Competing with older men.

shogunofsarcasm · 2019-09-04T02:03:03+00:00

Women that want older men aren't the ones you should be going for. There are many women that don't like more than a 5 year gap or women who like younger men.

mischiffmaker · 2019-09-04T02:27:23+00:00

You sound like you don't pick up on social cues very well. Maybe you should work on that aspect of yourself. It probably has a lot more to do with you feeling like you can't compete than your current age.

As a former young girl, I really wasn't ever attracted to men more than a few years older or younger than myself. Within two-three years of my own age was my preference.

I couldn't understand other girls who went with men 10 years older than they were, but then my mom married my dad who was 14 years older than her, so go figure. They were married 42 years.

People are different and want different things than other people.

boardgaming234 · 2019-09-04T07:07:36+00:00

You're reading into it too much.

A simple way that you can get out of your head is to internalize the message that most things in life isn't some catastrophic disaster with negative lifelong consequences. Do not keep a laundry list of grudges and shitty things happening to you as a license to be jealous or get back at the world. You are doing the latter with " My manager messed around a girl my age and hes as old as my mom", and " I remember reading the story one time where the main character...". To be blunt, this is kind of pathetic. Let go of the insecurity.

You need to understand that women do not respond very well to "transactional relationships". Women do not view relationships like that. You can pay a prostitute to fuck you, but you can't make her want to do it. I assume you're of the analytical type and think in this logical stream: I want a relationship, hence I will improve myself to please women, women will like me, hence relationship is had. The issue here is that you can't make women like you. You can only put yourself out there more. Half the battle is just finding women who will do the stuff that you want to do with her.

Your exes dated you, then they dated older men. Do you want to know why? It's because as you said, they are very sexually liberated. They want to experience all there is to experience sexually. What for? Well, if I had to guess: the sane ones understand that it's because they're doing it for fun and to gain perspective. The insane ones think that it's to ultimately find their soul mate. Of course, I know that understanding this doesn't exactly make it any easier.

And hence this is also way girls talk about guys they like in front of guys they like. They think that guys understand how they view relationships, hence they think you wouldn't be hurt by it! To them, there's noting wrong with doing that.

If I had to bluntly summarize what I'm trying to say, it's to grow thicker skin. You can't take any of what your exes or females dating older men as a personal attack on you. Or women taking about guys they like. You just have to accept it as a man. Ever scrapped your knee as a child?

Your main concern shouldn't be about money. It's should be obtaining the power necessary to control your life's course. Money is only a manifestation of such power. There's the process of building yourself physically and mentality to be the type of person that could obtain wealth and status that you are not accounting for. You need to grow as a person in order to do that.

In summary, let go of the insecurity. Grow thicker skin. Work on improving yourself for the sake of improving yourself. Whether that be in looks, confidence, financially or spiritually.

Rad1Red · 2019-09-04T13:35:48+00:00

So your exes liked older men. At least for a while. I always liked younger men. People are different.

The bigger issue here is that you aren't picking up on social cues. A touch of ASD, perhaps? If so, don't worry. Speaking from personal experience, social cues can be learned and you will get better in time.

For now, get over the idea that you are somehow inferior to older men in "women's" eyes. You are not. You are what you make of yourself, and youth does present the great advantage of energy, vitality and open-mindedness.

Competing with other men over women feels ridiculous to you? Then don't. The ones with the most success in this area aren't "winning over others" anyway. It's not the Olympics. And even in the Olympics, people are winning because they do their best to be valuable themselves. They work on themselves. Everyone is inferior to someone else in some way or another. If you always concentrate on the others, you end up killing your confidence over nothing.

TheMadWoodcutter · 2019-09-04T03:16:16+00:00

Older men who go for younger women tend to have serious personality flaws. They'll figure out sooner or later why older men who date younger women tend to be looked down on.

Barneysparky · 2019-09-04T13:51:51+00:00

Girls your age want a boyfriend who is also their friend, something that older guys can't give them.

Pastelitomaracucho · 2019-09-04T14:46:40+00:00

You will be part of the older men sooner than you think.

ihaveasmallpeniss · 2019-09-04T11:08:20+00:00

Well, coming from mostly incel spaces, I see this as good news since they believe that men hit “the wall” faster than women.

Bystander93 · 2019-09-04T18:42:27+00:00

Hey man, get out of your head for a moment and try to take this in. A lot of your concerns are based on biases you hold due to a misogynistic view of women that have been fed to you. Women are not sexual objects that only exist to sit there and wait for men to “compete” over them. They have their own desires and each person looks for a different set of qualities in another.

You are correct that there are women who specifically look for men with status, success, money, fame, attractiveness, etc. On the flip side, there are also men who specifically look for women with youth, beauty, simplicity, and naivety. The point is, there are always people who care for nothing beneath superficial qualities. And you are correct that you may not attract women who are looking for these things.

HOWEVER, please don’t catastrophize and over exaggerate the proportion of people who are like this. Challenge yourself to look past the couples and women that you are focusing your attention on, and realize that there are many people who get together because they were attracted to the unique qualities of that certain individual despite the superficial. And that’s not something that you can try to change yourself to be, because everyone likes different things. People stay together because of that special chemistry, how they get along, and that je ne sais quoi. Think about it. Even if you like big titties, you’re probably not going to have a crush on EVERY girl with big tits right? There’s no guarantee you’ll like the girl with the BIGGEST titties the most, right?

To reiterate, “hypergamy” is not a real thing. Most women are not constantly looking for a richer, more attractive man. They are looking for someone that they connect with. That’s why ugly men find partners. Fat men find partners. Disabled men find partners. A woman out there was attracted to them. The reason you’re not attracting women is because you are thinking about it too much, and the desperation inevitably shows in your interactions - whether that is neediness, being too persistent, overly cocky, or being bitter...trust me, it shows.

DXBrigade · 2019-12-06T22:30:42+00:00

Women in general prefer men their own age, but old men are obsessed with Young women. So you Don't have to worry about older men, you have an advantage, so to speak.

shill_420 · 2019-09-04T01:20:35+00:00

I’m 32. Get in shape, stay in shape. Best of luck.

Available_Ad9254 · 2024-12-04T18:06:27+00:00

Find yourself a milf, If you have to compete with them for girls your age, they should have to do the same.

Title	Competing with older men.
Author	defo18
Upvotes	19
Comments	55
Date	September 3, 2019 11:42 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/czcucq/competing_with_older_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/competing-with-older-men.299613 https://theredarchive.com/post/299613

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