Neediness, not giving a fuck, and abundance mentality

This is beginner material, admittedly just a rehashing of old ideas. But hopefully it's presented in a new way that will be useful to somebody.

The basic outline goes like this:

• The most unattractive thing to a woman is neediness.

• Therefore, in order to be attractive to a woman, you must be non-needy (aka Don't Give a Fuck).

• To be non-needy, you must have something in your life that is more important than women.

Neediness

There is a lot of debate around here about what makes a man attractive to women. Looks matter most./You should be fit but don't have to be jacked./Looks don't matter as long as you have game./If you're not tall and white then don't even bother.

What makes a man attractive can be hard to pin down, but we can be definitive about what makes a man unattractive: neediness. Nothing dries up a woman faster than a thirsty man. Once you start exhibiting neediness you become pathetic in her eyes; and, as a biological imperative, no woman wants to bear the offspring of a pathetic, needy man.

Some guys are needy from the start, placing women on a pedestal and begging for their attention. Some men start out alpha, but as the relationship wears on turn into little bitches that text her ten times a day because they obviously have nothing better going on in their lives. Creepiness is an extreme form of neediness -- you're so needy that she begins to fear for her safety.

Non-neediness

If neediness is unattractive, it then follows that in order to be attractive you must cultivate non-neediness. This is also known as Not Giving a Fuck, Being Aloof, and, to some extent, Maintaining Frame.

A lot of the early PUA strategies -- pickup lines, negging/teasing, false time constraint, push/pull, agree and amplify -- were really just ways to get woman's attention without appearing needy. The problem is women are actually pretty smart. They're much more intuitive than men and can see through facades pretty quickly. Trying too hard to act non-needy just ends up making you look more needy. Or, maybe you'll fool her for an hour, but once you run out of canned routines she'll see that the "real you" is actually not worth her time.

Sidenote: an extreme form of non-neediness is dread game. For example, you're in a sexless relationship and you start dropping hints about the other attractive women that want to bang you. You're being so non-needy that you're telling her she's replaceable.

Genuinely Not Giving a Fuck

Simply putting on a show of non-neediness will eventually backfire, so you have to cultivate a genuine sense of not giving a fuck. There are basically two options:

1. "I don't give a fuck about this woman in particular because I have three other women willing to suck my dick at a moment's notice."

2. "I don't give a fuck about women in general because I have things in my life more important than getting my dick wet."

The first one is called abundance mentality. You approach a chick at the bar and you're able to play it cool because you know that even if you strike out you can always text Sally to come suck your dick. Or if she starts being boring and bitchy you can walk away because you know you have better options.

But this doesn't work for newer guys because they don't have better options. They'll come here and say, "How do I have an abundance mentality when I don't actually have abundance?" That's where the second one comes in.

If the most important thing in your life is getting laid, you're never going to get laid. Women aren't attracted to a man whose top priority is chasing women. You must have something in your life that is more important than women.

Lifting, Your career. Friendships. Hobbies. This is why we talk about Having a Mission. It gives you a Purpose that is more important than women. This is a deeper kind of Abundance Mentality that allows you to play it cool or walk away if you need to. Because you have something that you Give a Fuck so strongly about, you're able to Not Give a Fuck about everything else.