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Like doesn't attract like - why your masculinity is key

by newls | July 10, 2017 | TheRedPill

87 upvotes

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As men swallow the Pill and learn that girls actually get the gina tingles for strong dominant masculine figures, this often conflicts with years of indoctrination that he needs to do 'the right thing' and follow women's own advice to be nice and Just Be Yourself.

This advice that women give, while on the surface well-intentioned, is actually borne of the feminine imperative to maximise their own powers of selectivity over that of males. The advice encourages men to expose their 'true' alpha credentials, or lack thereof, so that the women can identify through behaviour which men to sexually pursue.

Don't conflate the Just Be Yourself trick with the idea of vulnerability. Vulnerability is the willingness to risk a woman's rejection through polarising women's opinions of you through brutal honesty. It's a display of genuine non-neediness, inherently an attractive trait, which shows a lower level of investment in the interaction with the woman than her's. However, Just Be Yourself encourages guys to unload all of their stories, baggage, and whining on the first date, killing any mystery and attraction that the woman may have felt.

Also, guys are often so exposed to stories told to them by their female friends about all the 'jerks' they've been with, that they assume that they're the unique one - that they're the one nice guy hero in a sea of jerks.

It's actually the other way around. The nice guy is one of millions in a sea of nice guys, and the few guys with genuine sexual options are the 'jerks'. They're usually not absolute 'jerks', but they do lean at the minimum a slight few more degrees than average to that side on the nice-jerk spectrum.

Therefore, it's worth noting that in present times, even a slight inclination of a few degrees towards the jerk end of the nice-jerk spectrum will be enough to induce a woman's interest.

I keep wrapping 'jerk' in inverted commas because what it actually represents is the concept of a man with an alpha mindset, whether learned or ingrained since puberty, whose masculine traits are optimised. He's confident in himself, he's aloof, he doesn't placate to others, he doesn't need a woman's validation, or indeed any validation. He's confident in his life mission, and he passes shit tests through having multiple genuine sexual options.

Girls flap their wings like angry hens at these stories of being treated poorly because they're constantly in a state of emotional flurry about these guys, in turn because of their attraction to these guys.

But these nice guys take their girl friends' stories at face value, when they should realise that these girls are subversively screaming how much attention they're paying to these so-called 'jerks', and therefore are totally wet for. Don't listen to a girl's words, listen to her behaviour. If she's spending time agonising about her roller coaster of emotions over a guy, that should scream to you her level of interest in him.

All the while, they tell nice guys how they wish their jerk boyfriends were nice like them. And it's from this validation that quite reasonably, though disastrously, the nice guys deduce that they must double down on their nice qualities to gain women's affections. They become more like women, and interact with women like other women do.

This is a grave mistake, as it completely destroys any amount of masculine-feminine polarity in the interaction between the nice guy and the women he meets and tries to attract. He tries to attract them with nice conversation, buying her drinks, and trying to negotiate her favours. This creates no tension at all, and makes her feel nothing for him. This leads to a string of inevitable friend-zone rejections.

As David Deida wrote in The Way of the Superior Man, there must be a masculine-feminine polarity for an inter-gender relationship to be enriching for both the man and the woman. Unlike attracts unlike. The more feminine the woman, the more masculine the man must be.

This is why the nice guy's strategy and graduation of his nice womanly qualities cause him all the more rejections and friend-zoning.

He has mostly female friends, he talks to women endlessly and gives them all of his attention. He gladly rearranges his entire schedule around women, and gives up all of his free time for them. His attention from a woman's perspective is therefore worthless. And attention is the coin of the realm for women when it comes to dating and sex.

The nice guy must break out of this cycle to gain his desired success with women, and it must come via a concerted effort to increase his masculinity.

  • He must immediately abandon all his female 'friends' and cease paying any attention to them. He can return to being their acquaintances after the transformation is in full swing, but initially he must make this step

  • He must hit the gym and start a lifting regime focussed on increasing his strength and muscle size. Even better if he can find a sport he enjoys too, which compliments the next item on our list

  • He must prioritise spending quality time with his male friends on a regular basis. If he has none, he must make an effort to make some, or reconnect with old school friends

  • He must spend a period of time in self-reflection on his insecurities and emotional health. Dr Robert Glover's No More Mr Nice Guy is the gold standard on male emotional health

Note that these all follow the common pattern of strong self-investment.

When ready, he must approach dating with a different mindset - one of genuine non-neediness. The only way he can achieve that is by having multiple sexual prospects at any one time.

You pass girls' shit tests by rejecting their power plays and showing you're not afraid of confrontation - you are more than happy to break up with one of your prospects because you intrinsically know you have value to other women too. This spreading out of your attention will also naturally increase your value to these women without deliberate effort.

Yes, cocky and funny, diverting, and all the other tactics work when passing shit tests, but at their core is the strong impenetrable level of non-neediness that we must all strive for.

Only with experience approaching women can you see this for yourself, and only with that experience of rejection can you see how little effect it actually has on you. And that's the way you will be able to completely call a woman's bluff and be completely okay with breaking up with her - it doesn't have to be overt, but she'll be able to sense it through your behaviour and demeanour, which you'll gain from your self-investment and non-neediness.


TL;DR: Like doesn't attract like, so don't act like a woman in your attempts to attract women. A man's masculinity is directly linked to his level of self-investment. Focus on your masculinity by lifting weights, prioritising time with your male friends, and pursuing your life goals.


Post Information
Title Like doesn't attract like - why your masculinity is key
Author newls
Upvotes 87
Comments 22
Date 10 July 2017 06:41 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/44588
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/6mggcm/like_doesnt_attract_like_why_your_masculinity_is/
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Comments

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (2 children) | Copy

I had a girl get angry and portray me as a jerk to her friends and orbiters during no contact.

Guess who came back wanting to fuck a week later?

[–]newls[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Great. Fucking love these stories.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Why/how did you got her mad?

[–]Snazzy_Serval2 points3 points  (15 children) | Copy

For the most part it's great writing and I was honestly angry reading it. I'm the proverbial nice guy that has lots of female friends, and always gets rejected and placed in the friendzone.

You're absolutely right that like does not attract like. Women don't give a fucking damn about common interests in men. That shit doesn't matter. That's just how you become friends with women.

Having a friendly conversation with a woman doesn't do shit and just increases your chance of being friendzoned.

The only problem I had with your post is the actions to take.

While abandoning female friends isn't something I've head before (and it's debatable if that is a good idea or not) everything else is generic.

Lift, read X book, hang out with guy friends.

Putting it bluntly, those things are not enough to become more masculine and start attracting women. I know this from personal experience.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy

Try NoFap. Be serious about it and give it time. A few years can do a lot of good.

[–]Throwaway1899470 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Does nofap actually help anything or it just frees up that 10-50 minutes you would have wasted?

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy

It will give you more energy, motivation and masculinity. This has to do with maintaining your sexual energy instead of wasting it.

On the long term it will make your senses more sensitive, balance your emotions, and make your mind more clear and focused. This has to do with dopamine sensitivity, and is something drug addicts experience as well when they stop their addiction.

[–]Throwaway189947-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

I've been looking into but didn't believe in the process. Just like people say exercise to get endorphins moving to help you feel better. That's crap I've never felt better ever after working out.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I actually notice the difference from working out and not working out. Do you sleep and eat properly besides it?

Also you never feel good directly after a work out. It's a subtle effect that fades in and lasts a day or two (more awake, positive, good mood)

[–]Throwaway1899470 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

My sleep is a mess, working overnights me getting to sleep on time depends on what time I leave and that depends on the call volume.

I notice the days o don't work out cause I'm anxious to do something.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sleep is very important to feel good. I would try to get a day job, sleep 8-9 hours at night, nofap, eat well and work out. You will notice the difference after 1-3 weeks.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

NoFap is the key to open all doors. I can't stress enough how much it changed my life. It makes you become the man you were meant to be.

[–]Australian_wanker2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lift with appropriate nutrition for your goal, read x-book and apply its lessons, hang out with guy friends (who are men, not boys). You will become more masculine doing any one of these things and increased masculinity will make you more attractive to women.

One of my clients was convinced she couldn't lose weight no matter how much exercise she did or how little she ate. She toldme she followed my training planperfectly and yet she stayed the same and put on more fat. She thought the laws of physics must not apply to her. She was an anomaly. I walked past her car on the way out of the gym one day and saw fast food and chocolate wrappers everywhere. Maybe she wasn't losing weight because she wasn't doing what she told me she was doing.

No one except you cares enough to hold you accountable. So I would challenge you to ask yourself if you're really following the lessons of trp, because it worked for me when I started applying it, and it's worked for many others. I doubt you are some rogue anomaly.

[–] points points | Copy

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[–]Snazzy_Serval0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

These are masculine traits, which come naturally when you start lifting and improving yourself.

What I'm trying to say is that those traits do not come naturally just because one is lifting and works on himself. What you are saying is that the trick to get wealthy is to have a job and go to work everyday. In fact, that's enough to get by but unless you have a very high paying job, you won't get rich.

[–] points points | Copy

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[–]Snazzy_Serval0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I've been seriously lifting for about 8 months now. While it may not be any serious accomplishment, me 5'5 at 135 pounds, yesterday I was doing deadlifts sets of 190. My max bench is somewhere around 170.

While it's nice to know that I'm getting stronger and that I'm looking a little better, it has done nothing to increase my confidence and lower anxiety.

Frankly I'm still getting rejected by women and that is what keeps my confidence down.

[–]MAWL_SC-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you can only bench 170 after 8 months you are doing something fundamentally wrong.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

However, Just Be Yourself encourages guys to unload all of their stories, baggage, and whining on the first date, killing any mystery and attraction that the woman may have felt.

No, this is "Show the girl that you are being yourself". Not the same thing. Being yourself is doing what you like to do and accepting the feelings you have.

Yes, you can be shy with women but trying to mask this won't work. Best is to just be shy or nice (adjusting yourself to her qualifications) but aproach anyway. Go through it, and after a while you will learn that trying to adjust yourself won't work anyway , and realize "why even put energy into that. I'll just do what I like and if it works it works and if it doesn't work it doesn't works".

Lifting weights is always good btw. Girls like how it looks but also it will make you feel good (because of endorphins and other chemical business in your body).

[–]Need2LickMuff-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

Whoa you mean a woman wants a man? Who'd have thought; Definitely worth the 10 paragraphs.



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