Guys, just a quick b/g, I've been married 16 years with 3 kids -- right before our first kid I agreed to put my aspirations on hold to raise the kids - so I've been at home doing that for 10 years - yeah, I know, beta.

About 3 months ago, I came across Donovan Sharp's channel and at first, just found it entertaining. He would talk about banging wives and all women are sluts, but I was sort of thinking - "glad I found a good woman". And he would say - "you don't think your wife would do these things, but trust me, she will."

So a couple of weeks ago I started putting all of these clues together, protective over phone, sorority beach trips with friends (she got a full wax and never does this at home), business conventions, long hours, gym...So I start questioning her on things - including the first sorority beach trip she went on while we were first dating. She denied any sex or physical contact and I have no real tangible proof.

So I'm going crazy, didn't eat or sleep for a week, cant get these images and suspicions out of my head, so she away at her parents for the night (yes, this I do know is true). So I come across a box she's had locked and I almost opened once years ago, but she got defensive about it and wouldn't allow me to. So I opened it, and inside were journals filled with guy after guy, leading all the way up to the first beach trip with her friends that she says nothing happened - she wrote that she had sex with another guy - and the sentence right after that was about me and she loves me.

Now, I never believed my wife to be this slutty, she's always been kinda shy in bed and acted like she was a "good girl" - so I don't know if she's was a dead-fuck with all these other men or what - but it has really shaken my world. This box has not been opened in at least 15 years, so there were no new entries in it to look at - so I have nothing since we've been married but suspicion now.

I called a divorce attorney yesterday, but I think the lack of tangible evidence, combined with I'm a stay at home dad with 3 kids - divorce, at least at this point does not appear to be an option, as the retainer is high, I don't want to leave, plus nowhere to go, I would want her to leave, pay alimony and child support as I would want to keep the house and kids...plus then what? She is 5 years older than me and said most of here encounters were when she was mid to late 20's, and I met her in my early 20's so I feel like I missed out

I've confronted her about this, but everything is under the auspice of "that was before you." Now, I get this, except for the one while we were dating (which she denied while denying anything new had happened), but the fact that she put on the good girl routine for me, now knowing there is a side of her desperate for male attention like that - I'm just confused and questioning. I'm going to demand to see her phone when she gets home, but I'm just sort of reaching out for real advice here