriends. I suppose the RP could read "alpha" into this, but I suppose they were if "aggressively going after the girl" is enough to qualify as "alpha". They generally didn't get into confrontations or competitions with other guys. They're not aloof or stoic.
I know another guy right now who sleeps around quite a bit. He's a big stoner. He gets all "lovey dovey" with girls - sometimes tells them things like "I've never really gotten to know you, I'd really like to know you better" ("getting to know a girl" always included "getting to know what my penis feels like inside her") and other times he just straight up asks them if they want to fuck. He talks a lot, and generally comes across as an open book, which makes him trustworthy. He often tries to talk women into sleeping with him (sometimes for hours at a time). Weed and sex are what make him most happy. He can also get into long conversations about relationships and what he did wrong in past relationships. He's in no way aloof or stoic or alpha. He does push pretty hard to get girls to sleep with him, though. He generally has a very positive attitude towards other people (both in terms of thinking that this or that person is a really great person, and in terms of thinking that this or that girl is beautiful). This comes back to bite him sometimes because some girls aren't as great as he initially believes they are. I wouldn't actually be interested in sleeping with most of the girls he's slept with, but he's happy.
Another guy I know who sleeps around a lot just straight-up asks girls to sleep with him. He doesn't seem overly sentimental, but not overly aloof, either. I'm also not that interested in sleeping with the girls he's slept with.

Of all these guys, I'd say the most common denominators are:

Generally talkative (more than the average guy), not stoic or aloof
Extroverted
Forward: will meet and attempt to isolate girls, and will press things forward with girls, even if it makes them uncomfortable, though I think they strive to make a girl feel comfortable because it's more effective than the opposite. I think a lot of BP men make the mistake of not pushing things forward with women because they want to be a gentleman or it makes them uncomfortable to do anything that might make the girl uncomfortable.
Most of them didn't do very well at following "the rules" - whether it was the "rule" of being polite to women, asking women if they "wanted to fuck", cheating on their girlfriends, or getting in trouble with the police. (Though this rule breaking wasn't always done in the same way.) This is probably connected to a general uninhibitedness, which is probably a good attribute to have because the opposite is a game-killer.
Two of the five tend to get a little too obsessed and emotional with some new girl he met (often leading to overly generous opinions of her), though I could understand how it would make the girl trust them more, though this wasn't really the case with the other 3 guys.
Generally, the guys had relatively low standards in women. A lot of the girls these guys slept with were not sexually appealing to me - not even as a hookup.
Two of the guys were bisexual. I doubt that it helped them get girls, but I think it's generally connected with being comfortable with their own sexuality. As a guy, you have to be willing to put yourself out there as a sexual being with sexual desires because more often than not, it's the man who has to push things forward in order for anything to happen. (And don't think that women are the only ones given negative messages about being sexual. Remember that women throw around the "creep" label, and a man who is openly sexual has a much higher chance of getting the "creep" label than the polite nice guy.) I also think a lot of BP men are somewhat uncomfortable with their own sexuality except in the "society sanctioned" situations of marriage and long term relationships. Bisexuality is also another example of breaking one of society's "rules".

fizolof · 2014-06-13T17:32:53+00:00

Nothing is appealing to women, every woman is a unique snowflake. It's misogynistic to ask what's appealing to all women, as if women were a collective.

And remember, you have to be yourself and to be respectful of women if you want women to sleep with you.

imissedaword · 2014-06-13T22:29:02+00:00

I feel like I watch a lot of suffering because people cannot acknowledge their own limitations.

Title	So what's sexually appealing to women?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	8
Comments	42
Date	June 13, 2014 3:13 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/2821q4/so_whats_sexually_appealing_to_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/so-whats-sexually-appealing-to-women.285498 https://theredarchive.com/post/285498

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