She can't find where the all the gentlemen went, but that shouldn't be a problem as she already has a relationship with Jesus

Nybaz · 2019-10-09T12:52:46+00:00

She probably ate all of them

mr_kuk · 2019-10-09T13:29:41+00:00

"Plus size but healthy" - I can hear the hamster wheel spinning from here. Anyone with any modicum of intelligence knows that being fat (plus size, chubby, insert euphemism of choice here) is anything but healthy. She can try to fool herself but she's not fooling me.

DoesItMatterTooYou · 2019-10-09T13:26:54+00:00

Actually this profile doesn't come across as entitled like so many others. She is honest about her weight and other things. She doesn't demand a bailout, call herself a princess blah blah..

Still a hard pass.

Westernhagen · 2019-10-09T14:06:10+00:00

"My relationship with Jesus comes 1st"

Jesus is the one who opens the store at 5am and makes the donuts, right?

goodmansaysfuckyou · 2019-10-09T12:40:22+00:00

God above all else, My relationship with Jesus comes 1st, Single Mom of 2 kids, & Boss lady

Something in this doesn't add up. Did the rules of the game change again???? Is it now 2 lies, 1 truth, and a delusion?

bushwicksick · 2019-10-09T14:45:18+00:00

Lol, why do prostitutes find Jesus after scoring a 50+ notch count and having a couple of crotch goblins? Way too convenient. She needs to stop loading up the junk food. She's a slob.

harharry · 2019-10-09T14:12:02+00:00

No sex, huh?

Like a car without a steering wheel or gas pedal. Good luck lady, you’re gonna need it.

miguelcar · 2019-10-09T13:45:15+00:00

The the poor chump is now third. Above him are her kids and her religion?

Wow, what a bargain!

OldFashionMarine · 2019-10-09T13:52:21+00:00

The only place this whore dances is in the buffet line.....

Typo-MAGAshiv · 2019-10-09T17:03:34+00:00

"No flings, hookup, or FWB" - a) why are you on Tinder, then, you idiot? It's a fuck app. Get on e-harmony or something similar if you want something serious. b) I doubt too many men are approaching you for those things.

"Looking for something meaningful" - again, you're in the wrong venue. Don't go to Auto Zone looking for groceries. Don't go to McDonald's looking for a porterhouse. DON'T GO ON TINDER LOOKING FOR ANYTHING BESIDES HOOKUPS.

"Honest, intellectual, deep" - I doubt all 3.

"Creative" - your profile PROVES otherwise.

"Plus size but healthy" - Wilford Brimley voice I predict diabeetus.

"Mom to 2 amazingly beautiful kids" - why aren't you with their father(s)?

"Wondering where all the gentlemen went" - same places as the proper ladies: mostly extinct, and way away from people like you.

[Pharisee-like religious virtue-signaling] - again, why aren't you with the kids' father(s)? "What God has joined together, let man not separate".

"Swipe left if you're looking for sex" - I'd have swiped left as soon as I saw your picture. If I'd been trying to bust a slump, I'd have swiped left reading your drivel.

BluepillProfessor · 2019-10-09T15:15:38+00:00

Fat, ugly, entitled, arrogant, single mom.

Wears shirt on a dating profile that calls her 'boss lady.'

Ummm, no.

Older_Miggy · 2019-10-09T14:38:33+00:00

"My relationship with Jesus comes first."

"Wondering where all the gentlemen went."

We're hiding from you up in the balcony during the meet-n-greet at 10am service.

RunawayGrain · 2019-10-09T14:48:49+00:00

'Make up artist'

No matter how much you cake on your face, that gut ain't going away.

My relationship with Jesus comes first.

Sounds like 2 different Chad's are the ones that came in her first.

Also, Whisky drinker and relationship with Jesus...

Global_MGTOW · 2019-10-09T14:45:53+00:00

Too bad she doesn't have a relationship with diet and exercise.

Velvet_Hammer_ · 2019-10-09T17:15:54+00:00

I remember an episode of Scrubs from some years ago. All the young, morally bereft main characters are standing around the nurse's station talking about who they're sleeping with, or moving in with. That big, old school black nurse, overhearing them, says, "I remember shacking up with a man before I got married.....his name was JESUS!" Funny as hell.

MiddleAgedBaldGuy · 2019-10-09T14:56:47+00:00

The text on the shirt says enough. PASS

[deleted] · 2019-10-09T15:12:29+00:00

"So over lying men". I.e. chasing men out of her league.

SomeSqueakyCleanButt · 2019-10-09T15:41:42+00:00

Plus sized but healthy.

Lol. Not with that gravy apron hanging down those cottage cheese legs.

SilverGryphon · 2019-10-09T17:39:22+00:00

Always, always, always the fucking same! They find Jesus AFTER getting knocked up and thrown off the cock carousel. It is all so tiresome.

sketchpad4u · 2019-10-09T22:26:21+00:00

Guys she means Jesus the father of her kids from the Home Depot.

ugluk1 · 2019-10-09T14:15:28+00:00

First date is at the pork chop place.

SquirtBurt · 2019-10-09T17:53:31+00:00

I love these women on OLD who call themselves writers or artists. In this case both!

Whenever you ask them about their work, “What have you wrote? Anything published? Have you every had any art shows at any local galleries?” They have never done anything.

Here’s an answer I got once from a “Jesus comes 1st writer.” “I’m going to write a book about all the miracles I’ve witnessed and angels I’ve met along this way.” Hadn’t even started writing her nonsense book.

Keep in mind this woman was actually jobless, was living with her parents at the age of 36, had both of her kids taking away from her.

Philhelm · 2019-10-09T18:12:03+00:00

“Would love to date musicians” Translation: Firstly, no musician is gonna go for this orca. Secondly, musician for her is some roadside thug who is involved in some weird band carrying a guitar. In essence, she is still trying to find her freedom. She wants to get used up even more since her perception says “30s ARE THE NEW 20s”

MDMantis-Toboggan · 2019-10-09T17:40:06+00:00

Unfortunately for you "Boss Lady", your greatest enemy ain't the Devil, it's Gravity. And no push-up bra in the world is going to give your tits salvation.

SquirtBurt · 2019-10-09T17:42:44+00:00

Even with huge saggy tits her guts still sticks out as far as them.

onbakeplatinum · 2019-10-09T18:54:43+00:00

"boss lady" means she slings essential oils or other mlm crap. So she's really gullible and bad with money too

[deleted] · 2019-10-09T21:02:30+00:00

Wondering where all the gentlemen went

Idk but you can stop looking for them at Olive Garden.

Zet_x · 2019-10-09T15:47:27+00:00

Plus size but healthy

And other jokes you can tell yourself

jb_golden · 2019-10-09T16:03:54+00:00

Me: AWALT

Me sees a pair of fat titties on a fat broad: Well, maybe she's not like that

Me reading profile but keep looking at fat titties and lying to myself: Look it's probably, I mean she probably... is cool, maybe..

Me on WhereAreAllTheGoodMen sub: Y'all right. God dammit.

Keystone_Heavy1 · 2019-10-09T16:25:32+00:00

"Plus size but healthy"

I don't think so.

Lurkingnopost · 2019-10-09T20:17:07+00:00

Ya, "plus size but healthy" makes as much sense as "honest lie".

cloudsfx · 2019-10-10T00:23:05+00:00

If you wear a shirt that says you’re a boss, chances are you’re not an actual boss.

bureaulard · 2019-10-10T00:29:18+00:00

Petrolhead?

She huffs Gasoline?

Fuckin keeper

AnonymousPredictions · 2019-10-09T14:54:33+00:00

Make up artist is not a real art nor a job.

frankmarlowe · 2019-10-09T15:07:55+00:00

If Jesus is #1 then why tf she need a man?

Oh right, Jesus don't pay child support, and being strong an independent is fuckin expensive and tiring compared to being "taken care of" as a SAHM.

FirmFirefighter · 2019-10-09T16:50:44+00:00

tits closer too knees than her chin. (Just to add to all the other stuff which makes her un appetizing!

Sal_Yodada6502 · 2019-10-09T17:00:26+00:00

Pretty obvious that the guys don’t frequent all-you-can-eat buffets.....

solamarvii · 2019-10-09T17:28:15+00:00

100% chance she tries to sell you makeup, jewelry, diet pills, etc.... from whatever pyramid scheme she is currently buried under.

[deleted] · 2019-10-09T17:44:35+00:00

these bitches are retarded

BlackWinterShinigami · 2019-10-09T18:15:19+00:00

Relationship with Jesus comes first but your a single mom.....now am I missing something. Where them kids father and why you not married to him....oh wait you were riding the CC and got preggo by one of them who walked away, and NOW U READY TO SETTLE DOWN NOW.

SMH the wall takes no prisoners

raymondreamer · 2019-10-09T19:04:18+00:00

I can't imagine a genuine Jesus lover using the term "BBW".

coldsteel86 · 2019-10-09T19:49:17+00:00

Ah the classic jesus loving wahmen!

These broads all got pumped and dumped when they were younger, this one in particular has 2 little crotch fruits to show for it.

Avoid like the plague!

BluePillCypher · 2019-10-09T22:39:36+00:00

"Plus sized but healthy" ..Someone please press X to doubt..

luckfawyersinstitute · 2019-10-09T22:44:55+00:00

Okay, I don't want sex. Let's just cuddle and do anal.

Esoteric-Wanderlust · 2019-10-09T23:03:48+00:00

Honest

Certainly not to yourself, it seems.

Chairman_Ellen_Pao · 2019-10-09T23:24:55+00:00

This Jesus is hilarious: https://i.redd.it/6ylptv4w6ns11.jpg , https://i.redd.it/t9e8s9vruzt11.jpg , https://i.redd.it/e9w9sd7b01t11.jpg

Dr_Bukkakee · 2019-10-09T23:29:12+00:00

“Plus size but healthy”

Pick one.

rebelauthor · 2019-10-09T23:33:04+00:00

Girls, if you don't want to get smashes and passed, get your kids off Tinder.. and get your dumb ass of there too. By the way, if you want a relationship, quit telling men you're gonna put something before them, be it some make believe being in the sky or your crumbsnatchers. You are an accessory to the throne. The King is coming. Act like you've been in the throneroom before.

Metroplex78 · 2019-10-09T23:46:45+00:00

BOSS lady... at least she makes it clear who will be in charge once you get involved.

StonedSamsonite · 2019-10-09T23:49:35+00:00

FUPA alert!

JohnCoolAmerica · 2019-10-10T00:36:29+00:00

get the fuck out of here..you ate the kids and drank all the whiskey.

smfuel87 · 2019-10-10T01:13:30+00:00

"BBW" lol... fucking fat piece of shit..

The-Nebertcher · 2019-10-10T01:38:41+00:00

Plus sized but healthy

My sides are in orbit

jrpark05 · 2019-10-10T01:47:37+00:00

I can already tell with her shirt that she'd piss me off.

"Mom of 2 amazingly beautiful kids". GMAFB

geronimo11b · 2019-10-10T02:21:39+00:00

'BBW', 'plus size but healthy'. Hahahaha! Yes bitch, we can tell you're morbildy obese without you pointing it out to us. Twice. When are these buffaloes going to realize that being a fat, rude, sarcastic dunce is not appealing to men? I get so sick and tired of seeing BBW, sarcastic, cuss like a sailor, etc. being bragged about like they are traits men actually want in a woman. It's disgusting.

markyp1234 · 2019-10-10T02:41:47+00:00

“Relationship with Jesus” I bet she uses the crucifix as a dildo

G1aDOS · 2019-10-10T02:49:35+00:00

honest, intellectual, deep

These are terms that you can use to describe someone else, but not terms you can use to describe yourself.

Saying "I'm honest" is all well and good, but that's something that has to be established through a history of honest behavior not something you can just claim.

No one would describe themselves as a liar, a dullard, and shallow. If you're really 'intellectual', write something that demonstrates it. If you're really 'deep', write something that makes every reader pause and reflect upon something. Not so easy is it?

deathtocontrollers · 2019-10-10T15:17:00+00:00

A relationship with Jesus, my ass. More like a relationship with Burger King and Wendys.

mblazin1532 · 2019-10-09T20:31:33+00:00

Thank god I'm an atheist!

harryagamez · 2019-10-09T22:38:07+00:00

The only reason a man would be interested in a girl is to fuck her. Why are these bitches so stupid to think a man would hit on a single mother if it's not to fuck her hard?

deathtocontrollers · 2019-10-10T00:46:49+00:00

Basically an ex CC rider, knowing soon, she will look like complete shit, looking for a beta bux.

Delifier · 2019-10-10T09:18:16+00:00

Ah, she went to church to find a dude to knock her up with two kids. Got it.

Vishapstein · 2019-10-10T13:22:18+00:00

The Bible says for women to be obedient to their husbands. Most modern day Christian women don’t follow this command though. Obviously, the men at her church know she’s not worth dating/marrying which is why she’s resorting to Tinder it find her gentleman lol

iduzhair · 2019-10-10T16:35:50+00:00

Her hand isn’t even on her hip, it’s just on her side. Her hips are just a solid mass of lard.

SuperGoxxer · 2019-10-10T23:29:47+00:00

"Boss Lady"

She should be the boss of what she puts in her mouth.

SirKolbath · 2019-10-11T01:48:25+00:00

"God above all else."

Your two children out of wedlock proved that to be a lie. And yet you claim to be seeking an honest man. Wow. Hippo gonna crit.

brutalitymuffin · 2019-10-11T02:12:42+00:00

Where have all the good men gone? Yeah, I wonder where the baby daddy went? Far, far away.

Unusual_Chair · 2019-10-11T12:35:46+00:00

If she likes Jesus so much the question is why didn't she find a man who follows him? Hmmmmm!

noobie107 · 2019-10-11T15:35:39+00:00

always cracks me up when women think that paying for professional profile pictures is the solution rather than paying a personal trainer

kyledontcare · 2019-10-15T00:02:27+00:00

I don't think whiskey drinking and Jesus go together in a profile.

Title	She can't find where the all the gentlemen went, but that shouldn't be a problem as she already has a relationship with Jesus
Author	garyvdm
Upvotes	322
Comments	193
Date	October 9, 2019 10:27 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/dff3w2/she_cant_find_where_the_all_the_gentlemen_went/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/she-cant-find-where-the-all-the-gentlemen-went-but.343827 https://theredarchive.com/post/343827

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