Have you or someone you know been accused of rape?

robesta · 2014-05-15T13:38:25+00:00

A male Soldier who worked for me in the Army was accused by a female Soldier of rape. About 3 months later, after the Soldier's name was dragged through the mud, it came out that she had cheated on her boyfriend while drunk with the guy and she wanted to make it look like it wasn't her fault. Nothing ever happened to the female Soldier. This was in 2002.

goatismycopilot · 2014-05-15T14:47:17+00:00

I am starting to think all we discuss in PP is rape.

DevilishRogue · 2014-05-15T18:31:28+00:00

I was with a friend of mine at university when he was arrested for rape. Turned out to be a case of mistaken identity as whoever did it had the same name. The university didn't get involved as the girl went to the police and not to the campus administrators, otherwise God knows how it might have turned out.

Many years later he was arrested again for a separate charge of rape by a more recent ex and the old charge came up and became common knowledge. Fortunately for him this ex had emailed him saying that she was going to falsely accuse him in a pique of anger before she did it. Otherwise it would have been he said/she said in front of a jury and it could have gone either way. As it was the earlier charge coming to light coupled with the current charge meant that he had to leave his home town after vigilante threats because many folk assumed that where there was smoke there was fire.

EDIT: A different friend was accused of sexual assault rather than rape. He was at a party and ended up in bed with this girl. They were fooling around and he said that when he moved his hand from her boobs to her jeans zipper she just got up and walked out. The next day he got beaten up by other guys at the party she she told them he sexually assaulted her. Cops weren't involved in that one so far as I'm aware.

[deleted] · 2014-05-15T14:15:15+00:00

Unfortunately I personally know a few men who have been accused and were innocent. Luckily, ~~not really~~ it never went as far as charges being pressed.

A close relative of mine was shot execution style over false claims. I'm grateful he survived and is completely healthy now. Physically anyway. I'm sure he has mental and emotional scars that are worse from the surgery he had.

I know of a man who (years ago) at 18 was dating a 16 year old and her parents filed rape charges. (They started dating when he was 17) He was listed as a sex offender and years later it created problems when he was going through a custody case. Everything worked out in the end but only after years and thousands of dollars spent on fighting and defending himself because of a lie.

Now with my husband being a soldier I see and hear about it often. I'm sure not all of the men in these incidents are innocent but so far the majority have been.

Exner2 · 2014-05-15T16:32:03+00:00

Yes. My cousin was kicked out of an extremely prestigious university in his senior year due to a sexual assault charge. I have no idea what really happened. I am typically pro-victim unless proven otherwise, and in this case I do not feel like it was necessarily an injustice (again, I don't know the details). But I can't help but feel like there must have been some kind of awful miscommunication. For me, it highlights how careful one needs to be when alcohol is involved.

tbasherizer · 2014-05-15T15:25:37+00:00

Girl got double teamed by 2 of my friends at a party, later regretted it and accused them of rape so she wouldn't look like a slut, charges didn't stick because it was obvious bullshit

spinnerthrow · 2014-05-16T01:56:24+00:00

I know a few people who I believe were accused falsely. Off the top of my head:

1 was a relative who was accused of doing things with myself and a sibling, when we were very little. To the best of my memory they did not, and for the record I and my sibling have always felt safe and comfortable with them.

2 was a guy I didn't know, but I knew the woman and she accused him to me in private. I believe the accusation was false because: when I asked if she had given her consent she said unambiguously that she had. No drugs or alcohol were involved, no force or threat of force nor deception. I thought this was strange, and remember asking her about it a couple weeks later: she had no recollection of ever making such an accusation and in fact had started dating the guy in question.

3 was a man I knew, and again the accusation was spoken in private to me by a woman I knew, but the alleged victim was actually a third person who I did not know. The third person did not make the claim of rape, but this woman did so on their behalf. Again I asked if consent was given, and again the answer was unambiguously affirmative. Again no drugs or alcohol were involved, no force or threat of force, etc. The woman making the accusation had motive to want to portray the man in a bad light (the man and woman had had a falling out, and I think she was trying to turn their mutual friends against him).

4 was a man when he was accused, but the accusation related to things done years before. Two girls accused him, and emphasized their youth at the time, but apparently didn't realize that the man would have only been a boy, and not physically capable of all the things they accused him of. What's more, due to my relationship to the people involved, if they'd been telling the truth, then I would have been a witness.

edited: removed extra words

SirNemesis · 2014-05-16T07:14:18+00:00

No. I don't know anyone who has, to my knowledge, been accused of rape (falsely or justly). Also, why're people who provide anecdotes of false accusations getting downvoted?

cascadecombo · 2014-05-16T08:43:36+00:00

I've had a girl spread rumors about me raping her/taking advantage of her after I refused to have sex with her.

At the time I was on medication that instructed me not to drink alcohol (which didn't matter since I had no interest drinking at the time, sophomore in college). While at a party a girl I had previously had a thing for told me she wanted to stay at my dorm for the night.

She drinks a bit (not drunk at all) I stay sober as I had always done and we go back to my place. After we hop into bed, I initiate and we start making out. Things heat up and end up taking her pants off and start fingering her. It continues to escalate and she tells me she wants me inside her. At this point in time I'm still a virgin and not really wanting to have my first time in my dorm with my roommate just 15 feet away. So first I tell her I don't have a condom, she said just pull out, then I tell her my roommates there and we should get in the shower/bathroom (wasn't smooth at all but hell I was an idiot still). After a bit of time I decide against sex then and there mostly because of the roommate in the same room (I'm not really sure if he would have cared at all).

Anyway, I go to sleep and we part ways in the morning, over the next few days a few friends come up to me to tell me she's telling people I got drunk and tried to take advantage of her / rape her. Neither of us were drunk or impaired at all at any point in the night.

Luckily, my character and the relationships I had with our shared friends was more than enough for them to disbelieve anything negative she had to say about me in regards to that event. However, I will never forget the feeling when I heard for the first time someone had accused me of raping them when absolutely nothing of the sort had happened.

[deleted] · 2014-05-16T08:48:44+00:00

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[deleted] · 2014-05-18T09:07:56+00:00

My ex boyfriend was accused of rape of his ex girlfriend. Not legally, it was all handled by our university, and he got off. He told me it was a false accusation. I believed him at the time, but I know for a fact now that he is a rapist so I doubt he was all that innocent. Several girls at our school never formally came forward, but I've heard stories from them about his history of rape and sexual assault.

There was one guy I worked with who claimed to have been falsely accused of assault. He described the situation to me in his own words and it sounded a lot like assault. Apparently the girl was wavering and he pushed her head down "to encourage her" and let her go when she started gagging, so she got up and ran away and then told all her friends she forced him, what a bitch and stuff. But pushing her head down until she gagged?

I'd like to say I have stories on the other side, but I don't. I don't have a whole ton of male friends, and of the ones I have they mostly fly under the radar. So I don't know anyone falsely accused, but I worry my brother will get himself on the sex registry. He has a younger girlfriend(he is 21, she is legal in her country and some states in the US) and when she was underage it made me super nervous because he's not...he didn't even have sex with her, he's just in love and careless. But everything's fine and they live in different countries, never met in person, so it shouldn't be a problem.

sac66064 · 2014-05-19T03:26:31+00:00

Yup. I've been falsely accused of rape. Its a long long long story but the extremely abridged version is that every girl at University, with the exception of a few who knew the real story, assumes i'm a rapist...and acts accordingly.

[deleted] · Fri May 16 0:01:18 2014 UTC

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[deleted] · 2014-05-17T02:55:43+00:00

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GaiusScaevolus · 2014-05-15T23:42:17+00:00

I only know one guy who was accused. It was a simple case of a drunk slut who was angry at her bf and later didn't want to admit she cheated on him.

Follow up question; How many women do you (plural) know that claim to have been sexually assaulted/raped? For me it's like 3/4, which makes me skeptical because it's really not like I hang out at police stations or women's shelters.

accacaaccaca · 2014-05-15T21:13:47+00:00

[deleted] · 2014-05-20T04:52:26+00:00

Two stories.

Story 1:

First my brother's nephew (sister-in-law's kid) was accused of rape. He was 17 and had a GF at the time (about the same age). The kid is a doofus - flat out dumb ass. The girl was a serial rape accuser, wasn't her first accusation. They had a sexually active relationship and as the story goes, the girl initiated sex with the boy and then immediately afterwards accused him of rape.

Turns out the girl had a crush on a mutual friend of theirs and then went to the friend and said she was raped right afterwards. Friend, sensing he was next in line to get the pussy, corroborated her story.

Brother's nephew gets arrested. Brother's sister in law has to put up her house as collateral to get kid bonded out of jail (with ankle bracelet). She hires both attorney and at the attorney's behest a private investigator to monitor accuser's activity. Girl is now romantically involved apparently with kid who is corroborating story.

Fast forward 6 months. Things looking bad for nephew - he's formally indicted by grand jury. They have two witnesses saying kid is a rapist and a rape kit with his DNA on it. DA offers plea deal of something like 40 months in state prison. Looks like they might be headed for trial.

Private investigator reveals transcripts of girl bragging to friends on Facebook about how she had to setup nephew for rape because he was pathetic and clingy. She liked mutual friend and she didn't know how else to dump nephew. The rape accusation was seen by her as a convenient method of ending relationship, apparently.

It was a wild stroke of luck that girl slipped up and told this story online to friends (who alerted PI). The kid would still be in jail if this deranged female had her way. Talk about seeing men as disposable... Makes you really question which gender really has the issue with privilege.

BTW, attorney and PI cost brother's sister in law 10s of thousands of dollars. Could you imagine if the family was poor? Yeah the kid would be in jail right now.

Story 2:

My other brother, who is 37 now, was hospitalized by a group of 17-19 years olds when he was 16 after a former GF accused him of raping her. She was another serial false accuser. They were dating casually, never had any sex, but my brother sensed she was weird and decided to dump her and focus on school, sports, being a kid, etc...

Both of my brothers were the nicest kids going in high school (I was the hellion). They got good grades, participated in school activities, played sports, were preppy types, etc... Real sweethearts - the both of them.

This girl my brother was briefly involved with - her name was Shannon (real name) - had a trail of rape accusations behind her. She was a twisted up kid with a highly dysfunctional home who discovered rape accusations got her LOADS of attention. The boy she told the story to was 18 or 19 and ran with a group of guys - whom were known as being troublesome. They had the girl call my brother and ask to talk to him. They went to my parents house, girl knocked on door, my brother answered "Hey guys what's up?" and then 5 older boys beat the shit out him - requiring him to go to the hospital for a couple of days.

I remember visiting my brother in the hospital quite vividly. His face was swollen up, fractured eye socket. Not good stuff. I was 21 at the time. From the time I was 11 years old to 17, I went to martial arts training classes. I wasn't someone you wanted to fuck with. I was pissed off to say the least. I grabbed a pair of brass knuckles I borrowed from a friend and went cruising in my brothers car with a baseball cap on pretending to be my brother. I couldn't find the ring leader of the group, which in retrospect is fortunate for me.

Less than a year later, same ringleader of group kicks random drunk man to death at a party. He spends about 3-4 years in jail without bail and was finally found not guilty by reason of self defense. His dad was rich and bought the most expensive attorney in town (former mayor).

A few years later after that, I must have been 27ish, I was at a party and ran into the dude by himself. He turned ghost white when he saw me and ducked out the back door. Although I wasn't pleased, I let him go. A short while after that, he somehow managed to contact my brother and apologized to him for what he had done years earlier. My thoughts are 3-4 years in the felony pretrial holding ward of our downtown jail had taken the starch out of him. We all believed him to be authentically contrite.

The girl that falsely accused my brother is a fucking train wreck. She was a stripper for a few years before disappearing off the face of the earth with rampant drug problems. I think the last anyone I know has seen or heard of her was maybe 10 years ago.

I have other stories of false accusations I know of. It makes me laugh when people say such things are infrequent anomalies. I've definitely known some women over the years who have told me they were raped, but always their stories seem dubious at best, mostly all stories of regretful sex. I don't think I know any women who has an honest jump out of the bushes rape or rufie-dosed date rape history.

This is the kind of shit that makes me roll my eyes and take rape narratives with a grain of salt. Women seem to brand any kind of regretful sex as rape. They lack agency.

I would have all the empathy in the world for a woman who I knew to be raped, at least in a sense I would define as authentic. Does anyone remember the movie Leaving Las Vegas with Nic Cage? This is Reddit - everyone here knows every Cage movie. The scene where Elizabeth Shue gets raped was pretty brutal. That to me is what rape is, not Oops I had too many cosmos and made a bad decision.

Grouping the former in with the latter seems wildly disingenuous to me. Even if you remove agency from the woman and say after .08 or .10 BAC she's no longer responsible for what sexual decisions she makes, still equating one with the other still comes off to me as incredible bullshit. We're talking about the difference between a violent brutal attack and questionable decisions made in a drunken haze. To me, these things are not the same.

3g0syst3m · 2014-05-20T07:33:23+00:00

Best friends fiancé was charged with rape and he went to jail for it. He was young and it fucked up his education big time. Luckily for him he was good with IT and has been able to make a good living though that. False accusations are a horrible thing, however, so it molestation and rape. The problem is, is that when you have been raped/molested you are more likely going to say nothing rather then something as you would rather pretend nothing happened. It makes the false accusations even more disgusting then ever as then when someone does come through people are not going to believe it.

Femme_Murican · 2014-05-24T20:40:25+00:00

My husband, it was when we first started dating, a girl said that she was going to say he raped her and he threatened to kill her if she did. She was really crazy and had a ton of mental issues. She got the wrong impression from him and thought he was cheating on me for her when in reality the furthest it got was him buying her food just one day. That story really freaks me out but I think he made the right choice

rulenumber303 · 2014-05-15T17:58:35+00:00

I personally know no-one who has been accused of rape, falsely or otherwise... I'm sure I must have met somone like that at some stage bt not socialised enough with them to remember them. This is probably part luck, part that if something seems "off" about someone they are pushed outside my sphere and quickly forgotten, part that I've never lived in a share house other than with an asexual friend, and part that I avoid people and places where drugs or alcohol are a large factor.

jacks1000 · 2014-05-15T14:59:41+00:00

Never been accused of rape, don't know anyone who has ever been accused of rape.

Well, my ex-girlfriend used to bring up this one time I "raped" her but she always said it with a twinkle in her eye, so I think she liked it.

Title	Have you or someone you know been accused of rape?
Author	SpaceWhiskey
Upvotes	3
Comments	91
Date	May 15, 2014 1:20 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/25mfu4/have_you_or_someone_you_know_been_accused_of_rape/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/have-you-or-someone-you-know-been-accused-of-rape.285732 https://theredarchive.com/post/285732

Comments

1 was a relative who was accused of doing things with myself and a sibling, when we were very little. To the best of my memory they did not, and for the record I and my sibling have always felt safe and comfortable with them.