Inspired by this post in PPD earlier this week.

One of the things I talk about a lot on reddit - especially on /r/askmen, which I mod - is the idea that the sexual "marketplace" (please, hold your cheers and/or jeers with that term) is much different for men vs women, and ESPECIALLY MUCH VERY SUCH DIFFERENT for young men vs young women.

Which happens to be reddit's demo, of course.

What that means a little too often is that "ideas for dating" and "ideas to have sex" don't translate super-well across gender for young men and women. You see this a LOT in the gender subreddits, and you see it mocked a LOT in the TRP/TBP/seduction/TwoXSex style places.

For context, it's the kind of place that "don't ask a fish for advice on fishing" comes from and where advice like "just put yourself out there" comes from.

I think the casual sex scene is MUCH MUCH different for young men vs young women, and I think that's especially true because we as a society fetishize youth in women. You can see the effect of this when /r/askmen talks about how the dating scene "changes" as men age. Universally, normal dudes seem to have an easier time dating, having casual sex, and generally "playing the field" as they get to their late twenties and early thirties.

(before someone else says it: I think part of that is the fact that women tend to more-prefer older partners, yes)

So try to pretend you're 20. You want to have some casual sex. That means a couple things: one, you'll need to pursue it, because odds are close to zero (unless you're a young Brad Pitt) that anyone will approach you and flirt with you. Two, you'll need to learn the "right" - heavy emphasis on those scare quotes - things to say in any situation. And three, you'll need to be not-rapey. You are a good guy. You don't want to scare women. So you need to be safe-seeming, yet very forward.

My point here is that, for reddit's demographic of young men (and specifically, not young women) there is a critical mass of men who would like to have sex with women, yet have a reasonable fear of coming off as creepy or sex-starved or too forward in a way that women don't have to worry about. So you end up with a lot of young guys who battle between I want to have sex and other dudes are having sex so let's go out there and try to get laid and I don't want to be That Guy who is solely out there pursuing sex at any cost.

And I think that concept is often lost on young women who don't have to worry about these problems. Go take a look at /r/letsgetlaid or /r/twoxchromosomes - young women have it significantly "easier" (scare quotes again quite intended because it's VERY complicated out there) than men on the sexual market.

Which means, if you're a guy, you have a higher likelihood of just saying

FUCK IT I DON'T CARE IF I CREEP A FEW CHICKS OUT I'M GONNA GO GET LAID

Thoughts?