Any experience with therapy?

hack3ge · 2019-10-24T14:06:16+00:00

I've been in individual therapy for years. What's interesting is that the advice almost always mirrors the advice I get from here - focus on yourself, you can't control others, figure out what you want, etc. etc.

Just find someone who will challenge you and objectively see things. There are some shit therapists out there.

They won't solve your problems but they'll help you figure out what YOUR problems are to solve and give you some tools to solve them.

lololasaurus · 2019-10-24T15:28:14+00:00

I went to one for some help because my wife turned everything I did into "abuse" and frankly I got stuck. I didn't want to abuse anyone but it was a just a manipulative tactic to try and control me. And it worked, really well, for a long time. This helped me break free of that problem and live again.

A few sessions of explaining what was going on and my therapist actually recommended I redo NMMNG, and has since added WISNIFG as homework she gives out.

But it depends on the therapist. Mainly mine encourages me to own my stuff and assert myself. I don't see her much anymore; the abuse thing was the real breakthrough for me.

ellifino · 2019-10-24T14:09:03+00:00

If you need it, go. I’ve been when I went through my divorce. Looking back though, the therapist helped me put words into what I was feeling (feelz).

I’m frustrated now that I couldn’t do that myself. We as men keep ourselves busy and try to squish the feelz down. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. When it doesn’t, it’s because we aren’t properly processing them. Some people need a therapist to help them.

What I should have done first is work on myself. Read about what I was going through. Learn and read, read and learn. Learn how to process anger, frustration, joy, sadness, and all of those crazy feelz - but process them like a man. You decide what that looks like. There’s certainly examples of what it does NOT look like, but you be your own judge.

A therapist should be a small sidestep to help you get to be where you are your own therapist. Your therapist’s goal should be to give you the toolset to not need to come back after a while.

fannyfire · 2019-10-24T16:13:15+00:00

Something that may shock you is that you could have mental health issues. I started going about a month ago and as it turns out, I had a very abusive childhood. You may be seeking out therapy because what other people can naturally do, you can’t because you have underlying problems like anxiety, depression, PTSD, or BPD. You might discover that when you begin doing personality tests, you aren’t the person you thought you were. My therapy sessions have been a very eye opening experience into my behavior and overall attitude towards life. It confirmed many of my beliefs but also provided new insights for self reflection.

If you think you need it, go. It may be useful, might not be.

SBIII · 2019-10-24T15:11:17+00:00

I don’t have any chronic mental health issues but would like some expert opinion on building my sense of self.

Do you know what builds frame and mental strength?

Self discipline and consistency.

Do you know the best way to build frame and mental strength?

Under a squat rack.

Instead of hitting the gym three times a week, make it five. Cheapest fucking therapy you'll ever get.

Plus it'll give you muscles.

Win, win.

Smuggler-Tuek · 2019-10-24T15:43:30+00:00

Helps a lot if it’s a good therapist. I’ve had a shitty one and a great one. Still go to the great one. As far as people saying that marriage counseling together doesn’t work it’s highly dependent on the therapist and how much you work on yourself. Taking my wife to therapy for a long time actually helped her tackle her low self confidence issues and baggage from her fucked up childhood. It’s made the rest of my progress smoother and she’s been more readily receptive to the changes.

ImNotSlash · 2019-10-24T13:52:28+00:00

I have nothing against therapists. I've been to plenty and they all had positives and negatives.

But you didn't specify how you found yours (nor do you need to). In other words, do you and they share the same beliefs? You wouldn't ask a rabbi how to go through catechism.

A therapist can't help if you don't believe in the system.

Really, what it comes down to is you need to do the work to identify the path and then identify the mentors that can guide you along. Otherwise it's a waste of time.

arm_candy · 2019-10-24T15:18:43+00:00

What are you going to therapy for? A good therapist can probably help you with specific problems. No therapist is going to be much help if you don’t know why you’re there.

red-sfpplus · 2019-10-24T15:19:13+00:00

I would recommend AA, NA or CA over therapy.

People are actually owning their shit in recovery.

samwiser92 · 2019-10-28T21:49:17+00:00

I’ve used therapy on and off over the years and some better than others. TBH, finding MRP and owning my shit and (finally) working out has done more for me this past year than all the therapists and drugs over the years. I’m off drugs and much calmer, happy and my own mental point of origin now. NMMNG has been a life-saver for me.

themerovingian01 · 2019-10-24T13:49:42+00:00

Couples counseling never, ever works. Individual counseling can be helpful for a variety of reasons including building your sense of self? Have you ever seen Billions?

that2didpass · 2019-10-25T01:04:45+00:00

Agreed. Lifting has been huge for me. Seeing the progress and literally pushing myself to new PRs is amazing. Part of my current MAP is to increase gym time.

Imaginary_Historian · 2019-10-25T02:15:21+00:00

I've seen a psychologist. I vetted him out before I even considered seeing him. He specializes in counseling men. Has a Ph.D., he's conservative with traditional values but not overly pious, and he seems to understand women in a RP way. So, you can find good counselors who really get it.

hack3ge · 2019-10-24T13:48:35+00:00

Ah yes another faggot here who wants others to solve his problems and doesn’t want to own his shit. I can see how this is going to go already...

Title	Any experience with therapy?
Author	that2didpass
Upvotes	2
Comments	28
Date	October 24, 2019 1:45 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/dmgm9o/any_experience_with_therapy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/any-experience-with-therapy.292537 https://theredarchive.com/post/292537

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