Does it ruin a relationship faster to want sex a lot than it does to never want sex?

Sir_manalot · 2020-03-14T13:04:38+00:00

No, it doesn’t.

In matter of fact it helps it.

The issue is that you have to find a man that is as sexually active as you, attractive and loyal.

Which is harder then you think...because of the first reason. Most men are not as perverted as society tries to say they are. Instead most men are thirstier because they are not getting any...when they actually start getting a lot of sex, men tend to want it less and less.

Which is why you are having that experience.

The biggest issue though is that modern dating is screwed up on both sides. Many of the men who would be a perfect match for you have been burned to the point that they either stopped trying or are only interested in short term relationships.

_lexxxi_98 · 2020-03-14T13:55:39+00:00

When I first got when my boyfriend we had sex what I felt like a lot, and I thought it it was different but never bad. Now that we have actually intercourse once a week it's starting to become rough and a small problem. I still love him and don't want to break up, but my sexual needs are not being please like his. He (37m) claims it's because of age and he's tired, but he also gets to see other people whenever. Rather than myself (21f) who has a sex drive like no other, but I just stick to pleasing myself most nights and being hopeful for something.

futurecuckoldress · 2020-03-14T13:31:31+00:00

Does it ruin a relationship faster to want sex a lot than it does to never want sex?

Oh wow, 2 extremes! Let's examine them 1 at a time.

The second one is easy: There's no relationship is there's no sex.

As far as "a lot of sex", the a lot is hard to quantify, for sure if there's a divergence between what he and she want/need for sex, there will be stress to the relationship; however there are plenty of people, men and women, with high libido who want/need a lot of sex, and if that's the case they ought to select their partners also on this characteristic, otherwise they will find themselves in a troubled relationship.

futurecuckoldress · 2020-03-14T18:24:53+00:00

I had one dude friendzone me once. I figured he just wasn't feeling my vibe and moved on.

A while later his best friend (who I am quote close with now) blabbed to me about why the dude didn't want to date me

It turns out I was 'too much' (to horny) and he didn't think he could 'keep up with me'. I understood why he didn't want to have that awkward conversation and appreciated that he didn't tell me.

I've also had dudes turn me down because of my fetishes which is also entirely reasonable.

But generally speaking most men are appreciative of a high libido, kinky women and it's a huge selling point.

AutoModerator · 2020-03-14T12:59:40+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

WicGoingAnonymous · 2020-03-14T13:30:22+00:00

Sex can act like a patch for certain relationship problems.

For instance: Stressed at work? Have a roll in the hay instead of bottling it up and then being upset and having a fight about a minor issue.

And offcourse there are other solutions for those relationship problems. People can go for a jog to destress instead of bottling it up. And you can't keep avoiding issues by having sex.

But in the meantime it's a patch and it might just hold shit together for long enough so that you can solve the actual problem.

mangolover97 · 2020-03-14T14:24:45+00:00

It honestly all depends on the guys libido. If he has a high libido no sex will ruin it faster. If he’s average to low too much sex would ruin it faster.

civil_scientist · 2020-03-14T15:46:22+00:00

I dream of a relationship where I'm able to find the right compromise. With the right person I love sex, but my body takes about a week to want to do it again. I've never said no to my partner when he/she wanted sex before, but if it's been less than a week...I really am just doing it for them. That is fine; I love my partner and want to keep them happy...but...good gravy, is it too much to ask to occasionally wait a week? I'll give blowjobs to keep them happy during the week with relish and gusto, but no one has been willing to wait for the full act long enough and with any regularity. It ends up with (in my last relationship for example) years of essentially only having sex I didn't want, which was killing me inside. Like having someone promise they would be your one and only source of food and drink, and offering only salt water and bones, not understanding why you aren't as satisfied as they are...

I think no sex (if one partner wants it) is more of a certain death knell for a relationship...but too much (or too much of the wrong kind) can be just as detrimental depending on the circumstances and the people involved. I do think there are compromises that can be made to keep everyone happy and fulfilled, if partners are willing to listen to and really HEAR each other, though some people simply aren't sexually compatible.

2020-03-14T13:18:10+00:00

Sex is one of those things where if it's great it's a nice perk, if it sucks... then it ruins everything. It's important but not as important as a solid connection/wavelength/shared values etc, basically all the other stuff that goes into making a quality relationship. And if you have that stuff, sex will usually be good too, or at the very least you can improve it.

1amtheSpoon · 2020-03-14T19:07:35+00:00

The problem here that I've run into is women who make these claims often have trouble remaining faithful. It isn't just about high drive but about wishing to have multiple partners usually. So when I meet women talking like this I've learned to steer clear.

Sid_Insidious · 2020-03-15T07:58:51+00:00

(I want a lifelong deeply bonded to me husband)

You know what you want. Few people these days actually do. If that is what you want, you should pursue THAT, and say goodbye to those offering you "alternate" arrangements.

If that is what you WANT, then that is what you should get and settle for nothing less.

TripleXwoman · 2020-03-14T14:24:54+00:00

I didn't even touch my husband before we were married.

So far it's been 5 years and we have no regrets and we're happy.

87AudreyHorne · 2020-03-14T15:19:33+00:00

I'm pretty relaxed about it. I dont have a huge need for sex and can satisfy myself but I care about being desired of course. I dont mind having sex but I also dont want my life to revolve around it. Basically I wouldnt enjoy being with someone who has the mentality that we need to do it X times per week like some people say online. That would totally kill it for me.

In my experience it totally depends on the context, if you're both busy and tired and a week goes by without that's cool. If you're on vacation and do it everywhere that's cool. I dont have that sense of panic that we now absolutely need to do it or everything is ruined, I want to be in a mood and I want him to be in the mood, I dont get forced sex. I also think oral or just fooling around (ex masturbating together) is also convenient. If a guy cant have sex for a while for some good reason (is sick, stressed or depressed) I'd be just fine taking a break if he is still showing affection and attraction.

Personally I never had sex be a big issue although I had a lot of relationships start with a few months of no sex, maybe I'm just really lucky with guys that it was never an issue

reluctantly_red · 2020-03-14T15:52:47+00:00

A woman who doesn't want sex every day is a problem. If she doesn't want to do it really often the relationship is doomed to fail.

Title	Does it ruin a relationship faster to want sex a lot than it does to never want sex?
Author	futurecuckoldress
Upvotes	1
Comments	122
Date	March 14, 2020 12:59 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/fihzaz/does_it_ruin_a_relationship_faster_to_want_sex_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/does-it-ruin-a-relationship-faster-to-want-sex-a.355437 https://theredarchive.com/post/355437

Comments