That's because they have poor empathy and communication skills, or narcissistic tendencies and inflated egos. Usually, it's both.
SIS, IF A MAN CAN'T APOLOGIZE WITHOUT SHIFTING THE BLAME, IT IS A RED FLAG.
Examples:
- "Oh, I had no idea you'd get offended, I'm sorry if you became upset."
At first it seems like an apology made with good faith, but in reality, he is suggesting that you, as a woman, get offended irrationally (or else he'd foreseen it, DUH!) and you are making a big deal out of it (by giving any kind of reaction, which is getting quiter/upset.)
- This guy made me wait for 30+ minutes at the coffee shop. He didn't even said "sorry" when he arrived. Instead, the first thing he did was reopening a subject I was passionate about, COMPLETELY out of the blue, so I would forget and just start "talking" with him.
I gazed at him for a second, and just said "We already talked about this last week, did you forget?"
In truth, this act shows that he never cared about my passions or my problems. He was gathering informations to use it against me. He was like "yeah yeah, just talk about your worklife again, I wanna listen, come on"
As the date continued, I said "Look, I am not angry with you. But it would be better for me if you called and let me know in advance." with my calmest voice.
I was expecting him to say "Yeah, guess you're right." and be done with it.
BUT HE HAD THE AUDACITY TO SAY "UHHH EXCUSE ME, BUT ONE TIME YOU WERE LATE TOOO!!!!!"
Yes, only for 5 minutes, because of the traffic. AND even then, I informed him in advance. We're not the same. At all. And he knew it too.
We had a little argument and I stopped seeing him again.
Tl;dr: LVM think acting oblivious and dumb will make us convince they are dumb and automatically innocent for real. Where in reality, they just test our intelligence and try to see if they can go under our radar. So that they can get away without taking a hit on their egos.
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