Let me preface by saying I'm by no means inexperienced. When i was partying and in a band i had decent game with a N count of close to 100, But always with alcohol. Well i decided to quit drinking a couple months ago and figured i would try to go on a tinder date this weekend. I met up with the girl and she was not the usual slutty type i have experience with, She was a graduate student, vegetarian, and very hipster and introverted. The date went okay, we had dinner and ice cream and had good conversation and i thought we kind of clicked. My problem was i was using no kino or escalation of any kind ( Something i naturally and effortlessly do drunk).

At the end of the date we both got in my car and i just made a bold move and went for a kiss. (A move that i pulled off in the same circumstance not even 3 months ago when drunk). She pulled back and rejected and said " That was really bad timing i was in the middle of saying something" I definitely surprised her and caught her off guard. I tried to play it off and laughed and said "Well what can i say, I go after what i want". After an awkward car ride home i just gave her a hug and we went our separate ways, Needless to say i'm probably not going to hear from her again.

My point being is that I have used a crutch my whole life and now that its been taken away from me, I have to learn to walk again. Its definitely a huge check to the ego and i know I'm supposed to embrace rejection and learn from it, but that's easier said than done. Jordan Peterson says that part of transforming like the phoenix is being burned little by little in uncomfortable situations repeatedly until you become the superior version of yourself. I am at least proud that i had the balls to make a move without alcohol. But to all you younger guys out there, heed my warning and never rely on a substance too much for game. You could end up like me and have to learn everything over again. Happy hunting.