American Murder: 7 Relationship Lessons That Could Save Your Life

EclecticBarbarella · 2020-10-12T02:14:12+00:00

I watched the Netflix doc with no prior knowledge of this case and as soon as she was like “he was the best thing that ever happened to me!” I knew he was gonna kill her. It’s just... too common.

umbralgarden · 2020-10-12T04:09:21+00:00

He got shredded in a short amount of time? As we've seen from insane scrotes over on steroid subreddits, that shit makes you crazy and violent, did any sources drug test him?

IwantyoualltoBEDAVE · 2020-10-12T05:43:15+00:00

Articles like this are a major cope. Like we all can see the signs NOW but in the real world we cannot. She could clearly see he was withdrawing but if she said to ANYONE in her life that she suspected he would not only murder her but her two daughters as well she would have been considered insane.

The truth is Women 👏🏼 cannot 👏🏼 control 👏🏼 men’s 👏🏼 violence

crapeescape · 2020-10-12T02:55:45+00:00

Excellent article. I agree with executing a plan and leaving without notice. If you know your partner is capable of violence, don’t give them an opportunity to show it. A lot of domestic abuse and murders happens when women try to leave a relationship.

Anne-Lister · 2020-10-12T08:31:45+00:00

Let's make it clear from the start - these are not normal men who snap, these are men who escalate but the media like to pretend it was all out of the blue because until that point all his evil was hidden behind closed doors.

The Hart brothers have dedicated years of their lives to fighting this "nice family man who snapped" crap after their father murdered their mother and sister. They've pointed out that all the people who the media quoted as saying he was a nice guy barely knew the family.

Their father was a master manipulator who used the fact that he was well respected in the community to torture he wife into thinking no-one would believe her. Like this guy, he saw himself as the only true person, and the rest as his family as property that was his to destroy.

https://inews.co.uk/news/uk/domestic-abuse-book-brothers-write-179556

Journalist_Full · 2020-10-12T14:32:34+00:00

I captioned this on fb with "do not ignore red flags and do not be afraid to ask for help or to leave. I am willing to help anyone if you suspect red flags"

So many pick mes "there were no signs" or "he just snapped" or "their relationship was good though"

No ma'am. Authorities believe it was premeditated and I can assure, living with someone planning to fucking murder you, will show some type of sign or concerning language. Family annihilators do not "snap" and it is so dangerous to say that they do. I would not be surprised if she asked advice a few times from family members or friends and they all downplayed her concerns. Hence the "we had no idea" bs even though surely at least one of them, including the mistress, should have known.

People shame women for leaving their husbands so they ignore orange and red flags. They are either in denial or think of them as a "one time" thing and then end up dead and then victim blame once they are dead with "why didn't she leave?"

Society failed her.

This is a great article and I'm glad someone has made a formal analysis

2020-10-12T02:24:21+00:00

[deleted]

honeybeeroll · 2020-10-12T16:07:48+00:00

Thanks so much for sharing. I never heard of this case until I saw the women here talk about it. Can't even describe how horrible this is. She probably never thought he was capable of murder. Even if she had decided she deserved better than to beg him to love her and had left, he may have killed her anyway, the fucking psychopath.

When are we going to make reading Lundy Bandcroft's Why Does He Do That? like government required reading for women? Like getting your license - can't drive w/o it, can't date w/o reading that book. All the "omg mental health! Self care!" surface level bs out there, when is it going to become a hot trend to stress how DANGEROUS it is for women to date when they have unresolved mental health issues? Such as low self esteem, or inability to set boundaries? When is it going to become a hot trend that dating w/o your own financial stability is fucking dangerous?

understatedalways · 2020-10-12T10:00:51+00:00

Wow! This is an absolutely amazing list. So many of those “relationship lists” just regurgitate the same things but this one was actually helpful to me.

supremelyparanoid · 2020-10-12T05:55:26+00:00

Concise article!

arwenagon24999 · 2020-10-12T13:11:00+00:00

thank you for sharing.

throwaway631391220 · 2020-10-12T15:07:01+00:00

His texts to his wife gave me the same vibe the texts from my ex gave me: fake, empty, telling me what I wanted to hear. They’re both sociopaths. I’m so glad I got out!

keep_my_stuff · 2020-10-23T15:19:59+00:00

How disgusting that his side of the family forgave him, as his grandmother told him during his trial.

what_about_the_birds · 2020-10-12T04:29:51+00:00

I don't agree with some points. The bit about his parents not linking the wife because in Indian society 99% of MIL see their sons as god's gift to mankind and think no woman is worth it.

Similarly on the point of him withdrawing its almost natural. At some point or the other everyone gets caught up in their own lives. I don't think anyone expects their partner to be plotting their murder instead of just regular work stress.

I would rather say the key take aways is not to trust anyone blindly, always be financially independent etc. I also agree with the author that there is plenty of red flags that she probably ignored about this guy

Title	American Murder: 7 Relationship Lessons That Could Save Your Life
Author	ellengau
Upvotes	172
Comments	25
Date	October 12, 2020 1:51 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/j9i2p1/american_murder_7_relationship_lessons_that_could/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/american-murder-7-relationship-lessons-that-could.318533 https://theredarchive.com/post/318533

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