In A LTR 2 Years Now. Girlfriend Booked A Vacation With Her Girlfriend. I'm Feeling Weird

whammyfeet · 2019-11-13T15:15:22+00:00

Girls nightS and girls trips are about dudes. We both know this. She’s going to be acting single And going as far as whatever cute guy that wants her takes it. I would tell her I’m not cool with it but I wont control her. And I would say this only one time. I’d Let her go and start mentally preparing to do my own thing. I wouldn’t even call her text her and I would feel completely free to do as I pleases while she’s gone And I’d book whatever trip I wanted without taking to her about it. The play here is to let go not hold on tighter.

RedSkeller · 2019-11-13T14:46:58+00:00

Think about it from her perspective, why would you want to travel without your boyfriend of 2 years? It's a sign that she doesn't care or respect you. Traveling and foreign dick is truly an intoxicating experience and shit will happen. I'd book your trip and treat it like you're single, because in many ways you are already.

ViolentInteger · 2019-11-13T16:18:32+00:00

Let's say there's a guy with high SMV (attained through many years of hard work) with an LTR that he vetted properly. She books a vacation with her female friend.

That guy knows that he's the prize, so he isn't worried that she will cheat on him. In fact, even if very physically attractive guys hit on her, she wouldn't even notice. Furthermore, in the unlikely case that another total-package kind of guy takes a liking to her, he knows that with everything he brings to the table, he can replace her quickly with plates, FWBs, and/or LTRs if he so chooses. He isn't hers; its only her turn. His confidence and DNGAF attitude just splooshes her panties that much more.

See how in this situation, there's no point in worrying about the trip? The fact that you're worried about it shows that your SMV isn't high enough, you vetted her poorly, and/or your frame and outcome-independence needs work.

Let her go. Keep all that insecurity to yourself, and start working on your fundamental problems.

GayLubeOil · 2019-11-13T17:31:55+00:00

Here's an interesting question what would happen if you took a break from paying your rent? Hey landlord I really enjoy living here but it's expensive I'ma spend my rent money on something else for a couple of months but please continue to let me live here.

i-am-the-prize · 2019-11-13T15:35:11+00:00

context will help.

in my experience, my LTR has done this, but only after checking with me - in that:

it's a group of friends/women I know and approve of (there are some whom I know their husbands and know the women for 10+ yrs; there is another group who she doesn't travel with who are divorced and out of control (tinder single moms)) AWALT but there is definitely a difference on what the 2 groups do for fun at night.
it's a destination we do not have on our bucket-list (certain places we want to go-to together, period.)
it's discussed before she books, maybe because we share a bank account,the money side applies, and your LTR is GF only? but you finding out after the fact is not by accident and it communicates her state of mind.

solution:

raise your SMV
do not get jealous/needy
book your own trip, not as a reaction/butt-hurt response but because you had one planned/it's something you claim to do
abundance mindset
OI/NGAF mindset
be the prize

you may not believe me when I say this, but the way to not let this bother you is simply to not care if she leaves you. literally decide that if it ends, so be it, you'll find another/better one after. just DNGAF.

ekmetzger · 2019-11-13T14:38:46+00:00

Plan your trip to South America and go no matter what -- don't worry so much about what she's doing. If she's going on an international trip with one of her female friends, it, uhh, well, results vary but it's prob not gonna' be good for ya.

PhaedrusHunt · 2019-11-13T19:08:33+00:00

Eddie Murphy told us a long time ago what these trips are about.

The only trip my wife ever took alone was when her mother died.

The other day she was talking about one of her friends who's going to have a birthday party in New Orleans in a couple of weeks and that it would be fun to go and she has this FOMO. I looked at her and raised my eyebrow and asked her if she wanted to go by herself (I'm not exactly in a position to just leave with a weeks notice). "No! Of course not! I don't want to go anywhere without you!"

This is the reaction that you want. Of course she's probably more worried about me doing something while she's gone than reasons I have to be worried. But my dread game is on point.

Anyway dude I would say that this thing is probably winding down. Enjoy the rest of your turn.

And tell her to say hello to Dexter.

https://youtu.be/g6h1IP7eYiU

TheFowo · 2019-11-13T15:21:29+00:00

I think you're overreacting a LOT. If you know you're the best option she has, why be scared of something that might happen? Like, holy fuck, you guys really gotta be insecure if you don't want to let your gf spend some time with her female friends. She wants to spend time with them, 6 days in total and you're making huge deal out of it like she is 100% gonna betray you. Grow some balls, you all talk about idgaf attitude but when it comes to things you're acting defensively, trying to protect her from nonexistent danger. If she's a slut she will betray you sooner or later and you cannot stop her

not_russian_bot · 2019-11-13T16:33:56+00:00

You’re broke and don’t have your shit together. You should be going on a vacation with your girl - but you aren’t. This relationship will be over within a year. She will hook-up, without a doubt in my mind.

Lord_ImperialSurname · 2019-11-13T20:07:11+00:00

Sounds like sex tourism. I would be really suspicious if I were you.

Sweetdreams18 · 2019-11-13T20:12:28+00:00

OP, just accept she‘s going to cheat, I was in your situation 10 years ago and asked the same shit on a redpill forum

If you feel unsure about her, that feel is there for a reason, always trust it

SeasonedRP · 2019-11-13T20:57:39+00:00

Some of the commenters are naive. Girls go on trips like this to drink and meet guys. The notion that if you have high SMV, you don't have anything to worry about, is wrong. I wouldn't say anything to her, but I wouldn't treat her as an LTR any longer.

Nice of her not to talk to you about it before booking it, and to have booked it knowing you don't approve. Ignore these red flags at your peril.

FocusOnYourGoals · 2019-11-13T15:16:45+00:00

Drop this LTR or embrace being a cuck.

RedHoodhandles · 2019-11-13T23:48:25+00:00

Sorry bro but your relationship is over.

Since i've read somewhere here that you are living with her your biggest concern now should be how you can end the relationship as smooth as possible.

Don't listen to these dazed guys in here who confuse mate guarding with bitch management and the crossing of hard boundaries.

You could covertly demote her to 'plate' as it is an often mentioned exit strategy for an LTR who has gone south. I don't know why that would ever work, leave alone dragging a person along whom I now despise. Why would I fuck that any longer?

Just exit. Clean cut. Focus on SMV improvement and then... I don't know. Rinse and repeat. Find god. Whatever. Try to enjoy the decline. GL.

McVaghunter · 2019-11-13T16:15:58+00:00

Just because you don't have what it takes to spin plates and enjoy your limited time in this life doesn't mean she shouldn't take advantage of her options by "traveling with the girls" (if you know what I mean... but since you obviously don't, it means enjoying some high SMV dick) every now and then.

Females have sexual desires too, so don't blame her. You're her long term BB safety net, so don't worry she'll be back.

CainPrice · 2019-11-13T18:45:06+00:00

Exotic beach vacations to the Seychelles are for two things:

Romantic couples, such as people on their honeymoon.
Young singles going on a spring break-style trip to drink a lot and hook up.

If you're not going with her, the trip is going to be about drinking a lot, and her and her friend chatting with cute shirtless guys in bathing suits about watersports, fully convinced in their minds that it's just polite conversation until things seem to get out of hand later that night after a lot of drinking and one of the two girls says "what the heck" because they're a thousand miles from home and nobody will know anyway.

If you're a young pair of girls, you can't not flirt with guys on a trip like this. Over six days, they'll literally save a thousand bucks having guys buy their drinks. Part of the fun for this trip is going to be flirting with guys. Maybe they don't intend to fuck anybody and just have some "harmless" flirty fun, but shit happens when you drink a lot and you're a thousand miles from home and feel freer than you've felt in a long time.

Cody_Silver · 2019-11-13T16:22:21+00:00

Demote to plate, not because of the trip, but because she booked it knowing you did not approve and not talking to you about it first. She is not LTR material.

I would not tell her a thing, still hang out with her while you are adding other plates. I doubt you will do this though. From highlander: “I would save you the pain brother”. This will lead to more issues.

At a minimum, define your hard boundaries, because she is going to cross them. When she does, stand up straight, grab your balls, and act like a man. This how guys end up married to a women who just spend whatever they want regardless of the family budget, has male “friends”, etc.

DetroitGangster · 2019-11-13T16:25:46+00:00

The sub is pretty insane when it comes to these things imo... I agree that if you make it a big deal it will scream nothing but insecurity and weakness. Plan your own trip with your friends and use dread to your advantage instead. If you vetted her properly before you went LTR and are a high SMV male you shouldn’t let it bother you. This is not the final destination situation this sub always makes it seem like. There has to be some level of trust in an LTR because there is no point otherwise. If your gut tells you to break up with her, then do it and stop being such an insecure bitch.

SalesAficionado · 2019-11-13T19:47:57+00:00

It's over dude. I would hard next her.

Don_Draper27 · 2019-11-13T23:28:27+00:00

I'm in an LTR and I don't think she would even consider doing something remotely like this. She'd beg me to go or she won't go at all.

tripwithweird · 2019-11-14T02:31:07+00:00

[deleted]

tripwithweird · 2019-11-13T15:10:25+00:00

The fact that you capitalized the word "vacation" says two things: Trump has helped ruin our national discourse, and that the idea has an out-sized effect on you.

Anyway, I do a great deal of travel myself.

Ever tap any strange while you're out there?

In A LTR 2 Years Now. Girlfriend Booked A Vacation With Her Girlfriend. I'm Feeling Weird

Comments

Not the point, if you have an obligation, and you miss it you are not entitled to the benefits of that arrangement.

Title	In A LTR 2 Years Now. Girlfriend Booked A Vacation With Her Girlfriend. I'm Feeling Weird
Author	tripwithweird
Upvotes	19
Comments	134
Date	November 13, 2019 2:32 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/dvskno/in_a_ltr_2_years_now_girlfriend_booked_a_vacation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/in-a-ltr-2-years-now-girlfriend-booked-a-vacation.295078 https://theredarchive.com/post/295078